Since We Last Spoke......

You know the feeling that you have when to much time has gone by since you have called what once was a close friend?

You feel bad you haven't called, haven't kept in touch, yet you almost can't bring yourself to call because just to much time has gone by and you feel guilty for that.

What do you say?

Where do you start?

This is me. Making the call.

I miss blogging.

I miss free time.

I'll be honest I really don't like the new job. But I guess that's no surprise I knew deep down I wouldn't. I am thankful to have a full time job though...... but.......

And I was afraid I wouldn't know where to begin? lol

So I've been busy working....

And taking the LAST online class for webdesign certification.....

Also had my 10 year high school reunion last week...... and just like the first day of school I had no clue what to wear. I went thru my closet numerous times looking for the perfect thing to wear before finally deciding on one of the many (many) dresses I had bought for Marine's Homecoming but never worn. 

It was a cute little Express dress I had gotten on sale. It was simple, yet dressy enough. 

The reunion was taking place in the banquet room of the local Mexican Restaurant. Not the first choice of some of the more..... shall we say.... more snooty planning members. The original invitation had invited alumni to a local event facility where diner would be catered and their would be a DJ. 

The total price was going to be $30 per person. Which isn't a whole lot but in this economy $60 per couple for finger food and no adult beverages is a little excessive.....  needless to say not enough people RSVP'd to make this first option possible. 

So the more level headed planning members (ie Giggles and LC) had suggested having diner at a restaurant and everybody just paying for their own meal. 

I admit I was torn about going. Part of me looked forward to, yet the other side felt like I had not accomplished enough to be going to my 10 year reunion already. 

But Giggles, Babbles, and LC had been on the planning committee and pretty much did not give the rest of friends an option when it came to attending.....

And if I was going Marine was going weather he liked it or not. Maybe I haven't accomplished much but may as well proudly portray myself as the happy cougar with the young, handsome husband ;)

Speaking of Cougar's did I ever mention that our wedding led to a budding of romances? 

LC began dating one of Marine's friends and they have been going strong ever since. So at least I'm not the only one robbing the cradle. They are cute together and both seem really happy. Plus it means I get to see her more so it's a win win situation. 

Anyway the reunion went pretty good. I saw my group of friends that I see all the time (Giggles, Babbles, LC,  Vixen, Conscious, and Nurse-Betty) along with several people I hadn't seen since high school. It was funny to reminisce about old times. Still hard to believe though that it has been 10 years. 

Babbles tried to catch me unaware

Even though I'm not where I thought I'd be 10 years ago, I am happy with where I'm at in life.

So besides that I have also been busy taking tests....... 

 

On the 4th of July I realized that I was late. Something I didn't think much of before then because I rarely ever start on the same day. 

But to be on the safe side I take a test. One line appears and then I swear I see a second faint line.

Marine says he doesn't see it. 

A few days later still no visit from Aunt Flo so I decide to take another test. 

This time the second line is a little darker. 

Marine and I stand over the sink staring at the test in slight shock.

"I told you I thought I saw a second line on the first one," I say.

"I saw it to," Marine admits.

"Why did you tell me then?" I laugh.

"Well I thought you might freak out......."

Needless to say it was unexpected and not planned.

The plan was to wait a year, maybe two, then start trying.

Sometimes God's plan is slightly different then our own though.

On July 27th we had our first doctor's appointment. When the tiny peanut showed up on the ultrasound screen I stared at in shock and wonderment.

I had been sick the past few weeks yet I still could not wrap my mind around the fact that I was indeed pregnant. 

Laying there though staring at the screen I knew it was true. Marine asked all kinds of wonderful questions. While I continued to just stare in wonderment. 

We were having a baby.

It was real. There it was. So small but already such a loud and steady heartbeat. 

I felt a flood of emotions; excitement, shock, fear - to name a few.

I am now almost 11 weeks along and I won't lie it still doesn't seem real.

It may sound bad but most of my friends have had miscarriages their first time.  I have watched them go thru that painful experience and am so afraid that it may happen to us also. Therefor its hard to get excited. Two more weeks though and we will be to the "safe" point and ready to tell everyone. Then I'll let the excitement out!!!

Until then I just feel cautious. 

I always thought when the time came I would be the calm one and Marine would be the freaked out one. 

I could not have been more wrong.

Marine has been so calm. So excited. So wonderful.

I've been the worrier..... How can we afford this? What am I going to do when it's here? Go back to work? Stay home? Can we afford for me to stay home? If not who will we get to watch it? etc.

So I sincerely apologize so much time has gone by since my last "call" but as you can see I've been rather busy. I'll try to not to let so much time go by before the next time though.

Lily: "I'm pregnant."

Barney: "I've never seen that woman before in my life! Sorry force of habit, congratulations!"

~ How I Met Your Mother ~