Tis The Year of Weddings & Babies

This year seems to be the year of weddings and babies. At least in my small corner of the world.

Giggles is getting married May 29th and Vixen June 12th. Yes that is two weeks apart for those of you without a calendar close by. Also dear Conscious is pregnant and her due date is June 26th. Lots of stuff going on in less than 30 days!

For the weddings I am honored (or cursed depending on how you look at it - lol just kidding) to be both Giggles and Vixen's Maid Of Honor.

This past weekend was spent at David's Bridal, a mad house this time of the year as Brides and bridesmaids bustle about trying to find sizes, styles, and colors that will be just right for the upcoming big day. Saturday I accompanied Giggles, her mother, and sister to the Bridal War Zone in search of bridesmaids dresses. The place was one big room of energy and movement, so packed we couldn't have really looked for dresses if we had tried. Luckily Giggles came with catalogue in hand already knowing which dress she was wanting for us.



It was a short summery dress in clover. Very cute! The picture really doesn't do it justice. And it is definitely a dress that I will wear again. In fact I think it may be a perfect dress to wear for my own rehearsal diner next year (see already planning multiple uses for it).



Afterward we went to eat Bahama Breeze, which is one of my absolute favorite places. The kabobs are nothing short of spectacular. It was great to sit and laugh with Giggles family, all of which I am very fond of.



Sunday was nearly a repeat of Saturday. I awoke and dressed preparing for another day in the Bridal War Zone. I picked up Conscious and we headed south to meet up with Vixen, Vivi, Giggles, and Blondie for yet another day of bridesmaids dress shopping. This time we were in search of dresses for Vixen's upcoming wedding.



The place was once again packed, but not nearly as bad as it had been the day before. In a struggling economy I think its safe to say that David's Bridal is not feeling the recession at all if this weekend is any indication!



Vixen had narrowed it down to two dresses. Both very formal dresses. Where as Giggles dress had been summery and casual, Vixen's would be long and very formal. We gathered around the rack as the associate tried to help us locate all the required sizes. Finally with our arms full we headed to the dressing rooms.



We laughed as we all attempted to get into the dresses and at the funny site we were because of course the only sizes they had were off the wall colors like bright blue and hot pink. We were all able to determine our sizes and placed our order for our full length, solid black dresses. Pretty, but will I wear it again? Honestly probably not.

After everything was settled Vixen, Vivi, Conscious and myself went to Taco Mac for good food and even better conversation. It was great to catch up with Vivi and Conscious. These are my two friends that I don't get to see as often.

Overall I guess you would say that it was a successful weekend. Both dresses have been ordered. Now just got to get to planning baby and bridal showers and the bachelorette party's.

Rachel, "Wha... married?"

Ross, "Well, yeah, I think we should get married!"

Rachel, "What? Because that's your answer to everything?"

~ FRIENDS ~

The Key To A Happy Marriage

Bored and killing time I decide to start looking up Honeymoon destinations. Marine and I have already said that we want to take a nice honeymoon, and spend less on the wedding. And since we will be paying for it we may as well do what we want. Before he left for training we also concluded that a cruise was probably going to be the best way to go. Cause cruises are a deal right now!

Also Marine and I are outdoorsy people so of course we want to do excursions. Two of things we agreed we would like to do is: 1. See the Mayan Ruins and 2. Zip line thru the forest.

So searching online (way in advance mind you) I find a great deal! May 2011 (told way in advance) 7 day cruise, Western Caribbean - going all the places we want to go. I look at the excursions and create a list of prices, time, etc so that Marine and I can discuss it when he gets back from training.

I am giddy though with excitement and despite the fact I know he may not get my text I send him one anyway, "Ok I know your phone is dead so your not going to get this for awhile cause your phones dead yada, yada! lol but I'm to excited I found us a great honeymoon cruise...." I continue to tell him the price and a few of the details.

Several hours later, to my surprise, he replies, "Hey Sweetie thats great use my card and book it! Where does it leave from and what day in May? I love you!"

Wait.... that was way to easy.....

I reply, "That's it? Lol you don't even look at it and you tell me to book it?! haha we gotta talk about it a little more than that."

His response, "Ur my future wife and I trust you, It sounds fun and its something we both wanna do."

We discuss it a little more and I explain there are 2 cruises for the same price with just slightly different stops. So we agree to discuss it when he returns.

I have to admit though, I think Marine has learned the first rule of a happy marriage....... give her anything she wants - as long as she's happy, you'll be happy!

lol just kidding :)

Ticket Agent,"Okay, Mr. Bing, you'll be in 25J,and Mrs. Bing, you're in 25K."
Monica, "Oh, no, you see, um, we're on our honeymoon. So, um, can you do you're little thing and bump us up to first class?"

Ticket Agent, "I'm sorry, all the first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two."

Monica, "You see, if we'd gone around them like I said, then she would have given us those tickets! Damn it!"

Chandler, "25J and K. Any chance those aren't together?"

~ Friends ~

Bittersweet

Today I booked a beach condo for deployment week.

It was very bittersweet.

I mean beach condo (sweet!).... deployment (not as sweet).

Marine's roommates wife called me yesterday to inform me of a great deal she had found. Beach condos on base for $27 a night. Yes you read that right, walk-out-the-door-step-on-the-beach-condo. Twenty-seven dollars a night. Can't beat that.

So this morning I called to make a reservation. I was equipped with all of Marine's information.... or so I thought.

By the end of my conversation this lady had me questioning if I really even knew my own name. I had given her Marine's social, his company, his unit number, his barracks number and pretty much the promise of our first born child (or so it felt) and still she needed more.

"What's his room number?"

Crickets chirping.... "I can tell you where the room is, does that count?" I want to ask but bite my tongue and reply instead with, "I'm not sure."

"What's his work number?"

I have no clue. Work number? He doesn't have a work number. I mean come on it's not like he has an office job here. I falter, "I don't know...."

Heavy sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Well I'm gonna need that information."

I want to tell her that she has his social and everything else can she not possibly look it up but I'm a firm believer that you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, so I keep my cool. I explain that he is away for training so it will be a few days before I can get the information.

Apparently my niceness has rubbed off and she says she will go ahead and book it for me but to just call back later with the additional information.

I plan on going up and spending five days with Marine before he deploys. We will have three days, just the two of us. It will be nice to sleep in, walk on the beach and just enjoy the last few days together. Then his mom and sister will join us a few days before the deploy date.

I look forward to seeing him and I look forward to the time together. But I know saying goodbye isn't going to be easy.

But I will hold my head high and I will smile and focus on the positive and worry about the rest later.

"It is a mistake to look to far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time."

~ Winston Churchill ~

Julie & Julia

So last night I cozied up with my bag of Oreo's and a can of Dr. Pepper and settled in to watch Julie & Julia.

I loved it.

As I creep closer and closer to my 30th birthday, I can totally relate to Julie's 30 year crisis! I mean here I am at 27 and like her I'm not really in a job that.... well imagine the scene where she is at lunch with her friends. All of them seem to be highly successful. And then there's her. She has a job but not one that she seems to think of as important or defines her. Yeah that's me. And that's my friends.

All of my friends are in careers in which they went to school for. Except me. So I can totally relate to lost feeling that I'm sure she was feeling at that exact moment.

Now I'm not being a Debbie downer here. Just stating facts. I know we all make our own choices. It was my decision to stay in my small hometown where a job in my chosen career field is not really an option. That is a choice I live with and don't regret. But we can all dream, right? Wonder about the what if's. Wonder what might have happened if we would have made other decisions in the past. Would we have wound up at the same place? Or would our lives be completely different?

I think everything happens for a reason. And even though career wise I may wish I would have made other choices, I would never go back and change a thing for fear that it may change other things in my life as well.

Back to the movie. I admired Julie. When she first set her goal of cooking the recipes in one year I did not realize it would be as difficult as it turned out to be. I mean the live lobster part???!!!! Yeah I would have so done the same thing as she did...... run from the room screaming!

I admired her for setting a goal and sticking to it. What a great way to celebrate and turn the 30 year crises into a positive thing.

This got me to thinking that I would like to do something along the same lines. Not cooking persay.... because let's face it I can't cook. But pick something and try to accomplish it within a year. Something that I would never really attempt otherwise. But what?

I have no idea.... I have at least another year and a half to think about it. A goal I will try to come up with around my 29th birthday.

The movie was great; positive, inspiring, and a happy ending. Plus Meryl Streep ~ which is always one of my faves! The only thing the movie left me wondering if Julie ever got to meet Julia..... it was amazing how two lives so distant could have such an impact. Even though Julie may have never met Julia it was amazing how she helped shaped Julie from the person she was at the beginning of the movie to the person she was at the end. ---- I also liked the fact that Julie got a book deal out of her blog. I mean really isn't that every bloggers dream? To be discovered and asked to publish a book?! Oh come on admit it, you know it's true!

It you haven't seen this movie, give it a shot. And perhaps join me in thinking of your own 30-year-crises goal.

"If no one's in the kitchen, who's to see?"

~ Julia Child ~

Oh The Weather Outside Is Frightful

In the south the mere mention of the word snow or sleet sends everybody in a frantic, frenzy. The grocery stores become packed as people stock up on food as if the world is about to come to an end.

Seriously.

Maybe its because we are ill prepared for snowy, winter weather. Our mountainous roads become slick quickly and make it hard to travel about.

Either way it meant that I got to leave work early. I went to the grocery store for two items: Dr. Pepper and Oreo's. As a kid my dad would always buy Oreo's when snow was predicted. That was the only time he would ever buy Oreo's he said something about the thought of being snowed in made Oreo's and milk sound good. Now that I'm older I have to laugh cause I now always have to have Oreo's if snow is in the forecast!!

Even when Marine and I were on our trip and all the snow was coming down, I had to make him stop so that I could get Oreo's to take to the hotel. Even though Dad may be gone, memories like this will never be forgotten. ♥

Also while at the store I went ahead and said hello to my close friend RedBox, who was so nice as to send me on my way with Julie & Julia and Made of Honor.

While at the store I purchased my first post engagement bridal magazine.

So here is to a night of curling up on the couch with my magazine of ideas, a good movie, and hand full of Oreo's. The weather outside maybe frightful, but inside is so delightful!

Lorelai, "Michel, it's the first snowfall of the season. It's very lucky! Make a wish!"

Michel, "Get away from me."

Lorelai, "Oh, you're not supposed to say it out loud."

(Michel answers the phone.)

Lorelai, (to herself) "The world changes when it snows. It's quiet. Everything softens."

Michel, "It's your mother."

Lorelai, "And then the rain comes."

~ Gilmore Girls ~

Preparing For Deployment

So while Marine is out training in preparation for the upcoming deployment I figured I to should start preparing.

While his preparation is mental as well as physical, mine will be mainly focused on the mental aspect. The reality that he will be gone for 7 to 8 months.

Personally I am glad (for my sake) that he will be deployed during the summer months when my schedule will be jam packed with horse shows and other Saddle Club events. The time will pass faster as long as I stay busy.... or at least that's what I tell myself.

I Googled - Relationships and Deployment - and found several good links. One that I found interesting within the Marine Pre-deployment Guide for families, was referred to as the emotional cycle of deployment (Below was taken from this website ~ of course with my commentary thrown in, this can be seen in red!):

STAGES ONE THROUGH SEVEN

A. Stage one – Anticipation of Departure (1–6 weeks before departure).
Before the deployment it is not uncommon for spouses to protest, to feel tense, to be frustrated and to avoid the reality of the Marine’s/Sailor's departure. Spouses may unexpectedly find themselves crying at what may seem to be little things. There is also tension as couples cram a multitude of activities in a reduced time frame. There are things to fix, things to do, and people to see. It can be a hectic and frustrating time. ~ I disagree with the the 1st part, I'm sad Marine is deploying but I don't feel frustrated. It's his job. It's something he has to do. And thankfully to men like him I am able to sleep in my warm bed at night safely. --- From personally experience though I do agree that couples try to cram in as much as they can. Every time Marine comes home the list of things to do and people to see seems endless.


B. Stage Two - Detachment and Withdrawal (Last week before departure).
Detachment may begin before the actual departure. There may be anger and emotional break-offs as people prepare for separation. It can be a time of mixed feelings, as one attempts to protect oneself from hurt by distancing, yet wants to make the most of the available time. At the beginning of this stage the spouse may experience the grief of loss. Detachment will also be a part of the whole separation time. It is the state of routine, day to day, living. ~ Hmmmmm...... I hope that I do not go through this! What an awful thing to be this way the last week together. I would think that it should be a time to appreciate being together. Be thankful for those last moments. Not spend them being distant.

C. Stage Three - Emotional Disorganization (1-6 weeks into deployment).
Emotional disorganization can occur initially when the spouse attempts to make new routines and carry out their duties. Many spouses are depressed and withdraw from friends and neighbors, especially if the neighbors’ spouses are home. They often feel overwhelmed as they face total responsibility for family affairs. The disorganization soon passes, however, as the spouse recovers.

Important notes to remember during both stage two and three is take care of your and your children’s health. Shop and cook for healthy nutrition. Get plenty of rest and exercise. In addition, avoid trying to do everything all by yourself. Contact family, friends, neighbors, and spouses of other deployed Marines/Sailors whenever you need practical or emotional support. There are many other spouses in your unit family that are dealing with the same emotions and increased responsibilities that you are feeling. Often it helps just to talk to someone in the “same boat.”

Now this I understand a little more. I can see being depressed to begin with as you settle into a new pattern. You no longer have that significant other to rely on.

D. Stage Four – Recovery and stabilization (variable, between weeks 3 & 5).
Recovery and stabilization occurs as the spouse gets set into a routine and realizes they are doing fine. It is a time of increased confidence. A subconscious move from “we” to “me” has taken place at least to some degree. The spouse often refers to “my house,” “my car,” and “my kids.” Most spouses have a new sense of independence and freedom and take pride in their ability to cope.

E. Stage Five – Anticipation of return (6 weeks before return).
This is the “Oh boy! They’re almost home,” stage. With it comes excitement and anxiety. Some spouses become frenzied, as they rush around trying to make everything perfect for their Marine’s/Sailor's return. Many spouses start diets and pick up the pace of doing what ever it is they feel must be done before the Marine/Sailor returns.

Important notes to remember for stage five is don’t expect things to be perfect after the reunion. Consider setting aside quiet time during the first few days. Avoid planning a busy schedule of events. Even though reunion is exciting, it can be stressful, too. Changes may have occurred and you both will need time to adjust. He gained weight, she changed her hair, and the kids probably have grown. Another area to think about is the budget. There will be increased food costs and greater transportation costs.

F. Stage Six – Return adjustment and renegotiation (6 weeks after return).
Upon return to home the phase of adjustment and renegotiation of the relationship begins. The set of assumptions and expectations need to be reset, and reevaluated (fine tuned), to account for the changes that have occurred in the past 6 months or year. It may be a time of tension and fighting. This is, however, normal and to be expected. Communication is the key. Especially during stage six. Remember, open, honest communication can solve many problems or conflicts.

G. Stage Seven – Reintegration and stabilization (6-12 weeks after return).
The last stage is when reintegration of the family is complete and things have stabilized. The move from “me” (my house, my car, my kids) to “us” (our house, our car, our kids) is complete. The returning spouse is a part of the family again, and “normal” life resumes.


It will be interesting to see how how I handle the stages in the upcoming months.

Also in preparation I have been looking for creative ideas for care packages (besides the 'want' list Marine has already prepared for me). And things I can do that may help the days pass a little better for Marine.

1. Jar full of inspiration: Fill a plastic jar full of inspirational messages to keep your soldiers hopes up. Put exactly the same amount of messages as days that he will be gone. On the front, put a message that says “Prescribed: Take one dose of inspiration each day.” ~ Super CUTE idea, that I will be sure to do!


2. Send brochures about the places you want to go when he returns ~ In our case I'm going send honeymoon ideas :)


3. Cake in a Jar ~ Sound interesting? YOU BET! I kept seeing this over and over so I had to look up the recipe. Definitely a cute idea I'll have to try.


4. Over at the Army Wife Network they mention several ideas for themed packages. A cute one was: Hang in There! – stuffed animal monkey, banana bread, banana chips, banana pudding, monkey’s in a barrel game, card with a monkey on it.

I found many other great ideas, but thought I would limit the list to four.

Now also since Marine will be out of electronic range (i.e. no email or computers) I thought of a way to personalize or spice up our letter correspondence. Today I purchased a pre-deployment gift that I plan on giving Marine when he is home in February. The Kodak zx1 (on sale right now with Amazon). It's small, durable, weather proof and best of all takes 2 AA batteries. Perfect for middle of nowhere use. In the next few months I plan on purchasing one for myself as well. This we can take videos and mail the memory cards back and forth with the letters. It's nice getting love letters but how great will it be to get a video from him where I can actually see him as he talks to me telling me about his day? Or that I can send him video's of horse shows or other everyday events I will experience here.

I think it will be a great addition to letters.

Anybody else dealt with deployment? I would love to hear feedback, personal stories, etc! :)

Photo Shoot

Oh how I love days with the girls! This past week was hectic but Sunday things slowed down as I met up with Vixen, Blondie, Giggles, and Nurse Betty and we headed to another friends house for a photo shoot. Our unnamed friend dabbles a little in photography and talked us all into participating in a Valentine's day photo shoot.

Sexy lingerie and all.

This was something I had never done before and was more than just a little nervous when we arrived. But the fact that only my close friends were there seemed to ease my mind as we all began to got ready. Blondie went about fixing hair and applying make-up.

It was a fun day. I had a great time spending the day with some of my closest friends and hopefully some of the pics will turn into a great V-day gift!! Have to wait and see.

Chandler, "Guys, I need your help, I don't know what to get Monica for Valentine's Day."

Rachel, "Well, Valentine's Day was two weeks ago so I wouldn't get her a calendar!"

~ FRIENDS ~

Never Stop Learning

You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.

This goes against my Virgo nature entirely! I want to please all the people all the time. I can't help it. Maybe it's a genetic defect or something.

So a few weeks ago an opportunity arose to make some extra money. And right now I'm sure we all could use a little extra money. Thru a connection I have I sometimes get the opportunity to clean houses that have gone into foreclosure but are in the process of being purchased. Hollywood and I have went in together and have done a few jobs. We go in and clean the best we can (in that some of these houses are trashed!) and do our part in making the place look it's best for the soon to be owners. WE never actually speak to the new owners, we go in clean and get paid. It normally works well.

This time was a little different. The house had already closed and the owners asked my contact if they knew of anybody to do a pre-move-in cleaning. Hollywood and I were recommended. We go with the contact to check out the house. The house is in excellent condition and appears to be a breeze compared to the past houses. No trash to haul off, no cabinets to clean out - just clean, polish and shine. Seemed easy enough. But something in my gut told me not to take the job.

Hollywood and I cover exactly what is expected of us and due to the size of the house we set a price.

Several days pass and my contact confirms to me that Hollywood and I have the job.

Still I am filled with a sense of foreboding. But foolishly I push the feelings aside.

This past Saturday Hollywood and I arrived at the house a little before 9 a.m. and begin to unload the car. Once inside Hollywood sorts thru the cleaning supplies and I plug in the radio. I mean got to have music to keep up beat, right?

Like an unspoken agreement we know which areas are ours and I immediately begin to fill my bucket with a mixture of Murphy's Oil and water. First I vacuum out the cabinets and drawers and then I begin to scrub..... all 26+ kitchen cabinets. We work silently every once in awhile humming to the music or verifying that something has already been done. We mop, clean windows, dust light fixtures, polish doors, wipe down iron staircase rods............. and the list goes on and on and on.

Shortly after 3 I am finishing vacuuming out the last air vent as Hollywood puts the finishing touches on the kitchen counter. We turn off the water, drain the water lines (per instructions) and do a final walk thru. Everything looks spotless.

The nagging feeling I get deep inside is still present. As Hollywood loads the car I go thru the house again trying to reassure myself everything looks good. I admit to myself that it does, yet the feeling remains.

Yesterday Hollywood calls me and says the people are dissatisfied, and were very rude to her over the phone. She apologized and said that we have never had a complaint and of course we would make it right. She asks the husband and wife what was wrong. They begin to list things that were not discussed previously, mainly exterior stuff when it was made very clear upfront that we cleaned interior only. The only exception we had made when we gave them the quote was that we would clean the 2 decks and front porch of all leaves and debris. Which we did.

Hollywood tells them this and despite their rudeness apologizes for any confusion on our part and says we will return and complete the things on their list. Because it's obvious at this point they are looking for an excuse not to have to pay us.

The woman snidely remarks, "and the garage doesn't even look as if it were touched."

According to Hollywood she kept her calm, and reminded the woman that when we did the pre-walk thru she said just to sweep the out the garage if we had time, that it was no big deal it would get dirty again soon anyway. As if it were no big deal. Thankfully I could tell this lady would be a bitch so I swept the garage out - clearing out the dirt, grim, and leaves. Hollywood explains to her that we did sweep out the garage but again we are sorry she is dissatisfied and we will be sure to go over it again.

I perhaps take all this to personal. Because:
A) I have never had a bad job review
B) I am an over achiever

and also of course I hate that my contact recommended us and this may now reflect on them.

Sometimes it really helps to just vent.

I think that it is important that we never stop learning. And despite, or inspite, of this situation I have learned a few lessons:

1. Next time get the expectations/instructions in writing beforehand

2. Take before and after pictures so that the "he said - she said" part is eliminated and we will have proof of what the place looked life before we cleaned.

3. Always listen to your gut instinct..... from the get go my gut was telling me not to take this job. I just knew it. Normally I go with my instincts, from here on out I will try to ALWAYS go with my instincts.


And for my Virgo, people pleaser, can't stand negative feedback, wants to please everybody - personality.... well I don't think there is much I can change about that.

Ross, (About Chandler cleaning the apartment) "Look, Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind of stuff. Believe me, I lived with her for sixteen years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you."

~ FRIENDS ~

Sorry Just Had To Share

So last night I bartended at Sports bar (yeah it's been awhile), with one of my best guy friends. Early in the night before the crowd hit we were chatting catching up. He is telling me about his recent bday bash (I was sick and didn't get to go). And this made me laugh so hard I just had to share. Sounds like a comment off a TV show.

Girl, "I think you need to stop drinking."

Guy gives skeptical look.

Girl, "You know what happens when you drink to much."

Guy, "Yeah I like you alot better."

Maybe it's mean to laugh but it so sounded something like off of How I Met Your Mother or something!

Setting A Date & Buying a Dress

The date has been set: May 7, 2011.

Marine deploys here soon and will not return for 7 to 8 months, which puts us around Christmas time. We both have decided we want to get married outside, because we are both outdoor people. And he gets out of the Marines in March, and March is still part of the winter months here. April is normally a month of rain. So May will give him a few months to get settled and the first weekend in May will probably be the first warm weekend to be outside..... we hope.

It seems like forever away. Marine likes the idea because he says he plans on coming back from Afghanistan and me having everything planned. Which is apparently any groom's idea of the perfect wedding. I on the other hand want him to be involved. So we are trying to decide on all the major things before he leaves.

So this month while he is in California, I am trying to find locations for us to look at together when he comes home for a few short days before deployment.

Easier said then done. We will be paying for this, and have set a budget. Locations are not cheap and the pasture out behind the barn is starting to look better and better every time I look at a location and see the price tag.

Seriously.

But in good news, I bought a dress. Or perhaps I should say THE Dress. A little early, yes I know.

Earlier in the week I was bored at work and looking at David's Bridal. I see a dress that I had fallen in love with before when going dress shopping for a friend last year. It's on clearance. $99 dollar sale. Online only.

I debate. And toss the idea back and forth about ordering it. I consult with Vixen, Giggles, and Babbles, who help me come to the conclusion that if on Friday (yesterday) they still have the dress in my size I will order it.

The only problem is with online sales is that if you get it and it doesn't fit there are no refunds and no exchanges. I search Ebay and Craigslist though and decide if it doesn't fit my chances of reselling it seem pretty good.

Yesterday I search and there are only 3 sizes left available. One of those being my size. I take it as a sign and I enter in my debit card number and press order.

If it fits (fingers crossed hoping it will) I will be quite proud of myself for saving money and for getting my dress for under the budgeted amount.

I love it!! It is simple, but beautiful at the same time. Free flowing, and not to puffy. I'm not a puffy person.

Edie, "Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and buy a wedding dress. Oh, and by the
way, I'll be wearing white, so that'll be a surprise for everybody."

~ Desperate Housewives ~