Another Perspective

A few months back I ran into an old friend. A guy I had went to college with. One who, in the past, I would have had a crush on if I hadn't been in a relationship. I don't really know him that well, but what I do know of him he is a nice guy. So after the run in when he sent me a friend request on Facebook, I was a little excited. When I got a message commenting on a photo of Vivi, Vixen, and myself I started thinking of him as perhaps a future date prospect.

Since then he has asked me out twice...... and twice I have had to ask for a rain check. Once because I was scheduled to work at Sports Bar, the second because I already had plans with Vixen and Blondie. Part of me does want to go out with him, yet part of me is still a little gun shy. I really need to get over that.

Today I was talking to a guy I used to work with. He's kinda like that older annoying brother that is always right. He some how steers the conversation to my romantically challenged life....

Me, "I will never get married again. Hell I'll probably never be in a serious relationship again."

Work Brother, "Yeah you will. Next time marry for money."

Me, "Haha."

Work Brother, "Am I wrong?"

"I hope not. But I will not marry again," I reply stubbornly.

Work Brother, "Your way to young to say that."

Me, "Uh no. Been there, done that, learned the most expensive lesson hopefully of my life."

Work Brother, "Shit you will find someone..... Open your mind."

Me, "Even if I do find someone that doesn't mean I'll marry them."

Work Brother, "You don't know that. Think about what you are saying."

Me, "I just find it hard to believe I will ever trust someone that much again. It won't be anytime soon. I hate to say it but I'm scared to death of commitment."

Work Brother, "How many times have I been wrong? Besides that's a lie." He pauses, "If anything you strive off commitment."

Me, "Face the facts I get asked out all the time but I stay busy cause I don't want to go on dates cause I'm not ready for a relationship and I also suck at hurting peoples feelings. So I rarely go on dates and just stay busy so I have an excuse not to go. I know that sounds crazy but what if the date goes good? I'm not ready for it to turn into anything."

Work Brother, "Look at your commitment to your friends...... your mom....... your not scared of commitment your scared of getting hurt. Stop second guessing yourself."

Damn he may have a point.

Pause. Me, "Ok maybe your right."

Work Brother, "So what are we going to do?"

Me, "About what?"

Work Brother, "To fix you?"

Me - laugh, "No clue. I'm having fun going to horse shows right now. Me and Horse won this past weekend."

Work Brother, "See more commitment."

Me, "Shut up."

Work Brother, "Haha you love me."

Me, "Yeah but I hate when your right."

Maybe he is right. My whole life is made up of commitments; Commitment to friends, to family, to work, to my animals, to club projects (fundraisers), and recently I have been trying to renew my commitment to church.

I hate it when he's right.

So maybe I will give college friend a chance. If he ever asks me out again, but really I've said no twice.... hmmm....... oh well maybe he'll go with '3rd times a charm.'

And then there is Marine2...... who I do a have a full fledged crush on..... but ssshhhh don't tell..... none of my friends know that [ except now Vivi - Hi Vivi (insert wave) ]. Because it is a silly crush. One I know I will get over the minute we actually hang out. Therefor I refer back to the "your-friends-may-not-need-to-know-everything" rule. I will withhold the details because I don't want to jinx myself...... but lets just say in overcoming this phobia Marnie2 and I have upcoming plans....... Cross fingers nothing happens between now and then.

Sometimes all you really need is another perspective.....

Karen, "Rosie, I just met the most incredible man!"

Rosario, "Are you sure you just didn't lean into the doorknob again?"

~ Will and Grace ~