A friend from out of town who is the lead singer in a rock band was having a show and I really wanted to go show my support. So GirlFriend and I agreed after work we would head south for the show. I was excited and hustled about anxiously ready to get going.
In walks Big. I haven't mentioned Big lately because as I predicted months ago he did get back together with the Girl once I told him we were no more. And well I really don't want to go into his situation. But to make matters more complicated the Girl is GirlFriend I work with's sister. Yeah welcome to small-town-everyone-knows-everyone life. He says that him and Girl got in an argument and she has left him. I'm sorry but not my problem. I'm going to the show. Then GirlFriend invites him to come with us. Sigh. Great. Perhaps I should mention GirlFriend knows Big and I dated all those years ago but she knows nothing of our more recent history.
So the three of us head south. Big will always be one of my closest friends but still I will be the first to admit the situation was a little effed up. Oh well. What do you do. We arrive at the show (which has already started) and I rush excitedly to greet Electric. I haven't seen him in ages it seems! I grab a beer and take a spot next to Electric the music fills the room and you can't help but tap your foot to the beat. Then I catch a glimpse of the guy I was talking about the other day, College Friend he sees me about the same time I see him. I offer a smile and a small wave, he smiles back as he excuses himself from his friends and makes his way thru the crowd. He gives me a hug and a greeting that is lost in the music. I just shake my head and shrug my shoulders. He laughs and shakes his head and remains by my side to listen as our mutual friend rocks.
The show draws to an end and the crowd cheers. Big, Electric, and GirlFriend wonder off and I stay and talk a moment with College Friend. Then we go outside to join the others. I greet Rock Singer friend and his wife and tell him how good the new band is. There is a group of about 20 of us standing around congratulating him on the show. I turn and Big is talking to a guy friend of ours from High School who I have not seen in awhile. I join in on the conversation laughing about old times while GirlFriend stands listening to High School friend (who is a little drunk) tell of a disastrous camping trip. At the end of the story Big turns to me and asks, "Was that when we were dating." I roll my eyes at him and say no while laughing and shaking my head.
High School friend stops and looks back and forth between the two of us. "You aren't still together?" he asks a questioning look crosses his face.
"No," I answer for the both of us.
"Why not its obvious you guys are still in love with each other."
For perhaps the first time in my life I'm speechless. "What?" I scoff, "Your crazy." I look at GirlFriend, High School Friend and then lastly Big.
"Whatever it's so obvious just the way you look at each other."
Big laughs and I respond, "And how do we look at each other?"
"When he looks at you its obvious he is in love with you." He pauses I laugh shaking my head and glance over at Big, "And see like just then when you glanced at him. Just obvious you still love him to."
Mind you GirlFriend is still standing there also hearing all this. Big remains silent just chuckling a little to himself. I perhaps should have also kept my mouth shut but we all know I'm not any good at that, "He's one of my best friends. We have a love/hate relationship." I try to joke about what has been said.
High School Friend will not deter from what he sees as his profound observation. Finally I shake my head and walk off and head for Electric and the circle of people he is with. Thankfully GirlFriend laughed at the drunken outburst and seemed to think nothing of it except to later tell me that even after I walked off he spent 2o minutes telling Big that he was still in love with me.
Not sure I have ever been so embarrassed, nor have I wanted to punch someone just to shut them up. I retreat back inside to use the restroom and decide as I walk back out that I need to talk to College Friend a bit more.
I walk outside and scan the crowd but he is no where around. I wait thinking he to may have went back inside. Twenty minutes pass and still no College Friend. So I send him a text.
Me, "Leave?"
College Friend, "Hey yeah. U with the blonde dude? Wanted to say bye."
Great. Just Great. I knew I would regret Big coming on this little road trip.
Me, "No lol I went to the bathroom came out was going to talk to you and you were gone"
College Friend, "Sorry I have to be up at 7. What u doin tomorrow evening?"
Me, "7 wow that sucks. Was supposed to have horse show tomorrow but it was canceled cause of rain."
College Friend, "Ah. Want to get into something later on tomorrow night?"
Me while smiling to myself wanting to jump up and down and do a victory dance, "Sure just let me know."
The remaining group of us decide that we are ready for a late night snack and headed for Steak and Shake. Electric had rode down by himself and I was not really looking forward to getting back in the car with Big and Girlfriend so I accepted the offer when Electric asked if I wanted to ride with him.
After diner though and once back at my car it was voted I would give Big a ride home since his house is right past mine. We climb into the 4Runner and start the journey home. He tells me of his relationship problems and seeks advice on his difficult situation. As a friend I would like to help him but I don't really know what to say. He mentions drunk High School friends outburst and we laugh about it. Then slip into silence. "Is it that obvious?" He finally asks.
I know what he is talking about but don't know what to say so I stall, "What?"
From the dim light of the radio out of the corner of my eye I can see him shake his head as he makes a laugh/scoff noise, "You know what."
"He was drunk. He doesn't know what he's talking about."
"You do know I love you though."
I want to say that it doesn't matter. But I can't bring myself to so I say with I sigh, "Yeah. I love you to. We've been through alot together over the years. We'll always have a love/hate relationship."
"Why did I mess things up so much?" He asks almost to himself.
"Everything happens for a reason." I pull into the driveway.
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
We slip into silence as I maneuver up the driveway. I can't stand it I have to get the train back on the right track, "You know though I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything. Even after all we've been through I'm glad we're still close."
"You'll always be my best friend."
I come to a stop and put the 4Runner in park. He leans over to hug me bye and says once again, "I love you." The tone this time is different and I know he is saying it as my best friend. I can handle that tone better.
"Good night." I say as we pull apart.
He gets out of the car and I head home with to many things going through my mind.
You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
~ Dr. Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy ~
1 comment:
wow. goosebumps! keep us posted!!
Post a Comment