Tuesday, January 6, 2009

My Jacob

I, like every other female in America, am thoroughly addicted to the Twilight Saga. Love it! Love it! Love it!!! As I turn the pages of Eclipse I realize I may not have found my Edward but I have found my Jacob. Ah Jacob you can't help but love him and yet pity him all the same time. For all of us I am sure have loved someone that we know will never quite feel the same way in return.

While reading New Moon, something had tugged at the back of my mind ~ a connection I was unable to make. But as I read Eclipse it dawned on me; I realized who Jacob was. Trouble was my Jacob. The best guy friend who is always there for you. I love Trouble and I tend to refer to him as my rock ~ the one guy in my life I know I can count on. After X moved out it was Trouble that called me daily to check on me (I think he was afraid I would have a breakdown). It was Trouble that I cried to. It was Trouble who gave me advice from a guy's perspective. It was Trouble I shared my doubts and fears with. It was Trouble who helped Vivi and I put the house back together.

Since Trouble has let me know time and time again that he would like to be more than friends. And I have let him know time and time again that I just can't risk losing him if it didn't work out. Selfish on my part - perhaps. But it's the truth, I value his friendship to much. When Edward left it was Jacob that Bella turned to. X was no Edward by any means but Trouble was the one that when I feared being alone came over and watched movies with me and kept me company.

He promises me that I will never lose him, a promise that even thru some difficult situations he has kept. Our friendship has survived a lot over the years. But at least monthly he brings up the possibility of "us". Just last week he sent the message, "Unlike you I think we would be good together."

He is not as serious as Jacob, I don't think, thank goodness. But like Bella I to love my Jacob. He will always hold a place in my heart, I'm just afraid it'll never be the place he would like to hold.

Sucks that is the way it is. Because I to have been Jacob. Having feelings for a friend you know only sees you as a friend. I mean haven't we all? Ah the complications of life and love.

Ok.... Enough rambling got to get back to Eclipse, 200 pages to go.

"It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother."
~ Jacob Black, Eclipse ~


jwriter said...

I want to start reading the Twilight books I love vampire stuff. Anyway yeah it is always hard to make a decision to date a friend, but we date strangers and we give them a try. I say do what feels right and if maintaining your friendship feels better than persuing a relationship then do just that.

Then again can we ever fully trust our feelings?

I've had some experiences with dating my friends. Some of them worked out and we remained friends after the break up, while others ended in we were never friends to begin with, while still others we are stuck in the nexus of maybe we are friends???? I'm confused now lol.

I guess you were writing this just to equate the Twilight to Singlelight corny (lol), but I think in dating there are always risks. (Do we take them?)

Date Girl said...

Awww, loved this post. I'm a fellow obsessed Twilight fan. Just wait till you read Breaking Dawn! Eee!!!

I felt sorry for Jacob too, and I've definitely been there. I think at one point we've all been a Jacob or had a Jacob in our lives. But as great as Trouble is, you have to listen to your gut on this one. You love him as a friend, nothing more. I tried to date my Jacob, and it ended in disaster. We're still friendly, but we will never ever be what we were. Don't risk that closeness when you know in your heart you see him more as a brother than as a soulmate.

So@24 said...



Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Another one has fallen...