It was late. I was already asleep. X had fallen asleep on the couch and I was awoken to his cell phone going off in the other room. I ignored it. I was snuggled warmly in the bed. As soon as the phone stopped ringing the home phone started ringing. Groggily I looked at the clock it was well after midnight. The caller id showed who it was and I assumed the late night call was because he was needing a DD. In my still half asleep state I reached for the phone. "Hello......." At the first words I was instantly awake and screaming for X. He appeared by the bedside worry evident on his face from my sudden outburst. As tears streamed down my face, unable to talk I handed him the phone. Fully awake now I had one thing on my mind as I rushed to my closet and threw on the first clothes I could get my hands on. Not carrying if I matched, hell I didn't even care if they were clean or dirty.
From the other room I heard the beep as X hung up the phone. It immediately rang again. In a small town news travels fast. As I sit here reliving that night all the emotions come back and I fight to hold the tears from spilling over.
A deer had jumped out in the road she had swerved to miss it, the front tire of the car going off the road. To avoid the ditch and the bank she had jerked the wheel, a natural reaction. The car flipped and went over the bank. As the driver she was ok. The two passengers were not. All three friends of mine, all to young to be called to heaven.
The driver was life lighted. I wanted to go to the hospital. I had to be there for her. I was told not to come. A decision that at the time was backed up by sound reasoning, but one I regret to this day. I should have went. I sat up all night fielding phone calls and questions. Waiting on the call that would tell me that this wreck would not claim the lives of all three friends. I mourned for the two already called home and prayed for the third to be allowed to stay a little longer.
A year later and the memories are still fresh. I remember her advice, her fun stories, the way she took care of me at a party when I had had to much to drink, and the way she always made anyone that was around her happy.
Tonight my friends I will gather to remember these two friends that left us all to soon. To be thankful for the times we had with them. But still the questions will go unspoken: "Why them?", "Why did it happen?", and the question that I know will cross one of my best friends mind "Why was I allowed to live and not them?" That is the hardest one of all. We are coming together to let her know we love her and we need her. I can only imagine what she is going thru.
(names have been left out of this post intentionally. God works in mysterious ways. Ways in which we may never understand. May they rest in peace.)
2 comments:
Life is definitely too short.
wow. I'm so sorry for you loss. I lost two friends my freshmen year of college (They were driving home from boston to nc and were rear ended and sent into a tree by a drunk driver who said when he came forward three months later that he thought they were fine in a car towed away in three pieces.) What I can tell you is that this, even a year later, is a time when you need friends. But that it would get easier over time. You will forget the pain and remember the good more and more. I'm sure this is what you hear many times, but I hope that one more person saying it helps.
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