TMI Thursday ~ Bedroom Edition

Welcome to another TMI Thursday, where I step out of my shy box and tell you information you'd probably rather not know.

So this past weekend Marine and I got in a little tiff..... more like debate.

It was silly. I don't even remember what it was about.

Ok, that's a lie. I'm like an elephant. I remember everything.

It was silly though.

We resolve the misunderstanding and are laying in bed watching American Pickers. Ever watched this show? It's GREAT!

Well its a little after 11 and I'm starting to drift off.

Marine leans over and kisses me. It's clear what his mind is on and where he see's these kisses going.

"I'm not in the mood."

He leans up and looks at me with an utter look of surprise on his face that can be seen from the light coming from the TV.

"I knew you were still mad!"

"I'm not mad. It's not like I have a switch that can just be flipped on and off."

"Seems I flipped it off awfully easy," he mutters laying back down beside me with his arm around me.

I laugh as I snuggle down beside him.

He rolls onto his side wrapping his other arm around me. "I thought women couldn't start withholding sex till after they were married......." He ponders.

Ross: Well, yeah. I can't... I can't stay here all night, and if I go in there she's... she's gonna wanna... do stuff.

Rachel: Can't you just tell her that you are not in the mood?

Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesn't work either, I can't tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
Rachel: Ooohhh...
Ross: Ooohhh, okay! Yeah, why am I telling you that?
Rachel: I don't know.

~ Friends ~

TMI Thursday ~ Pure Romance Vibe

Aahhh it's time for another session of TMI Thursday. A post in which you will probably wish you wouldn't have read and I'll pretend like I never wrote. {Thanks Lilu for opening the door for me to embarrass myself for a purpose!}

A couple weeks ago I wrote this post about attending a Pure Romance party and received several comments wanting to know what exactly it was I purchased cause if you remember a previous post on a similar topic I was a total prude........

 ***LAST WARNING TMI AHEAD***

There I sat squished comfortably on the love seat with Giggles and Vixen. 

Giggles seemed intent listening to all the informative information the lady was saying; Vixen on the other hand was taking each vibrator that came her way, turning it on high and messing with the other settings. Then passing each to me along with her opinions on them.

Need I mention we were actually marking in the book with stars next to the products we liked. 

And then I hear "eeeeewwwwww".

I stop messing with the edible cream I have in hand and turn to Vixen. 

"Hold your hand out," she instructs. 

I hold my hand out and she slips the ring around it and then presses the button on the remote she has in hand.

We know have Giggles full attention as well.

"Nice," I nod my head.

"Wait for it...." She presses another button.

The vibrator has kicked into high gear. 

"Wow," I have no other words.

It's turned off and we all three make marks in our books next to the Jelly C-Ring ~ "the ultra-soft Jelly C-Ring with seven {SEVEN} revolutionary variations of pulsating vibration..."

To pleasure him and her according to the Pure Romance Lady and from what my hand felt I think I can vouch to the accuracy of her statement.

I was sold.

The only one of the three of us brave enough to order it. Yeah me! Who'd have thought?!

Six months of no sex will make you think outside the box apparently.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Side note: After reading Simone over at Skinny Dip's post about the We-Vibe I went into this party with the idea I'd buy something for Marine and I (I mean what better way to say HAPPY HOMECOMING). The We-Vibe sounded interesting so I was bummed at her bad review of it. But also totally amazed cause I didn't know such things existed.

I think I'm becoming less of a shy prude. 

Miranda: "What's the big deal? In 50 years men are gonna be obsolete anyway. I mean, already you can't talk to them, you don't need them to have kids with, you don't need them to have sex with anymore, as I've very pleasantly discovered."

Samantha: "Uh oh, sounds like somebody just got their first vibrator."

Miranda: "Not first, ultimate. And I think I'm in love."

~ Sex and the City ~

Pure Romance

Friday night I met Giggles after work and headed to Nurse-Betty's house for a Pure Romance party.

Ever been to one?

Over the years I have been to several but this was by far the best yet!

I sat crammed on the lush love-seat with Vixen and Giggles each of us inspecting the items being passed around.

Let me tell ya this party sure would have come in handy a few months back and would have perhaps aided me in making a wiser decision.

I wasn't as embarrassed as I had expected to be, perhaps 6 months of no sex will do that to ya.

The only thing that would have made the party more fun would have been cocktails  [no pun intended].

My at the selection! Oils, Lotions, Lip Glosses, Books, Games, Toys.... the list is endless.

Behind a closed door the orders were placed.

Like we really weren't going to tell each other what we ordered.

After placing our orders Giggles, Vixen and I left and went to our favorite Mexican restaurant for a late diner. We are barely seated when Vixen blurts out, "So what did ya'll order?!"

Giggles and I laugh and we wait as the waiter sets down the salsa and chips and takes our drink order.

Giggles tells us of her less than risqué purchase.

Vixen looks at me and without even blushing I tell them.

"OH MY GOSH!!! I can't believe you ordered that............ I was actually curious about that one." Vixen admits.

"Me to!" exclaims Giggles, "I can't believe you ordered it."

I shrug, "I think it'll be a good homecoming gift for Marine."

Vixen, "Uh yeah!" She munches on a chip, "when did you become the adventurous one of us?"

"I think around month four," I say with a laugh.

TMI ~ It Could Happen

In a phone conversation with Marine.....

E: "I think my virginity is growing back."

Marine laughing, "Well that's good."

TMI Thursday ~ Dirty Laundry Anyone?

The setting: Olive Garden

The cast: Me, Babbles, and random Girlfriend

The subject: Babbles's 50ish year old, single mother.

Babbles, "So my mother's washing machine is broke and she's been bringing clothes over to my house to wash them. We are sitting in the living room and I hear the machine go off. I get up and head for the laundry room to throw them in the dryer."

Girlfriend and I are waiting, not seeing anything traumatic about this situation yet.

Babbles continues, "I'm pulling towels out of the washing machine and putting them on the dryer when what should fall on the floor?......"

Girlfriend, "What?"

Babbles, "A CONDOM!!!"

**Shriek***--------------- **GASP** ------------ **hysterical laughter**!!!!!

Me catching my breath, "A new condom."

Babbles, "Oh no... it was used!"

More laughter.

Girlfriend, "How do you know?"

Babbles, "How do I know? What do you mean 'how do I know?' How the hell do you think I know! There was a condom stretched out on my laundry room floor!"

Me, "Did you find a wrapper?"

Babbles, "No!"

Girlfriend, "Were forgetting the most important question here......." She looks around at us, "Who did the condom belong to?"

Babbles, "I don't know!"

Me, "You didn't ask?"

Babbles, "Hell no I didn't ask!"

Me, "Well what did you do?"

Babbles, "I threw it away!"

Girlfriend, "Why didn't you ask?"

She gives us a deadpan look, "Because I don't want to know."

Girlfriend and I in unison, "WE DO!"

Babbles, "Well I didn't want to hear about her sex life."

Girlfriend, "I'm going to ask her."

Babbles, "You go right ahead. You deal with her."

More laughter.

I will never wash towels without laughing again.

TMI Thursday ~ The Pink One

Ok..... I can't believe I'm about to do this.

Yes you read it right. I have chosen to participate in my first and probably last TMI Thursday.

Now like everybody, I have more of these stories than you would ever want to know. SO consider this your fair warning ~ if you don't want to know, stop reading now. Come back tomorrow. And those that continue to read; please don't judge me.

At 27 *ahem, ahem*, I mean 26 round 2, I have never owned a personal toy (PT)- my polite way of saying vibrator.

Let's face it, I'm an uptight bitch that:

1) would not have a clue what do it with it if I had one

and

2) I've never needed one

Well let's just focus on the first reason.

Marine being the loving fiancée that he is.... added to his list of things to do before he left - Buy E a PT.

So while up for deployment week we visited an adult store.

You think this would be an easy decision.

In and out.............. (maybe I should have went with a different choice of words).

OMG!! Row, after row of PT's. Different shapes, sizes, colors. You name it.

And Marine has to look at every single one of them determined, despite my embarrassment, to pick out the one that will be perfectly suited for me. Even though he is just as clueless as I am but I refuse to let him ask the salesgirl for help. Which I am nearly sure he would have.

Marine, "Which one do you like?"
Me not really looking, "I don't know..."

"How bout this one?"

A funny look.

"This one?" he tries again.

Another skeptical look...

"Well let's ask and see which one they sell the most of."

"NO!!! This one will work. This one is good."

You get the picture. See told you up tight bitch. That's me.

Finally I take a deep breath and realize that:

1) The lady behind the counter and the sales girl are not secretly taking our picture and posting it online for the world to see.

2) I am in a different state - the chances of running into someone I know is non-existent

3) I need to learn to not be so uptight

So with a deep breath I finally decide to act like the mature 26-round-2-year-old that I am and with my wonderful fiancée embrace this hopefully once in a life time moment.

He has narrowed it down to three. Me knowing nothing about this type of shopping pick the pink one.

Yes I based this decision solely on color.

The other choices were purple and silver. Neither one very eye appealing.

But at the time I told myself that it would never be used anyway -- it would be stashed in my underwear drawer from here to eternity, and it would make Marine happy to think that I would be taken care of during those lonely nights in his absence.

Curiosity however got the best of me. We will just leave it at that.

Like loosing your virginity, the first time is always awkward. Because you really don't know what your doing.

Let's just say I understand why the variety now.

Carrie, "I'm not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device."

Miranda, "You haven't met 'The Rabbit.' "

Samantha, "Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called 'The Horse.' ”

~ Sex and the City ~

{ This quote cracks me up!! Makes me think of Giggles less famous Quote }