The Girl Who Cried Love

 Carrie: When it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses, and shouldn't throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than Butterflies... 

~ Sex and the City ~

We've all heard the classic story of the boy who cried wolf but what about the girl who cried love? It to is a classic story, one that most are sure to of heard.

Currently I am experiencing it with one of my friends. She got out of a relationship, moved and was doing her own version of starting over. 

Yet every guy she meets she falls head over heals for. The first one I was all supportive about with my "everything happens for a reason" philosophy. 

That short lived relationship ended and she started seeing another guy. Same thing - instant love. 

At this point I think she has a love bug stuck in her clothes that keeps biting her. 

Guy number 2 makes it about a month or so and then the love bug's spell wears off and she ends the relationship.

This pattern has been repeated pretty consistently for almost a year now - to the point I'm thinking about sending her a can of bug spray to zap that dang love bug with (well maybe not zap but at least stun). 

I am a hopeless romantic and I want her to meet someone and be happy, but the latest guy, Mr. Fresh-21, is probably not it.

Each one she says "this time is different...."

Famous last words.


When thinking of this the Carrie quote above came to mind. Are we at the age that some are willing to settle just in hopes of not being left behind? I mean we are in PRIME childbearing years - as my friends and I are reminded quite often. 


My advice never settle for anything less than butterflies. You may have to kiss a lot of frogs but eventually you will find your prince. You just have to be brave enough to put yourself out there. Go on the dates. Take the chance of getting your heart broke. Learn from the mistakes. Remember the lessons you learn and keep moving forward. 


But never settle. 


Even though my friend may have a case of annoying love bug at least she's taking the chance. 


Now if I can just get her to ease up on the crying love part........

The Playing Field

So before going to bed most normal people make sure that they have set the coffee pot or something. I make sure that I have a Dr. Pepper in the refrigerator so it will be cold the next morning.

That has no relevance to the rest of the post. Just a fun fact I thought I would toss out there - because that is what I did last night before going to bed.

Wednesday has become my favorite day of the week. For one it means the week is half over, but more importantly it is usually the day Marine gets to call.

This morning at 6 a.m. my phone goes off and I nearly fall out of the bed trying to answer it. I don't wake up gracefully.

From the other end comes Marine's voice and for 20 minutes life is wonderful.

Sappy right?

Hate to tell you, you've got 7 more months of sappy (or 6 hopefully *fingers crossed*).

It was great just to hear his voice. But so many things to say that 20 minutes a week is not nearly enough. But we make do as I recap things from here; only telling the positive things. No sense telling him the 4runner is making a new funny noise. No need for him to worry.

For anyone else going thru deployment that is reading this the number one piece of advice I would like to give is: stay positive.

Don't tell your loved one of problems at home that he can not solve. After you have solved the problem then you can tell him about it if you must. But don't send a letter telling him of the problem unless you are also telling him you have solved it.

Marine has enough going on, he doesn't need to worry about me also.

Have I mentioned how great he is?

Well I'm sure you've heard my bitch/moaning/venting about being broke? And that my hours were cut back at work? And that I've picked up a 2nd job that doesn't pay as much but hey every little bit helps?

If not.... well that pretty much sums it up.

Like everyone in America money is tight.

And Marine and I are trying to save for the Wedding.

Before he left we opened a joint checking account and set it up on auto-deposit so that we both transfer so much money into it a month.

About a month ago Roomie's wife (Marine's roommate on base's wife) invited me to Vegas for her birthday in July. I've never been to Vegas and would love to go. But last I checked round trip flight was $350. Which is embarrassingly almost more than I make in a week now with the cut hours.

Marine: "So are you flying out for Roomie's wifes birthday?"

Me: "Tickets are to expensive... I'm going to keep checking and if I can find a cheap flight I would like to go."

Marine: "You should go, you need to go do something fun. Take money out of the joint account and buy a ticket."

Me: "No I'm not going to do that!"

Marine: "Why not?"

Me: "Because you are putting more money than I am into that account and I'm not spending your money."

Marine: "It's our money. Besides I'm over here for 7 months. It's not like I'm spending any money. It's ok if you splurge. Besides I think it would be good for you and Roomie's wife to get together."

Me: "We'll see."

And I change the subject.

When in a relationship I like to be equals. On an equal playing field.

But what happens when your not? What happens when you are still haunted by the past that you can't seem to get rid of?

Marine is very money smart. Quite the little saver.

Yep, I used to be like that, and one day I plan on being so again. But I am still paying off debt from X. Now I can't blame my debt on him entirely but I can at least a good 85% of it.

Why am I responsible for the debt of the relationship and X left squeaky clean? Because sometimes its worth it to get rid of them.

Marine knows about my debt and I hope to have it paid off before we get married. But with baby showers, and four close friends getting married within the next 6 months (three of which I am in) - the debt pay off plan has taken a major hit.

So saying that I am tight when it comes to spending money is putting it a little mildly.

I appreciated Marine's offer to pay for the plane ticket. But at the same time I don't want him to pay for it - I want to be able to on my own.

What do you think?

Relationships and love are blind, so they say. I love Marine and I know he loves me despite my flaws and imperfections. But I don't want my past to affect my future. I want us to be on an equal field.

But then I guess in away you never really are. One partner will always make more money than the other (more than likely).

So now it's your turn to weigh in: Vegas or no Vegas?

Rachel: (Picking up the phone) Hello? Vegas? Yes, we would like some more alcohol, and you know, we would like some more beers too... hello? Oh wait... I forgot to dial. (There is a knock at the door)

Ross: That must be our alcohol and beers

~ Friends ~

Dating..... In The Dark?

"When it comes to men… how do we end up in the dark?"

~ Carrie's Diary ~

I have listened to Date Girl and Phoebe talk about the new ABC show Dating in the Dark. So curiosity got the better of me (I mean dating in the dark??) so with nothing better to do I pulled up ABC online and proceeded to watch the first episode.

I admit I laughed and even though "what the hell" did cross my mind a time or two overall it was an interesting show. I mean you get to know someone completely in the dark. You learn their likes, their dislikes, and general information about them. Then at the end of the show the lights come on and you see the other person. From their you can decided if you would wish to date them after the show.

Interesting idea.

But what if you have a great connection and then you see the person and their is just ZERO attraction. What do you do? If you admit that it makes you appear shallow and superficial.

Could you walk away? Or if you had a great connection with someone would you go out with them even if you weren't attracted to them physically? Something to think about......

How It Should Be

I have really been thinking a lot lately about how sometimes some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. I am sure we have all had things we have prayed about; situations we wanted resolved, second chances we wished we had, or just for something (sometimes just anything) to happen. The prayers go unanswered and we are at times so short sighted that we just don't understand why. But as times passes we look back and we understand why they were not answered and we are so thankful that they weren't.

Marine arrived at the house last night just a little after midnight. As he took me in his arms and kissed me as he crawled into bed beside me I for one was very grateful for unanswered prayers. We laid awake and talked. Yeah we talk every night on the phone for hours so you think we would have nothing to talk about, but perhaps some stories are just better in person (I mean you got to have your hands to really get the point across lol).

It was perfect. I didn't want to go to sleep. I didn't want to miss a minute of what is sure to be a short weekend. This morning as I got ready for work and he got ready to go get his hair cut and run errands... ~~~~ wait and let me interrupt here for a moment. It is so unfair that guys can get ready in no time! I mean I'm not high maintenance nor do I wear a lot of make up, but seriously I am blow drying my hair this morning and he is already ready laying on the bed watching TV. I am only on the 2nd stage of the morning process, after I blow dry my hair I still have to straighten it and throw on what little make up I do wear. Yeah Guys have it so easy.....~~~~~ Ok anyway where was I? Oh yeah. We were getting ready and I was thinking "wow I really don't want to leave him." And then after thinking this a wave of shock rolls over me. I don't think I have ever had that thought. I mean I very much like my "ME" time. Not that work is ME time but you know I get up in the morning and in certain instances I was always kinda glad to go. Even with Big, leaving avoiding any discussion of where we stood or what was to come next. I mean heck some mornings I would slip out while he was still asleep ~ a fact that I never really acknowledged till here recently.

Marine is different than any type of relationship I have ever been in. In a good way of course. But you know I think that I had to go thru all the bad to really appreciate it. As we get ready to leave we hug bye at the door. "I really don't want to leave you," He says. I can't help but smile as I admit I feel the same way.

He's coming to meet me for lunch and then I'll see him after work. So won't be to bad. He is so nice and considerate and all the things I really didn't think a guy could be. I thought guys like that were a myth. A fairy tale to keep young girls hoping for love but I guess I never really believed it existed.

It makes me sorry that I settled for less in the past. But then again if I hadn't would I really appreciate all the little things now? Honestly, probably not.

Yeah I think I'm finally in a relationship where things are how they should be (hopefully not jinxing myself!!!)

"I've heard that it's possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope."

~ Dr. Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy ~

In The Beginning

In the beginning it's all butterflies and bliss; Smiles are abundant and time seems to drag by till the next time you get to speak to your new found interest....... I forgot how great the beginning of a new romance could.



It has been two weeks since Marine2 arrived unexpectedly at the horse show. I have seen him the past two weekends but will not see him again till the first weekend in August.



Yet everynight around the same time he calls and I lay in bed laughing and talking to him for hours. Till the point I don't want to get off the phone but know that I have to go to bed.



I am reminded of High School. Remember? Right around the time you turn 15 and you get a boyfriend. But neither of you can drive so you can't really "go out" - all you can do is talk on the phone. Yeah that is us.



This will be my first attempt at a long distance what-ever-you-call-it (Not sure I'm quite ready to label it relationship). So far so good. But what happens when we run out of stuff to talk about? What happens when the 2 hour conversations turn into 10 minute conversations that are then followed by silence? IS this only working for us because it's new? I hope not because I really do like him.



I know that some of you (my blog friends) are currently in long distance relationships and I would love to hear some tips/advice/pointers....... anything about how you make it work.



Come on don't be shy!

1 - +1 = 0 ?

"Why does one - minus a plus one - always feels like it adds up to zero?"

Carrie's Diary

My math skills may leave something to be desired but I completely get the equation {1 - +1 = 0} I once heard the saying plus one is the loneliest number and perhaps that may be true. The past two weekends I have had weddings to attend. Weddings where the invitation reads: E and Guest and guest. Look to the left.... look to the right....... nope no Guest in sight. Just me.

I'm ok with it just being me but when you show up to a couples type event like a wedding you can't help but feel at odds when you are there alone. The only advantage of this rule is that more than likely there will also be dateless guys there to who will be just as relieved as you are to see that you are not the only one without a date. Or at least that was my experience at the first wedding. Even though I had WD ~ I mean lets face it he was trying to hook up with the other out of town bridesmaid much to all of our amusement ~ there were other guys there that were also dateless. Which ended up being fine because we danced all night. One guy in particular became my unspoken dance partner. As we twirled around the makeshift dance floor I remember feeling thankful. I love to dance, even though let's call a spade a spade, I'm probably to much of a klutz to dance. But hey after a few beers I no longer really care and my rhythem seems to improve... It was also nice to slow dance. And my dance partner was cute, but like most guys that hit on my lately was way to young to be considered an actual prospect.

The wedding this past weekend I attended with Blondie ~ Fortunately (or unfortunately) her boyfriend had to work. This wedding was paired off more in couples rarely a single person in sight. After the ceremony we didn't linger. I had a barrel race to attend after all.

So even though as a single girl I am happy with myself why do I feel that +1 equals 0? We should not let ourselves be defined by weather we have a significant other or not. Yet you can't help when you get that invitation your mind goes through the list of everyone you know hoping that maybe you can get someone (hell anyone) to go as your date. Why is it that weddings and office functions make us long to have a +1?

Can a Relationship Bring You Back to Life?

In a search of a topic to write about I visited Carrie's diary in search of a question that I felt I may have the answer to. I may start doing this as a weekly column.... Of course it's just my opinion..... Anyway as I searched thru the questions I stumbled upon one of interest, "Can a relationship bring you back to life?" As soon as I read the question I knew my own personal answer. In fact several months back I wrote a short story that basically answered this question.......

Everyone had always said she lived in her own little bubble. And that was ok with her. But as he stood before her and she looked into his eyes she realized how naive she really was. Here before her was a man who had seen so many things that she couldn’t even imagine. His eyes held countless stories of tragedies and sorrow. As he told her of a call he had worked the previous night she felt a wave of sadness wash over her. A young boy still in high school had been driving down the road minding his own business. Never realizing his life was about to change. Then before him a figure appeared in the middle of the road. He slammed on the breaks. It was to late to stop; there was nowhere to swerve. Another young boy, to young to die, had been walking in the middle of the road for no apparent reason. Maybe it was his time to go, but at fifteen she thought it was way to soon.

As he recounted the story to her she could hear the melancholy in his voice. She longed to hug him and hold him close. His eyes had seen so many lives taken all to soon. At the same time he had also saved lives of those God was not yet ready to call home. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like to rush into a burning building; the adrenaline pumping threw your body, your eyes stinging from the smoke. Or to be called to the scene of a car wreck where you try to save the lives of those within but knowing in your heart it’s to late. He was modest, rarely being one to talk about work and the calls he ran. He was a hero whether he wanted to admit it or not. An everyday hero that many people took for granite. She knew it must take a special person to do his line of work and that made him all the more special to her.

She wondered if he realized that he had saved her as well. It was not as obvious. There was no emergency call, no fire, no accident. In away he had saved her from herself. She had been unhappy for so long. So long that she forgot what it was like to really smile; not the fake smile she kept up for the world, but to really smile out of genuine happiness. He had brought her back to life. Opened her eyes again to the beautiful world around them. To some he may appear to be just your average guy, but she knew better he was hero.

As I'm sure you can guess I wrote this story about Fire Guy and to him I will forever be grateful. Even though things didn't work out he helped bring me back to life. He helped me to see that nice guys do exist. I guess he gave me hope and helped me to see why things did not work out with X. So yes, with a huge breath of fresh air I do think a relationship can bring you back to life.

"Today I had a thought. What if I... what if I had never met you?"

~ Carrie, SATC ~