That Magic Moment When The World Stopped

The moment Marine took me in his arms was nothing short of magical.

I cannot begin to put into words all the emotions I felt.

211 days had passed since our last embrace but nothing had changed. Any doubts or fears about that had all been erased when I first caught glimpse of his blue eyes and cute smile.  

Funny I had been so worried about not spotting him at homecoming, a common fear many have, but my being so short had added to my worry. As soon as he stepped foot in the door we locked eyes. I'm not sure how he found me so fast or how I spotted him so quickly but once I spotted him I couldn't take my eyes off him. 

Me, Marine, Marine-Sis, Marine-Mom

After grabbing his bags we were off to the hotel. It was nearly 4:30 am by the time we made it to the beautiful room I had booked for this special night. Needless to say the champagne went untouched. 

The night wasn't really what you'd expect..... don't get me wrong there was passion..... but it was more than that. We lay in bed for hours just holding each other close and talking. Catching up on all the things the other had missed. 

It almost didn't seem real. I couldn't believe that he was actually there and part of me didn't want to go to sleep for fear I'd wake up and realize it had all been a dream. 

We did manage to get a few hours sleep before we got up and prepared to start the day. We were meeting the family and Roommate and his family at Red Robin. That had been both the guys request as their first meal back. And it did not disappoint!

Roommates-Wife and I had long since made friends but it was nice to meet the rest of their family and for Marine-Mom and Roommate-Mom to finally meet.

[In case your new: Roommate is Marine's roommate at the barracks and they have been together for over three years now. They deployed to Iraq together and now Afghanistan --- basically their BFF]

The rest of the day passed in a blur; going here and there trying to spend time with his family while they were up.

Marine1's unit arrived in late Friday night (early Saturday morning). His mom had rode up with Marine-Mom so Saturday we all spent the day together along with Roommate and Roommate-Wife. We traveled up the coast to what we thought was a small seafood festival but which turned out to be THE Seafood Festival.

A street along the water with tents as far as the eye could see.

Tents were filled with wonderful seafood and others filled with artwork and other crafts. 

We passed a riverfront bar where the sounds of a live band tempted us to enter. 

The mom's continued from tent to tent while we took a break and a had a drink.

Marine, Me, Roommate-Wife, Roommate, & Marine1

Of course while at the festival we had to sample some of the yummy food. BEST SHRIMP I HAVE EVER EATEN. Hands down. 

Marine went with Shrimp Tacos which were also delicious!

It was a great way to spend a Saturday with the family.

I won't lie though at this point Marine and I were both looking forward to some us time. At this point we had had very little.

Saturday night we went to diner at the restaurant of Marine1's choosing. Of course he chose Japannesse, which was to be expected.  

Yes, it seemed like all we had done was eat at this point.....

The rain had finally ceased but the flood water damage had not -- so Marine and I had some dilemma when it came to where we were staying.....

Sometimes if it weren't for bad luck we'd have no luck {but that story will come later}. 

But that was fine by us as long as we were back together. 

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

~ Unknown ~

Back To Blogging ~ Starting At The Beginning

So I have decided to participate in the SITS Back to Blogging Event. Not that I actually think I have a shot at winning the prize -

Thelma and Louise ~ Washer and Dryer from Electrolux

But more so because I liked the topics and thought it might be fun to look back over the past few years since I started this blog.

On July 29, 2008 I created this blog and posted my first post: 

Welcome

Hello, and welcome all to my version of Sex and the City. That is if Carrie was 25, divorced, starting a new job, and had no clue where her life was going. I have always wanted to write and during this time in my life I have decided to take the cards life has handed me and write about them anonymously in hopes of entertaining people with the twists my life is taking. Most events I write about will be true, however I am reserving the right to take a creative license and embellish a little so as to make them more entertaining. And some events may not be what I did but what instead I wish I would have done. Which posts are fact and which are fiction? That will be for you to decide. So here is to a new chapter in life....

HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm sorry I laugh just re-reading this!

I would like to be able to say that I have used "creative license" or "embellished" but nope. Sorry, everything I've written has been how it happened. I think I really only threw these fancy words in to cover my butt in case my secret-anonymous-blog was ever discovered. Kinda like my own personal built in escape clause.

And "writing about what I wish I would have done" --- again nope. Looking back there are a few posts I wish I could rewrite with what I SHOULD have done. Most of those would have went much like this.....

Mr. Big----> Not a good idea. It never was and never will be. Run like hell and don't look back. Period.

Marine1 -----> Not a good idea. You know it. But there's another Marine out there that's perfect for you!!

Fire Guy ----> He will one day be your brother-in-law and you will pretend like this time in your life never existed. Enjoy the friendship but be glad/thankful it never turns into anything more.

(Mis)Adventures ----> Some of these may not bring about the best memories while others can bring a smile to your face just recalling them. Fun times with friends you'll never regret.

What an Adventure it has been in starting over.

   ~~~~~~~~~

Join me and participate in this SITS Back to Blogging Event.

{ The sponsors of this great event: Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances }

Eclipse, Parade, Family & Fireworks

So lets see.... what has happened since I last wrote?

I went out with the girls Thursday night and saw Eclipse. I think that this may have been my favorite of the books and the movie did not disappoint. Now was it as good as the book? No - but they never are.

And Jacob.... my oh my..... we love for you to run around shirtless!

Bella really aggravates me sometimes though. I mean here she is your average girl next door and she is lucky enough to have two great guys in love with her (minus the fact one is a vampire and one is a werewolf). Yet she drags them both along. Or I should say she drags Jacob along. It made me feel sorry for him. She doesn't want him and he knows it but he keeps hanging on hoping that she will change her mind, and she keeps him hanging on knowing full well he will never be more than a back-up plan.

I think we have all been there, done that playing one of those roles during our teenage years.

Friday evening I had an unexpected phone-date with Marine. He had woken up early so while everyone else slept he was able to use the phone. Still hard for me to get used to the time difference and as I watched the sun set on my day, he was watching the sun rise on a new day for him. It was wonderful to get to actually talk longer than the average 15 minute phone calls we have become so accustomed to. We were able to talk about an hour before he had to go.

Saturday was family day. I got to Marine's grandparents house around 4 for the cookout. It's funny how I used to be so nervous about going to family functions without Marine and now I am completely comfortable (but still ready for him to be home to be able to go with me!). Marine's family is great and I enjoyed visiting with his grandparents, aunt and uncle, cousin's and of course Marine-Mom, Marine-Stepdad and Marine-Sis.

After cooking out we headed to town to walk in the 4th of July Parade. There had been an ad in the local paper inviting family members of active military to walk in the parade. Marine-Mom had asked if I would like to walk with them. So Marines family, myself and Marine1's mom all walked.

It was a hot day and this was the first parade I had been in where I had not rode Horse. But it was fun and despite how much this would have probably embarrassed my modest Marine, it was nice.

(I'm the one with the blue circle with white star) 

Friday night when on the phone with Marine I told him we were going to walk in the parade.

Marine, "well if that makes you happy."

I laugh and tell him, "I'm going to wear my I heart Marine (replace Marine with his real name) shirt."

Silence.

So not getting my joke.

"I'm just kidding!" lol "I would never embarrass you like that." I laugh telling him.

"I highly doubt that." He laughs.

After the parade I headed a horse show and took Marine-Sis along with me.

It's that time again. Week of the Horse. Little over one week. Every night horse show. It started Friday night and will end this Saturday night. Last year I went every single night. It was exhausting! This year I'm not as hardcore. Also I have to work and lets face it, it gets expensive showing every night.

So this year I plan on just doing a few nights. Mom, Marine-Sis and I visited with Vixen and Vixen's Lil Sis and other members of my saddle club. From where we sat watching the show we were able to watch the fireworks in the distance.

There's just always something magical about fireworks. Makes you feel like a kid again as you watch them with wonder and amazement.

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.  

~ Elmer Davis ~

It Could Always Be Worse

Wow! TMI Thursday was hit! That one post has received more hits than any other post I've ever written; just showing that people really like to hear the nitty-gritty, embarrassing stuff. Cause let's face it, reading about something stupid someone else did makes us feel a little bit better about ourselves.

You know it's true.

In the past two days I have received two phone calls from Marine - a sure sign that it will be awhile before I get another. It's amazing how happy a simple phone call can you make you. Marine is as good as can be given the situation. But then Marine doesn't really tell me anything. Something about the more you know the more you will worry --- his theory anyway. Which may be true. But really I'm going to worry regardless, so at least give me the cold hard facts.

That is where Marine1 comes in. Marine1 is the go to source for information, because for a big macho guy he likes gossip just as much as any girl I know. Well maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but you get the picture.

So here is my news travel channel.

And this is only part of the network that I have found myself a part of. So really Marine, you don't stand a chance. lol

One of the guys was in a situation this last week that turned out ok, but it could have easily went the other way and not been ok. Marine1 during a call to his mom told her, who in turn called Marine-Mom, who in turn called me. The information stopped at me - seeing I'm the reasoning one of the three of us. Marine1 wasn't even 100% sure of the information so no need to pass it on and worry others needlessly.

Turns out the information was accurate.

This guy does not want his significant other to know about the situation, which puts me between a rock and a hard place. If it were me I would want to know. But at the same time its not my news to tell. Marine was aggravated that Marine1 told in the first place.

I of course tell him I'm just glad everyone is alright and remain calm, letting him know that I'm not going to freak out and go hysterical. He's pretty lucky that I'm so level-headed.

Then I try to lift his spirits by telling him funny stories from home and of things I have planned for when he returns home.

Always end on a good note.

That is a tip my Dad always said when training young horses. Its important to always end on a good note.

I think this is valuable advice, so I apply it to other aspects of life.

It was wonderful to hear his voice, and wonderful to catch up at least for a few minutes. While talking he sounds so positive.

I laugh, "you can be honest, it sucks. I know. It's ok if you say it."

I can hear the smile in his voice, "Well when I think it's bad I always think of you saying that it could always be worse."

"That's funny when I'm having a bad day here I always think about you and that you have it 100 times worse and then my day doesn't seem so bad....." I tell him jokingly.

He laughs and I can picture him smiling and shaking his head at me.

Gosh I miss him.

Time Flies When Your With The One You Love

The Date: Friday February 26th.

The Time: Late

I arrived on base and Marine and I headed to our beach lodge. We laughed at the small size, some things just always look larger online. Nothing could put a damper on our good moods though.

Saturday we awoke early and headed out to explore. We went to the next town north and explored the downtown streets that ran along the water. We ate a waterfront restaurant that I couldn't even tell you the name of, the open sign and the wonderful smell wafting down the street was all that was needed to draw us in. The crab dip appetizer was amazing along with the rest of our lunch.

After lunch we continued to walk around enjoying being tourists and not being in a rush. So much history in these southern waterfront towns. Old buildings all with plaques out front telling the story and history of the building.

We also saw a duck and a cat either enjoying each others company or having a stare down.... either way I had to take a picture. Because really how often do you see something like this?

After our downtown adventure we went to the local aquarium where we saw fish, fish, more fish, sharks, and baby sea turtles. It was a great afternoon. And an overall nice relaxing day.

That evening we met up with Roommate and Roommates wife and went to see Shutter Island. Weird movie. At first I wasn't sure I really liked it but on the ride back to the lodge Marine and I discussed the movie and the different twists, turns and "what ifs". The discussion made me like the movie better I think. I liked analyzing the different possibilities. I like movies that make you think.

Sunday was our lazy day. We literally did not get out of bed till after 2 p.m. -- which is so not like us!! Normally we are up and out the door by 9 at least, especially on a pretty day. But not today. I got up at 10 and took a shower. Marine was still in bed so I crawled back in and curled up next to him and drifted back off to sleep.

After being sick for the past couple of weeks, were were both finally feeling better. The sleep helped though and was very much needed!

Eventually we dragged ourselves out of bed and I made Marine take me down to the beach. Did I mention our lodge was right on the water? So pretty!!

I set up the tripod and made Marine pose with me for pictures and he also probably started regretting the fact they he ever gave me the tripod.

Either way we laughed and had fun as spent time on the beach. The sun was warm but the breeze was cool. A tease that Spring was soon to come. We walked along looking for sharks teeth. Rumor was they were easy to find on this beach.

As we walked I said I never found a sand dollar before. Two steps later Marine starts laughing. Right in front of us is a perfect Sand Dollar.

I mean really what are the odds??!

That evening we went to diner with Roommate and Roommate Wife. Then we headed back to the room for a game of cards and some drinks of course. The guys wanted to teach us how to play spades. We played a few games but Crown and Dr. Pepper + trying to learn a new card game = no such luck.

So we played a game of Battle of the Sexes. Of course Roommate Wife and I won! I mean really were there ever any doubts?!

Then we started playing P&A (president's and assholes) my all time favorite drinking game. We had so much fun.

Perhaps to much fun. When the alarm sounded the next morning (Monday) at 4:50 a.m. I still felt slightly intoxicated. Marine drug himself out of bed leaving me to sleep for another hour. This would be my last day of the week to sleep in, if you can call sleeping till six a.m. sleeping in.

We spent the morning tying up loose ends and adding me to mailing lists and signing me up for Marine Corps newsletters that I wanted to get while he's away.

Tuesday Marine had a surprise scheduled for us. Marine always seems to have some kind of surprise up his sleeve. Couple's Massages ~ Oh so wonderful!! And what a great surprise.

Deep tissue massage - perhaps the most enjoyable pain I have ever experienced.

Marine's family also arrived Tuesday along with Marine1's. So we all met for diner of sushi and Hibachi.

The week was already half way over. Time was going by to fast. But time always seems to fly when your with the one you love and having fun.

More to come....

The VDAY Flu

So the weekend didn't go like I had planned.

At all.

Not even in the least bit.

Ok well maybe a little bit, but mother nature sure did throw a big cog in the wheel.

What's with all the snow? Normally I love snow. But Friday with Marine driving home I was crossing my fingers and praying to the snow god's that the snow would hold off at least till he arrived home. Either they didn't hear me or they decided I that since I haven't seen him over a month and a half I could wait one more day. Either way the snow god's continued on there merry way sprinkling snow here and there and anywhere they saw the need.

Marine and Marine1 were able to make it a little over half way when the snow forced them to stop and rent a hotel room for the night.

Sigh..... there goes night 1 of the 96 { see how I'm learning military lingo? ☺}.

Marine arrived home Saturday afternoon. It was to late in the day and the roads were not clear enough for us to adventure out to look at wedding locations. Perhaps this was for the best - cause I mean picking a location for a summer wedding when there is snow on the ground? Really? Anybody see a slight problem with that, maybe? lol

Saturday evening the weather did not keep us indoors. We bundled up and headed out for diner with friends. Not everybody was able to make it, but there were still about 12 of us that gathered for drinks and a good diner. I could tell Marine was happy to see his friends, and I was happy that he has hit it off so well with Giggles's finance and Blondie's boyfriend.

Sunday we met with our Mom's and had lunch. This was the first time Marine's mom and mine had met. Lunch went great! The mom's got along (which we knew they would) and wedding talk was good and everyone seemed on the same page. Afterward the weather was still to bad to go in search of a location so instead we walked around downtown and checked out the antique stores and what not.

That evening we had already planned to eat diner at Marine's grandparents house with his family, so shortly after dark we headed that way.

I really like all of Marine's family. Diner was wonderful but shortly after diner Marine and excused ourselves to head home. We were both feeling sick. Marine had thought he was coming down with a cold and I was thinking he had given it to me as well.

On the way home we stopped by the store and stockpiled on medicine, Kleenex, juice, and a few movies.

I think my mom jinxed us. Friday night I was over at her house and after diner we were watching Two and a Half Men. The episode story line was that Charlie's fiance was sick..... very sick..... and very gross looking. I mean aren't we all kinda gross when sick?!

So my mom being the comedian she thinks she is asks if Marine has seen me gross.

At this point you know my life story so really what secrets do we have, I ask you. I am lactose intolerant. And I love, LOVE cheese. Which in turn doesn't love me.

I reply and say, "He's been with me after we've went and ate mexican."

Enough said.

She laughs.

I don't.

But the episode got me to thinking, when sick I am very gross. I mean no make-up (which really who wears make-up when sick anyway?), hair in a pony tail, want to just lay in bed and watch re-runs with a box of Kleenex beside me - gross.

Well my mother need not worry because this weekend Marine got to see me... gross.

Sunday night we arrived home and and we each took a dose of Tylenol Multi-Flu (The liquid = Nasty, yucky, liquid), put in a movie, and snuggled under the covers. Within a matter of minutes the medicine had kicked in and we were both asleep.

Of course I got up a zillion times during the middle of the night to empty my teeny-tiny bladder of all the fluids Marine was insistent I drink and to blow my nose.... aka sound the fog horn that was in the place of where my nose used to be.

And every time I got up poor Marine, the light sleeper he is, would wake up also.

Mid-night we took some more of the liquid elixir that held the key to sleep..... and it worked! Very unlike us Marine and I slept until the sun was making its way up into the sky. It was a little after 10:30 when we finally rolled out of bed.

My head was stopped up and spinning, my whole body ached, and there was a ringing in my ears that normally only happens after a night of drinking way to much.

I was beyond sick!

I took a shower hoping it would ease the pain..... or wash away the flu.

It didn't.

Marine took me to get my comfort food for lunch ~ Chinese egg drop soup (goes back to a dad story). After that I felt somewhat better. Not much though.

So we returned home curled up and tried again to watch the movie we had feel asleep during the night before, Couples Retreat. The Flu medicine knocked us both out though so both attempts at watching the movie were in vain.

This morning we awoke early, well 6 a.m. is early to me anyway, and met his mom and step-dad for breakfast at I-Hop. And then I dropped him off with Marine1 so they could head back to base and I headed for the orthodontist.

The braces came off today! I was excited............ but dread the root canal I know have to schedule. Hopefully my smile will be back to normal soon. And this year Horse and I will try not to butt heads!

The big V-Day. Hope everyone's went well!

Mine was pretty much just another day.... but I loved just the same!! I was just happy to spend the day with Marine. That's what the day is really about. Spending it with the one's you love. Weather that be a significant other, friends, or family - share the day with someone you love and let them know how much you appreciate them.

So due to weather our V-Day was put on hold ~ well the gift part anyway. The love part I think we got.

Like all weekend with Marine, this one also went by way to fast. But I'm sure my Mom will be happy to know that Marine and I can handle each other through the "gross" times.

Charlie [about sick Chelsea]: "I should have known, the second you give them a ring, they fall out of warranty."

~ Two and a Half Men ~

Labor Day Weekend Recap

Friday night Marine got to the house about 9:30. Before the arrival of Marine and VB, Vixen and I had been rocking out to some SingStar. Hadn't played it in awhile and with some spare time on our hands it was great. Since I knew Marine would be arriving late I had stopped by the movie store on the way home and checked out a movie. I had been on the phone with Marine when Marine1 in the background suggest we watch Last House On The Left. Now I should have known better than to take movie recommendations from Marine1 but it was Friday at 6:00 p.m. and the choices were slim. So reluctantly I hand over my money and leave with movie in hand. WORSE MOVIE EVER!!! In my opinion at least. I did not like it one bit!!

Saturday Marine woke early and left to go fishing with his Grandpa. Vixen and I headed in the opposite direction as we attended Hollywood's little boy's birthday party. It was the official welcome of the terrible two's. A year that I'm sure she hopes won't live up to the horror stories. His love for Cars, a movie he wants on repeat 24/7 was the party theme.

After the party I returned to the barn to feed horses and get my things ready for the horse show that evening. I had finished up with everything and was sitting in a rocking chair waiting for time to leave. I rocked enjoying the moment of peace. Marine walked thru the door and my heart skipped a beat as he greeted me with a smile. He slid into the chair next to me and reached over and took my hand as he told me about his afternoon and then asked about mine.

He helped me get the horses ready then the two of us along with mom headed to the horse show. We got there and he walked with me as I did the routine I did every weekend. It was weird yet nice to have him accompanying me as I went to sign up, unloaded the horses and proceeded to get everything ready. Most people would have gotten in my way, messed with my routine. But he didn't he was actually a big help and it made me appreciate the fact that he actually knew about horses. We had brought along a horse for him to ride and we sat atop our horses side by side and watched the show, waiting on my turn to run. I had so much fun and he seemed to as well. It was great having someone I could share this special part of my life. Horses are my passion and they have taken a backseat before when I have been in a relationship but I can tell this time is different. Its like having the best of both worlds. I can race and have the relationship. And he was so supportive! I had a good night. Placed 3rd in one event and 5th in the other.

We didn't get back to the barn and get the horses unloaded and put up till nearly 2 a.m. We were both tired yet we stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home. A cookout was planned for Sunday afternoon at the house and Marine wanted to go ahead and pick up steaks so we could let them marinade overnight. Yeah this put us at the house about 3:30. We were sweaty, dirty and exhausted!! But a shower was definitely a necessity before going to bed.

Now I have a funny story. It involves a mouse, a flip flop and screaming. But this is a recap so you'll get that story a wee bit later.

Sunday morning, with very little sleep, we get up and head to church. After church its off to lunch with Marine's Dad. Then to the feed store where we pick up horse feed for his horse and take it to his mom's and unload it in the barn. That left of with just enough time to hurry back to the house and change clothes before everyone started arriving for the cookout.

It was a fun day. The cookout went well. Great food, great friends, fun times. It was still different from last year and I missed my friends that were unable to make it. But maybe next year.

Monday we again awoke early..... well cause let's face it - Marine is only home for a short amount of time and there is always alot to try and fit into that time frame. We headed to his Mom's where we ate brunch with his mom, stepdad and stepbrother. It went good as it always does. Then Marine and I gave his three horses each a bath before grabbing fishing poles and going to meet his Grandpa to go fishing.

At first I was hesitant on the whole fishing trip idea. I know that is something he and his Grandpa usually try to do while he is home. It's their time spent together. I didn't want to intrude. But I am told I am welcome to come by both parties so with a smile I agree to go. I had so much fun! I had already met his Grandpa once before and knew I liked him but after the fishing trip I knew that my first impression had been correct.

Now as far as the fishing went I did catch a few trout, which was good. But I also caught something quite unexpected..... a rather large crawdad. Not one but three! So yeah I was pretty much at least able to give Marine and his Grandpa a good laugh because apparently they fish at this spot all the time and have never caught a crawdad. Yeah I'm just special like that. :)

After fishing we meet up with his parents and his little sister and go out to eat Mexican.

Yes it seems the only thing we did the entire weekend was eat!

Tuesday morning I awoke and got ready for work. Marine packed his bags, he would be leaving shortly to head back to base. As we left the house I hugged him. Not wanting to let go. I would see him again before he left but still this was the private goodbye, just the two of us.

I arrived at work hungry. I had been to busy to eat breakfast. I sat at my desk, I was the only one in the office when the door opens and in comes Marine with a Chick-fil-a bag. With a smile he places it and a Dr. Pepper on my desk, "I know you didn't eat before we left the house...."

Seriously how sweet is that?! He is so considerate, so thoughtful, and just so wonderful! I really never believed guys like him actually existed.

I met him for lunch and then after that he left for base. It was a great weekend. Of course the time passed to fast. But it's ok, I'll see him next weekend when I go up there for my birthday.

I know this is a half ass post. I'll admit the weekend was so much more fun than this recap does justice. In all honesty I'm tired. I have been going way to much, with way to little sleep. Just seems there are never enough hours in the day!

I do promise my next post will be much more entertaining as I tell you a story from the weekend that I will just refer to as Mouse Trap.........

Just What I Need On A Night Like This

I arrived at Giggles house loaded down with all the necessities: camera, rum, and chocolate. I mean really what more do you need. I hugged the few friends that had already arrived and mixed a drink and joined them on the back porch. It was a beautiful day! Us girls sat and caught up as the guys headed for the backyard to start a game of horseshoes. In a short time others started to arrive and before long the back yard was filled with laughter and chattering voices. There were about 20 or so people, some of which I have not seen in months.

Everything about the night was great ~ the kabobs, the smores, the conversations, and the gazillion pics we took. The night was beautiful and as I sat around the bonfire I leaned back in my chair to look up at the stars thankful for the night in itself.

Shortly after midnight I climbed the stairs and changed into PJ's and collapsed on the air mattress. The previous days and lack of sleep catching up with me. My phone goes off. Part of me wants to ignore it but the curiosity gets to me and I roll over to retrieve my phone. Marine1.

He has called me once already and sent numerous messages throughout the night. He is based about 7 hours from here so he decided to come home for the weekend. On his ride home Friday he had inquired about hanging out that night but I was working at Sports Bar and had to decline. Yesterday he asked about my plans and I had told him of the Engagement party/cookout. He acted interested but it was not my place to invite him. Besides he had other plans.

I reply and place the phone back down and then fall into a peaceful sleep. Several hours later my phone starts ringing. I quickly grab it press the button and go into the hall so not to wake up Vivi, Vixen and Girlfriend.

"Hello," I whisper still half asleep.
"Hey," comes the deep familiar voice of Marine1, "Where are you at?"
"Giggles and BF's."
"What are you doing?"
"I was sleeping," I stress.
"Oh sorry...... what time is it?"
I take the phone away from ear and glance at the display, "3:30." I reply frustrated.
"Oh...... I'm sorry didn't mean to wake you up. Didn't realize it was that late."
"What's up?" Usually I'm a little nicer but its 3:30 a.m. get to the point.
"Nothing. Just wondering what you were doing."
I sigh, "Ok well I'll call you in the morning."
"Ok. Good Night."

I hang up and head back to the comfort of the air mattress. In route my phone vibrates in my hand. I open the message.

Marine1: Let's go to your house and passout

You have got to be kidding me. I go out in the hall again and call him back. I now learn he wound up going with some people to a house party and now he is stranded there. He doesn't have his car and he is beyond ready to go. I tell him to go to sleep and I'll come get him in the morning. He then tells me there is nowhere for him to sleep and he proceeds to beg.

I've been there before. Being somewhere you didn't want to be and wanting to leave and being unable to. Anyone else who has been in this position can relate to how much it sucks. Sigh. "I'll be there in 3o minutes....... and by the way you so owe me big time!"

All my friends said I was stupid for going but if it would have been one of them I would have done the same.

I head outside in my pj's my stuff in hand. I climb in the 4runner and head to town. I have never been to this place before but it is 20 seconds if that from town and was easy to find. As I turn on the road I call Marine1 and tell him to be outside waiting that I'm not getting out of the car. I pull in the driveway and what should be the first car I see? Big's Jeep.... apparently things in couple-land are not going so good. I feel a moment of sympathy for him but it is quickly gone along with any other thoughts of him as Marine1 climbs in the car.

"Thank you." He says with a grin before I can say anything.
"Yeah, Yeah." I grumble and head toward home.

We arrive shortly and I enter the house and fall into bed as he heads towards the kitchen for a glass of water. Oh yes the bed beats the air mattress any day!

A moment later as I lie in the darkness I feel the bed shift as the weight of Marine1 climbs in. He scoots close and puts his arm around me. This is the main part I miss about being in a relationship, sleeping with someone (and I do mean just sleeping). I like being held while I sleep. Feeling someone beside you. As I snuggle up next to him I drift off.

This morning I awoke to the sun streaming thru the windows announcing the arrival of another beautiful day. I roll over buring my face in the pillow not yet ready to start the new day. I can't fall back asleep. I feel Marine1 from behind me start to stir as well. "Good morning," He mumbles buring his face in my hair.

"I'm not ready to get up," I admit.
"Then lets not."

I laugh at the simple reply as I reach for the remote and flip on the TV. We lay there in silence just enjoying the companionship as we watch I Am Legend. My phone starts ringing Vixen's tone and I sit up and reach over to answer it.

"Good morning."
"So have sex last night?"
My back is still to Marine1 but I know my cheeks are flaming, "No," I laugh.
"Yeah right. You had sex last night."
"No I really didn't." Not knowing how else to respond so that Marine1 doesn't know what I am talking about.

The conversation continues a moment longer then I tell her bye. As I hang up and go to set the phone down Marine1 is laughing. "So we had sex last night?"

I laugh to realizing he heard the entire conversation, "Apparently."

He shakes his head and reaches up for me pulling me back down beside him. We watched a little more of the movie and then got up to start the day. I had things to do and he needed to get home and get ready to head back to base.

I dropped him off at his car and like always he says he will call and tells me when he next plans on coming home again. As he goes to get out of the car he pauses and thanks me again for coming to get him.

"That's what friends are for." I reply with a half-smile.

As I drive I think about the situation. I'm not ready for a relationship. I have stated that over, over, and over again. I mean I spent over 7 years trying to make someone else happy. It's my turn. And the thing about going on dates is the internal fear of the feeling that it might actually start "going somewhere". Yeah that scares the crap out of me. But lets face it there are somethings I do miss about being in a relationship; ie cuddling. The great thing about Marine1 is we hang out, we laugh, we have fun, we kiss occasionally, we cuddle, and then he goes back to base. If he calls great. If he doesn't that's ok to. The fact is he is not around all the time and there is no pressure. Even though neither of us says it we both know it will go nowhere. We live in the moment. Not thinking about the last nor even considering the fact there may be another in the future. No pressure. He can date, I can date. No ties. I've never experienced anything like this. Being so emotionally unattached to a situation. I think the helpless romantic in me may have finally given up or at least taken a much needed vacation.

My friends may not understand it. But right now I think it's just what I need.

Aleksandr, "Is this really how one finds love?"

Carrie, "No, it's just what we do to distract ourselves until the real thing comes along."

~ Sex And The City ~

Ramblings

There will be more to come but this is my random thoughts of the moment.

I knew Marine1 was coming home this weekend. The plan for Friday night had been simple:

I was working at SportsBar
He was going to come in and eat diner and wait for me to get off work.
We were going to go out.

But at 3:00 I was called and told that I didn't have to work (whoopee!!) So I had Vixen stop by a Ticketmaster location and get me a ticket for the concert her and Vivi were going to tonight. I didn't contact Marine1 because I hadn't heard from him in a week and plans change. Our plans weren't even definite. And one of the new rules is, I will not sit around and wait on a guy; regardless if he is friend or a potential love interest ~ maybe I shall rephrase that completely ~ I will not sit around and wait on anybody. If there is something I want to do I am going to go do it.

So as we were on the way to the concert (interesting ride will give more info later) I get a message.

Marine1: What r u doing tonight?
Me: Going ____ to see _____. You?
Marine1: Not sure who all is going?
Me: Me, Vivi, Vixen
Marine1: Cool sounds fun
Me: Should be :) ride down if you don't find anything to do
Marine1: k I might

I kinda feel guilty at this point for not inviting him more in advance. But I don't know I feel in the grey area if this would have been before the hook up I probably would have - now though I guess I don't really want to contact him that much because I don't want him to think I like him as more than a friend. So then later I am having fun shaking my butt on the dance floor when I feel my phone vibrate from in my purse.

Marine1: Whats up
Me: Plenty. Whats up with you?
Marine1: Not much. Where you at
Me: Same place was earlier. Where you at?
Marine1: In town
Me: Miss us don't ya? lol boring without us?
Marine1: Yeah

Rule number 1: Never Tell Your Girlfriends

When having a 'hook up' be smart. Tell no one. Yeah that was where I messed up.... If you tell no one it is never talked about therefor you can pretend it never happened. At least that is the way things go in my little bubble.

But nnnooo I had to open my big mouth. Shake of head. That was not my only mistake but really we don't have all night for me to point out the many mistakes I have made when it comes to men, relationships, hook ups, and screw ups. So for the time being we will focus on this one.

So now anytime Marine1 is brought up I get the look. You know the look I'm referring to. Its almost a smirk. And Vixen has that know all smirk that only she can give. I admit she knows me at times better than I know myself but really. Its as if they think I secretly have a crush on him. Which I do not. Perhaps its because I don't hook up.

But the thing is after awhile they start to mess with your physcee. Make you think, well should I have a crush on him? It makes you second guess yourself --- something I am not a big fan of.

I have to shake my head to clear it of the thoughts they put there with their looks and remind myself it was what it was. Nothing more. And I want to leave it at that. I don't want anything more than a friendship with him now or ever. I mean he really isn't a guy I would ever want to date. Expect he can be an ass at times which tends to be my normal type. But no. I'm really only into him as a friend.

I want the bubble back.

Miranda, (The man Miranda had just met at the gym asked her out) "Nah, it's too quick. I think maybe that kick in his head scrambled his brains."

Carrie, "No. Too quick is sleeping with him on the first date. That's too quick."

Miranda, "You both got excited, and you went for it. Stop blaming yourself."

Carrie, "Oh, I don't blame myself. I blame the dress. The dress!"

~ SATC ~

Sent via BlackBerry

It's Time To Go

Last night I was looking forward to coming home and going to bed early. The late nights starting to catch up with me I was in dire need of a good nights sleep. Punk-Rock-Chick calls having BF issues and asks me if I will meet up with her for dinner and a beer. Ok it's 8 o'clock and having being used to going none stop my adrenaline is still pretty hi. I quickly shed my comfy sweats and pull on jeans and a t-shirt and am out the door in five minutes. As we sit at the table I sip on my beer and listen to her issues. The plan was to have a beer and go. Be at home and in the bed by 10. That was feasible. And then I feel two arms come around me from behind. From the smell of the cologne I know who it is; Marine1. I turn my head half way to see him smiling at me and JC standing to the side also smiling.

"Thought you weren't coming out tonight?" He asks.

"Well.... I wasn't planning on it," I reply with a grin.

Tonight is his last night home and by the looks of his athletic shorts and t-shirt just came from the gym look, it's obvious he wasn't planning on coming out either. "Figured one last beer with JC," he answers. The conversation continues for a minute then the two walk away and Punk-Rock-Chick and I return to our previous conversation. We finish our beers, pay the tab and prepare to leave. I walk down to where JC and Marine1 sit to tell them bye. "Come on you can't leave. Stay a little longer and hang out with us."

"Just a little longer," I consent. Punk-Rock-Chick smiles and says her goodbyes and once again it is the 3 of us. It's as if we have become the 3 amigos.

As the three of us sit there in conversation the first shot appears for Marine1. Anytime we go out in town we see people we know that want to buy him shots. Which is nice and all but Marine1 won't turn them down. You see where this is going. He does the shot with the new comer. But they don't stop there. It is getting later and more and more people are starting to trickle in. Before I know it JC and I are sitting at the corner of the bar shaking our heads and laughing as Marine1 does shots with the new found friends. At 10:30 I am ready to go. Past ready to go. But as I watch another shot of crown being handed to Marine1 I know that I need to stay and make sure he makes it home ok. Plus poor JC looks just as ready to leave as I do and I hate to leave him behind to hold down the corner by himself.

Me: "So how much longer before we can leave?"

JC: "Hell he should be ready to go before long. We'll take him to waffle house let him eat something to sober up then take him home."

Me: " I think this is the most I've seen him drink since he's been home. He is going to feel like crap in the morning."

JC: with a sigh "Yep."

An hour later JC and I are definitely ready to go.

JC: "Go tell him your ready to go he'll listen to you."

I roll my eyes at him before turning my back to approach Marine1.

Me: "You bout ready to go?"

Marine1: "Not just yet." His eyes are glazed over pretty good at this point and I can tell the crown is in full effect.

I look back over at JC who motions with his hand in a gesture I assume means keep trying. I sigh. Time to play dirty. Time to play the girly-bat-my-eyelashes-get-what-I-want card. I hate using this card and refrain from using it unless no other choice. I turn back to Marine1 tossing my head so my hair falls from behind my ear allowing my layers to hang just slightly over my right eye. I smile up at him and he wraps his arms around me in a hug. I hug him back and tilt my head slightly up to look at him. "Come on lets go home," I say this time with a more sugar coated tongue.

Marine1 not looking down at me but focusing on some distant point behind me, "Just a little longer."

He is quite taller than me and I stand on tiptoes now untangling my arms from his waist and reaching up to intertwine my fingers behind his neck. "Come on......" I can see his face softening. "Hey," I say softly but loud enough to be heard over the loud music, "Look at me."

"No," he replies squeezing me tightly but still looking over my head.

"Please look me in the eye....."

"Can't."

"Why?"

"Cause if I look at you I'll give in." He laughs glancing down for one brief second.

I laugh at his response and he shifts back a few steps to sit on a bar stool, never letting me go but pulling me with him. The expression on his face is softening and I can tell I'm starting to win. "Come on let's go home." I say this as if we are going home together. Yeah this is a cheap shot cause I am not going home with him. But at this point I know he won't remember so what ever works.

"Ok..." comes out and then out of left field comes this guy talking to Marine1 and handing him another shot. The softened look fades from Marine1's face and I can tell the battle has just been lost. I curse the guy under my breath and head back over to JC who is shaking his head and grinning having watched the whole episode.

JC: "You had him."

Me: "I know."

We sit there another 10 minutes and watch as Marine1 and Guy talk.

JC: "Ok new plan." he leans towards me conspiratorially, "I'll distract Guy you grab Marine1 and head for the car. I'll meet you there."

Me: "Why not other way around?"

JC: "Cause he doesn't care if I'm ready to go or not."

Me: "Touche." I pause, "Wait one minute." I wait for the bartender to look at me then motion him over and ask him to close out Marine1's tab. The bartender returns a minute later handing me Marine1's card and the receipt. My eyes bulge at the amount but add the tip on and sign his name at the bottom. I pocket the card and receipt and turn back to JC, "Ok let's move."

I let JC approach the two guys first. He easily slips into the conversation and after another moment I can see JC has maneuvered the conversation so that it is between just him and the Guy and Marine1 is merely a bystander. As I start to get up Marine1 makes eye contact with me and comes toward me instead. He silently takes my hand and closes his eyes a moment as he says, "This was not a good idea."

I can't help but smile as I agree with him. I give his hand a quick squeeze, "Come on lets go." I glance at JC real quick to see he still has Guy preoccupied. I stand and head for the door keeping a firm grip one Marine1's hand as he staggers slightly behind me. He stops suddenly the force pulling me backwards, "I got to close my tab."

I smile, "Already done."

Marine1: "Got my card."

Me: "Yep."

Satisfied with the answers we start walking again. Almost out the door I hear Guy shout at Marine1. I feel the hesitation flowing thru his body to his fingers intertwined thru mine. I pretend I didn't hear the guy and I tighten my grip as I push the inner door open and walk out. I turn to Marine1 and offer a half smile. He smiles back as he steps forward to open the next door for me. Almost clear. We get in the car where Marine1 slumps in the passenger seat, "why did you let me drink so much? Why didn't you cut me off?" He asks closing his eyes and leaning against the door.

I don't answer the rhetorical question, just crank the 4runner and wait for JC. He jumps in the backseat a minute later and we head toward Marine1's house. I pull up in the driveway and Marine1 leans over and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before stumbling out of the car. JC gets out of the backseat to help Marine1 into the house but he is a tad to slow. So as we watch the front door close. JC gets in the passenger seat and we head back to the restaurant where I tell him good night and drop him off at his truck.

I get home around 1:30 and set my alarm not understanding why I even bother anymore.......

This morning I arrive at work. My phone starts vibrating and Marine1's picture flashes up. "Good morning sunshine!" I say extra chippy cause I can imagine how hungover he feels and after keeping my out so late I want to be kinda annoying. lol

"Why does my ass hurt?"

Despite the two other people in the office I crack up trying to control my giggles and wish I was somewhere I could spout off the witty response that came to mind. But alas I bite my tounge, "I don't know I dropped you off, saw you go in the house and left."

"I think I fell down the stairs," he says letting out a little laugh as well. "I'm really sorry bout last night I really don't remember very much."

"Yeah you were an ass," I state.

I hear the remorse in his voice, "I'm sure I was. I'm so sorry!!"

"It's ok. Take it you didn't make it up this morning." Glancing at the clock it shows 9:30 when the night before he said he was leaving for base at 7:30.

"Nah, gonna wait and leave after lunch," he responds.

"Gottcha, well I gotta get back to work."

"Ok I have some stuff to do but if I have time I'll try and stop by and see you real quick before I leave."

"Ok." I knew its a nice gesture but I also knew he won't come by. Our three week mark had ended the night before at midnight as far as I was concerned. It was time for him to go back. Time for me to get back to my life.

I won't lie part of me will miss him. You know the kind that when you give up a bad habit misses the adrenaline rush and addiction. But its best he leave now before I got into deep. I'm still cautious. Not really wanting a relationship. Hell not even really wanting to go out on a date with someone whom I don't already know. I'm just not ready. As Blondie had hit the nail on the head, that was one of the things that was so appealing about Marine1 ~ the fact that I could go and hang out with him but that I knew that after 3 weeks it would be over. I didn't have to worry about it turning into something or think long term. She was right more so than she knows. I have learned to keep a certain amount of information to myself, therefor I haven't really told my friends the entire extent of Marine1. They don't know that he called or texted me nearly everyday he was here. Something that I didn't really see as such of a big deal until I started realizing that while home he spent nearly all his time with me when I know there were other girls that were wanting to go out with him. But then I think he appealed to me for the same reason I appealed to him. The understanding that at the end of three weeks that's it. We will stay in touch as before he came home but its not expected to be an everyday thing. No strings attached.

Ted, "She wants casual... Okay, I'll be casual. I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual. You know why? 'cause it's a game. I wanna to skip to the end and to the whole happily ever after thing. But you don't get there, unless you play the game."
Marshall, "So you gonna ask her out?"
Ted, "Yes. NO! I can't ask her out because if I ask her out I'm ASKING HER OUT. So how do I ask her out, without asking her out?"

~ How I Met Your Mother ~

And Then

Let's see where was I........ oh yes sitting on the side of the road waiting on Marine1. I hear twigs snapping and a moment later Marine1 appears. Even in the dark I can see a grin on his face as he hurries to the car and climbs in the passenger seat.

We are once again on the way to Vixen's house as Marine1 explains his midnight run. He said he saw the blue lights and just took off running thru the woods. Why you may ask..... yeah so did I..... because in the south cops give people who have been drinking a hard time. Even when they are only a passenger. So the fact he was puking off the side of the road he was afraid of getting some kinda of BS ticket. Crazy? Yes. Oh well definitely an interesting moment I will always remember!

A short time later we arrive at Vixen's and the 3 of us (Marine1, JC, and I) sit on the porch swing in the cool night air. The night is still early and we enjoy swinging back and forth as we laugh at events from the night and stories of moments gone by. Before long we head inside and I try to corral the 2 toward the air mattress and the couch. Vixen has a nice HUGE cali-king bed, which she is already asleep in, my plan is to get them to their designated areas then go climb in bed with her.

I keep shushing them, trying to quite their loud intoxicated laughter, so as not to wake Vixen up. They are determined to wake Vixen up and I just as determined to not let them. Marine1 grabs me from behind, "Go, Go, Go!" He says as he lifts me off the ground and JC makes a dash for the closed bedroom door. I kick back my foot connecting with his shin as I squirm trying to get away. Marine1 holds tight though and as he allows me to pull him slightly forward we both trip and crash to floor in a tangled heap. Well if JC hasn't woke her up by now we sure did, I think as I untangle myself and jump up quickly leaving Marine1 scrambling behind me. I enter the bedroom and Vixen is indeed half awake and laughing as JC tells her about our evening since we parted with her. The four of us lay across the bed now all talking and laughing as Marine1 and I become the brunt of several jokes. Where I lay between JC and Marine1 I am quite cozy and I drift off as the others voices start to fade. I awake about an hour later to the soft snores coming from beside me. I realize that all four of us are passed out in Vixen's bed and I debate moving to the couch for more room but considering I am in between the two and wrapped up in the blanket like a burrito I realize I couldn't move even if I wanted to. So I sigh and close my eyes again and wait for sleep to return.

As I doze I am laying on my side my back to Marine1 I feel his arm drape over my waist and pull me back against his chest. I love being held while I sleep. So I allow him to hold me as I fall into a deep sleep. An hour later I hear Vixen's alarm sound and the shower kick on in the bathroom. I roll towards Marine1 and he rolls onto his back pulling me close so that I am in the crock of his arm.

Marine1,"Why did you move?"

Me, "Huh?"

He turns his head and kisses my forehead, "Last night you were on the other side of me. When did you move."

I can feel a smile spread across my face at the thought of this misunderstanding, "I didn't move Vixen was on the other side of you."

"Oh shit. I thought that was you. I think I may have tried cuddling with her last night. Why didn't you hit me?" His voice has a tone of panic to it, perhaps thinking I will be mad.

Personally I find it funny, "I was asleep."

He pulls me closer wrapping both arms around me now, "Well I feel like an ass." I don't comment just allow him to hold me as I take a deep breath inhaling the traces of cologne that linger from the previous night. It is intoxicating I think as I fight the urge to kiss him. I am such a sucker for a guy that smells good. It's as if he reads my mind though and rolls on his side to face me and leans in to kiss me. We lay there as the sun rises talking softly so as not awake JC.

I get up and head for the kitchen where I grab and drink and tell Vixen bye as she heads out the door for work. JC and I had been smart and had the day off. Marine1 comes into the kitchen and I hand him a glass of water. Today he is going out of town to visit some family. This may be the last time I see him before he leaves. I walk him to the door. Not sure of what to say or do. So I remain silent. He reaches the door and halts, spins around quickly and takes me in his arms picking me up off the ground in an action so swift that I am taken by surprise. I wrap my arms around his neck instinctively as he lifts me up so that we are face to face. He smiles then tilts his head as he leans forward to kiss me. It starts as a small sweet innocent kiss but as he lowers me to the ground the kiss intensifies. But like all good things it to must come to an end. I pull away and he pulls me back. Hugs me again tightly, kisses me on the forehead and then he is gone.

I stand at the open door waiting for the dogs to come inside and watch him walk towards his car. As I close the door behind me I pause a moment to lean back against it and shake my head, wondering what the hell was I thinking.

I climb back in bed, it is a little after 7 and JC and I don't need to leave the house till a little after 8 so I lay there thinking about how much life has changed. I drift back into a dreamless sleep mere minutes before the alarm sounded, or so it seemed. I awake JC and after finding him some Tylenol we are on the road the destination Chick-Fil-A for breakfast than his truck.

As we ride along JC says, "The past few weeks have been fun but man I'm about ready for Marine1 to go. Me and my bank account can't take much more of this."

Yeah we may be going out acting like we are still in college but the next day we seem to say, "I'm getting to old for this." lol

"I realized I had just entered an interesting chapter in my life, I had outgrown the boys of my past an not quite grown into the men of my future."

~ Carrie, SATC ~