Always Listen To Your Gut

So part of my new year's resolution to myself was to blog more. I was thinking once a week..... at least once a month..... I've failed miserably.

Tonight though I find myself home alone and yearning to write!

Why am I home alone?

The boys are back in town! lol yes the song plays in my head even as I typed that. Marine's USMC buddies (3 of them) are in town for a visit. We haven't seen them in over two years so they were a site for sore eyes. Marine and Roommates bromance is back in full force. I'm so happy for Marine to get to spend time with his best friend. I take for grant that I can see my bestie as often as I do. So this weekend Marine and his buddies headed over to the family camper that is parked at lake campsite over the summer.

Perfect night for a girls night! So after dinner with her Aunt Vixen, Maddie and I came home and I was all excited about time just the two of us....... well Maddie fell asleep on the way home and went right back to sleep as soon as I laid her in her bed. So that means party is postponed till around 2 am!

So I made a big leap a few weeks back and decided to go back to work full time. When I originally took the job a few years ago my gut had told me not to take it and I had ignored it. The job was ok, the people were great, but working with an office of women all under the age of 35 was a little to much drama for me. So when I went part time it was good. And it clouded my memory of before. Then the offer came. My boss got promoted and I was offered a promotion to her previous job position. Great salary, pretty good benefits..... of course I would have to come back full time.....

The debate began. Marine told me wasn't going to give an opinion. It had to be my decision.

They then tell me starting in September the company is going to offer daycare at work. The daycare would be small, only about 5 kids.

This made the decision tougher to make. My gut told me not to take it. But my head said this was a great opportunity. I admit I may have been blinded by the money..... I convinced myself that if I didn't take the job I would be being selfish. That I know I wanted to stay home with Maddie but what about in a few years when she starts school? What would I do then? Go back to a low paying receptionist job? I thought of all the money Marine and I would be able to save. The money we could put into finishing out the new house. The money we could put towards Maddie's college fund. I mean we have been living on Marine's income so my new salary could mostly go into savings.

My gut still had alarm bells going off. I ignored them. And decided it would be best for the family if I took this possibly once in a life time offer.

I accepted the job stressing that I was accepting it due to the upcoming daycare. My boss said that over the summer I could come back to work and her daughter could watch Maddie at the office. There was an empty office in the back that could be turned into a playroom. "It'll be fine!" she said.

Now maybe I should mention her daughter is 12.

I knew this wouldn't work. But I knew if I didn't at least try it I could kiss the job goodbye. So I made arrangements with the 12 year old and settled on a babysitting salary I would pay her each week for watching Maddie at the office.

On June 3rd I went back to work full time.

Needless to say it took 2 weeks for Maddie to break me. Maddie is not much for going to work. The first day was good because it was something new. The second day.... not so good. And it has only went down hill from there. We now pull in the parking lot and Maddie say's "mama no, no."

So the second week in I cave and tell my boss I can't keep doing this. That I understand her daughter is trying hard and is doing a good job Maddie is just used to being more active. I mean Maddie has never stayed home an entire day in her life. I mean we always go to the barn every day to feed horses and the chickens. And most days we go Marine's restaurant to eat lunch with him after the lunch rush has ended. So staying in place all day was not her idea of fun.

I thought it would get better as she adjusted to the new routine. But when you can hear crying from a few doors down and her desperately saying "Mama... mama..." your heart melts and you realize no amount of money is worth it.

Maddie knows I'm in the same building so I know that is probably part of the problem.

I have since been juggling trying to make the best of the situation. Marine's mom has also pitched in keeping Maddie 2 days a week.

I keep telling myself that if we can just make it two more months problem will be solved.

Then I learn this last week that we more than likely are not going to be getting a daycare.....

*****crickets chirping******

Marine and I have both agreed we really don't want to put Maddie in actual day care. And call me old fashioned.... maybe it's because my mom was a stay at home mom.... but I want to raise Maddie. I don't want a stranger raising her. I want to be the one to teach her things. I want to be the one to see her as she tries to experience new things. I want her to learn our families values, not those of someone else.

Now don't get me wrong I know that most families have to have two incomes in this day and age. With the price of gas and food it is nearly impossible to get by on one income like earlier generations were able to.

But when working part time I realized just how many things you can really do without. And you know what? You don't even really miss all that stuff you once thought you needed.

After 3 weeks of not seeing Maddie but a few hours a day I've determined two things.
1. Somethings are more valuable than money
2. Always listen to your guy


I know I'm being Debbie Downer as I wallow in stupid self pity. I mean with all the "real" problems in the world this is ridiculous to even waste blog space over. I get that. But since Aunt Flow is currently visiting I will chalk up crazy hormones as being one of the author's behind this post.

I write in hopes that I will one day look back and read this and know that I made the right decision.

But what should that decision be?

Back to the drawing board.... Do I suck it up and deal with it? Or do I follow my heart and return to being a full time stay at home mom?

In My Little Corner Of the World

How is it already February?

Maddie has started walking a few weeks ago, 10 months and walking. We are definitely in trouble!

I guess I haven't updated much on what is going on in life in general lately. So let's see if I can play some catch up.

After Maddie was born I went back to work full time.

I hated it.

When I would leave in the morning she would still be asleep. Marine would take her to the sitter, from which I would pick her up around 6:30. By the time we would get home it would be 7 and I would bath her and feed her and it was time for bed. I would try hard to keep her up to play but by 8 / 8:30pm she just couldn't take it.

I did this for a couple of months and then realized it just wasn't worth it. I had gotten a promotion at work and actually liked my job - and was making dang good money. But it wasn't worth it to me. I was missing out on to much.

And Marine, well I was driving him crazy as well as myself.

So we sat down and started crunching numbers and the "what if's" and came to the decision that we could afford for me to stay home with Maddie.

At that decision I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I know how this might sound to some. And I truly empathize with the single working mom's out there. I don't see how they do it. And if I had no other choice I could have kept doing it. Sucked it up and been thankful for the one hour a day I actually got to see her awake.

At that point some drama was going down at work and I knew it wasn't the right time to turn in my notice. I have never left a job on bad terms and they were good to me while I was on maternity leave so I owed them the respect of being fair to them as well. So I waited a week for things to settle down and then sat down to have the conversation with my boss.

It did not go how I had planned.

I really like my boss but.... it's safe to say she is different then anybody else I have ever worked for. She is just a few years older then myself and she lives and breathes work. She has a family also but work is what comes first to her. Also even though her and I had always gotten along, at times she can be a real witch.

I had a feeling when I told her she would be mad and not even let me work the two week notice I was planning to give.

Instead she broke down and started crying on me.

Not what I expected at all!

She offered me more money.

I thanked her but held my stance and declined. She asked if I would consider working part time.

This was not what I was expecting.

Marine's mom had already said she would still like to keep Maddie one day a week. Marine and I had already discussed that on that day I would work at the restaurant. (I did mention Marine opened a restaurant, right?).

I tell my boss about the one day. To my shock she says that if I would want to work part time I still can.

The end result I go into the office one day a week and then work part time from home the rest of the week.

So while Maddie naps I work or after she goes to bed at night. Which doesn't leave much free time for "me stuff" such as blogging or reading. But I am very thankful. It's nice to still have a little of my own money and to still have my foot in the door.

I enjoy spending the days with Maddie. Teaching her things and letting her teach me things as well.

Marine is still going to school using his GI Bill... and working at the restaurant.... and shoeing horses..... cutting lumber (we know own a small sawmill as well) and about a million other things. The man does not know how to slow down and just relax. If you count it that is 3 jobs he works and goes to school. Yet somehow still finds the time to be a wonderful dad and husband. Not sure how he does it all but I love and appreciate him for it!

In other exciting news.... we also just bought our first house! Everything Marine does happens fast it seems. All major life changing decisions anyway. Examples:
   - One day we talked about getting married and the future. A week later he has proposed and we have      
      eloped and gotten married.
   - He decides he wants to go in with his Step-Dad and open a restaurant  Within 3 weeks they had a      
      restaurant up and going.
   - He comes home one day and says he and his Uncle are going to go in together and buy a sawmill. I just
      say, "Okayyyyy......" A few days later he says they are going to look at a sawmill..... and you guessed it.
      We now have a sawmill.

Marine and I weren't really looking for a house. We have kept our eye on the market and since his mom is an agent we sometimes go look at stuff that seems to be a good deal. Three weeks ago Marine calls and says lets go look at a house. I agree and go to town to meet him and his mom.

Needless to say we walked through the house and Marine says, "I think we should make an offer."

Its an older home and needs some work but all work that Marine can do himself. Plus it is perfect for us in every way.

It's close to my mom - since my dad passed away I admit I don't want to live to far from her. She needs help with the horses and farm and Marine and I want to be close by to help.

It has 6 acres, and a pasture already fenced in. A perfect clearing to build a barn and a big open back yard for Maddie to have a swing set. Plus there is a peaceful little stream flowing through.

It seemed to good to be true.

Within an hour we had put in an offer.

The next day we heard a response that the offer had been accepted.

We close on the house tomorrow.

I'm so excited! It's going to take some work and we don't plan on moving into it for probably another 6 months. But it will be fun painting and working on it together.

I'll be honest it's all happened so fast I haven't even told any of my friends about it, other then Vixen and Giggles. I've almost been afraid to say anything for fear the deal will then fall through.

I'll post pics soon. I definitely want to track the before and afters!

Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.

Monica: What?

Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.

Phoebe: They went in together. So sorry.

Monica: Oh, my God! Oh, my God that's awful! What did you think of the house?

Phoebe: What?

Joey: Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?

Monica: Yeah, sure... Hum, I'm devastated, obviously... (Turning to Phoebe and Rachel) Did you think the neighborhood was homey?

~ Friends ~

Workin 9 to 5 ----- ok more 8:30 to 5:30

Believe it or not I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.

Nor have I been doing anything super interesting!

Ok maybe a few interesting things......

Friday was my last day of work. It was busy as I tried to train the new girl all the other things I gotten to during the week. It was also sad.

When I started the job 3 years ago I really expected it to be temporary. I mean it was because of that job I started this blog..... yes I blogged at work during down time or my lunch break.

I would say shame on me but let's face it your reading this at work aren't you ;)

Over time I became friends with my co-workers and as more time went by they started to seem more like family.

I had never worked with such a GREAT group of people.

I started to mold the job into more than what it was at face value. I started to shape it into what type of job I wanted.

And you know what? I really liked the job.

But due to the economy I was cut back to part time.

Hence the new job.

So again last Friday was my last day and all my co-workers threw me a surprise going away party luncheon!

I really was surprised! They had my favorite foods and all my favorite things. Complete with Strawberry Daquiris. Thats right last day of work I was a little tipsy after lunch.

They also had a cookie cake for desert.

It was sssssooooooo good!!

And to top it off they also gave me a gift....... sorta a good-luck-at-the-new-job -type-of-thing.

It was a basket with my favorite candies plus some new things for my new office:

Pens, notepads, post-it notes and a candle.

It may not have been much but I thought it was very thoughtful! There was also a super nice card that everyone signed and wrote a note on.

I won't lie it made me cry a little.

I never would have thought it would be so hard to leave a job.

****************

Fast Forward a bit........ I started the new job Tuesday.

The commute's not so bad. It's nice spending part of the time there and back with Blondie and getting to catch  up.

The job's ok. I've decided to give it a full month before I make a decision on weather I like it or not.

But I'll be honest I didn't really take the job because I thought I'd like it. I took it because it was full time, more money and benefits.

So far it's not that bad. It's fast paced (which I like) but leaves no time for afternoon blogging (which I don't like).

The hours are 8:30 to 5:30 which puts me at the barn at 7 and then home by about 8ish. Which means after diner I pretty much just go to bed.  I'll get more used to the routine soon.


So just bear with me. I apologize for ALL the things I've left out lately!!!

I will post about the honeymoon, the wedding bloopers, Memorial Day, Target Practice and everything else soon!!

Friday Fun Day

So I decided the new job would be the best thing in the long run for Marine and myself.

I tried to quit my current job........ and apparently I don't know how to quit right....... because somehow I was told to think about it over the weekend and let them know my decision Monday.

That makes twice this week I have tried to turn in my notice and failed....... is the universe telling me something?

**Sigh**

So the flood of confusion and indecision is back. What to do, what to do?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ok. Enough of that! It's FRIDAY!!!!

Marine and I spent our first night in the new place Wednesday night.

It was wonderful!

The place is not done. But its closer. The Dish guy is coming today to hook up our service. The new patio doors should be installed next week....... so now we just have to get the pool table out of the middle of what will be the living room and get it into the other part of the basement!!!!

Hopefully Marine can recruit a few friends for man power this next week! ;)

This weekend is Blondie's big day!!

We have the wedding rehearsal tonight and the wedding is tomorrow at 2:00.

Last time I will be a maid of honor.

I am SO happy for her. And I wish her a lifetime of smiles and happiness.

Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? 

Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other. 

~ Friends ~

Tennis Match

So I went and job shadowed Blondie for about an hour and a half yesterday. It wasn't that bad. The job doesn't seem that hard..... but I'm still on the fence. Mainly it's the drive I'm unsure about.

Last night though I figured it was time to take one for the team and suck it up. I mean the majority of my friends commute and if they can do it so can I. Suck it up and stop complaining. Many people would be so happy to have to opportunity.

Today I came into work not knowing how to tell my bosses (there are 3 company owners). Timing couldn't have been better. This morning it was just the 3 of us. So I ask if I can speak with them.

And I turn in my notice.

And because it's almost that time of the month I am HIGHLY emotional and actually tear up.

***GASP*** no you didn't......

Yes I did.

My bosses were all super nice and I explained that I love it here but that I just couldn't pass this opportunity up.

They say to give them a day and see if they could come up with something to offer so that maybe I would choose to stay.

I feel like it's a tennis match and I'm the ball.

And I still have no clue what to really do!!!!!!

Of all the things in my life this is the last thing you want to be hearing.

I know.

But seriously I've got to over-analyze somewhere :)

Never Judge A Book {of anything} By It's Cover

Ok so I'm going to go ahead and admit it. I sometimes judge books by their cover.

Shocking. I know.

But it's true.

I did the same thing with this job opportunity.

Nurse Betty road down with me cause we planned on going shopping afterward.

As we pulled into the parking lot I was dreading the interview so bad asking Nurse Betty how to turn them down nicely even.

I was a total Negative Nancy. In my mind I already knew this was something I would hate and I was prepared to say No no matter what was said.

The only reason I was doing the interview was because Blondie recommended me and I didn't want to be rude or make her look bad. I was fully prepared with my excuse being the drive and gas prices.

Let's just say I was in for a BIG surprise!

The Boss Lady (who is not much older than me) was super nice and extremely impressed by my resume apparently. She matched everything I said I had a my current job plus offered me a pay raise along with an extra bump an hour to cover gas. When I still seemed on the fence she pulled out the big guns offering me another week's vacation on top of the other two she had already offered.

All of this plus heath insurance coverage for myself and Marine...... yeah the deal was looking pretty sweet.

But what about the job?

I'm sad to say I wasn't even really sure what job I was interviewing for!

She explained the job and even gave me a quick overview of the computer system. It didn't seem that bad and actually sounded ok.

Of course I was prepared with a list of questions; such as room for advancement and job security. Both were positive responses.

At my current job I'm pretty much maxed out with no room left for advancement. But I like my job and I love the people I work with.

The interview went good and I was offered the job. I asked her if I could think about it over the weekend and let her know.

She said of course and then said, "I understand you like your job now and are hesitant to leave for something you're not even sure you would like......" {wow was she a mind reader or what} "so how bout you come in and observe one day and see if you think it's a job you would like then you can give me a response."

I liked the idea of that....... So tomorrow afternoon I'm going to go down and observe and get a feel for it.

As of now, as long as tomorrow goes good, I think I'm going to accept the job.

The commute will suck..... the hours are 8:30 to 5:30 so that means I will leave my house by 7 a.m. and get home about 7:00 p.m. When you look at it that way it totally sucks! But I'm no stranger to commuting. I commuted to college for 5 years 4 days a week and I made it fine. So this shouldn't be any different, in fact its a shorter commute even!!

It may not be the ideal situation but for right now I think it is the best decision for Marine and I. I really do think it's a job I would like and the steady 40 hours a week, pay raise, and insurance would be great!!!

I'm glad I went to the interview and didn't just blow it off. Just goes to show you things may not always be as they appear.......

The job I'm at now was supposed to be temporary and then I got in that comfort zone so I figure that if I take the new job and I'm there a year and don't like it then I will at least have the "fear" to go find a job I do like.

I got to stop thinking negative though and start thinking positive!!

Rachel: I'm training to be better at a job that I hate. My life officially sucks.

Joey: Look Rach, wasn't this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?

Rachel: Well, yeah! I'm still pursuing that.

Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Ya know, other than sending out resumes like, what, two years ago?

Rachel: Well, I'm also sending out.... good thoughts.

Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you've got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.

Rachel: The fear?

Chandler: He's right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.

Rachel: Well then how come you're still at a job that you hate, I mean why don't you quit and get "the fear?"

(Chandler and Joey both start laughing)

Chandler: Because, I'm too afraid.

~Friends~

Interview @ 4:30

From my Crossroads post the other day I want to say Thank You so much for the advice!!!

In all honesty it was what I wanted to hear.

I am going to go interview though today at 4:30. I figured I should at least go and see the place and get a feel for it before I jump to conclusions.

We'll see.

Keep your fingers crossed I'll be able to make the right decision.

I hate these situations though cause I hate to disappoint people and I'm horrible at saying no. Why is that?

Oh well.....

Happy Friday Everyone!

I'll keep you posted!

Standing At The Crossroads

Sometimes in life we stand at a crossroads. 

When that time comes we all asks ourselves a question we have no way of knowing the answer to, "Which path is the right one to take?"

~ E. ~

Life happens fast.

And mine seems like a whirlwind lately!!

So lets update.

The wedding will be here in 25 days. 3 weeks.

Taken From Google Images

Wow, I have so much last minute little details to do!

Plus a zillion other things it seems!!

Marine also started school last week. He is going to farrier school (a.k.a. horse shoeing school).

They offer a 2 week program, a 6 week program and a 12 week program.

Since the G.I. bill covers the tuition Marine is taking the 12 week course. Today starts his second week. After this week though he will take off till after the honeymoon and then start back up.

The class week is Wednesday thru Sunday and then he is off Monday and Tuesday. The school is about 2 hours away and board is included in the tuition so with the price of gas so high he has been staying over during the school week.

So far he is enjoying it. Which I am so glad!

Now for me?

Well remember those crossroads I mentioned earlier?

Yeah I'm standing there unsure of which way to go.

When I started my current job I took it with the idea in mind that it was only temporary till I could find something else...... that has been 3 years ago come July.

Now at first I wasn't to crazy about the job. But I've actually come to really enjoy it. I like the change of pace and I love all the people that I work with. Not to mention I have GREAT bosses.

But in the past year it has gone from 40 hours a week to 32. I still get benefits (vacation time, and personal time) as if I were working 40 hours though.

When i got cut back I just picked up a second part time job.

Not the most ideal situation but its worked.

I still new that this job was just that.... a job. It's not a career. It's not something I see myself doing in 5 years.

Its more like I'm in a comfort zone and until something better comes along I'm content staying right where I'm at.

I know this isn't the best attitude to have and I think it really all boils down to the fear of failure.

Silly I know.

And that I'm not a big fan of change.

However this week I have been presented with a job opportunity. The company that Blondie works for is looking for a full time person.

The pros:

• It's a steady 40 hours a week. 
• It's Monday thru Friday
• They offer paid Vacation Hours
• They offer insurance that would not only cover me but Marine also

The con's

• It would pay a $1 less an hour than I make now
• It's would be a commute of about an hour and half --- so have to figure in rising gas prices

If I were to be totally honest I really don't think its a job I would like. It's the same thing everyday. But I don't know till I try. 

The bottom line is it would give us insurance. Something which would save us about $600 a month. Plus if I have a job with insurance I know Marine won't join the reserves. Something I really don't want him to do.

The only other reason I hesitate is because Blondie says they would want me to start the end of April. 

A new job a week before the wedding? Thats a lot of extra stress.

Plus what about the honeymoon? I'm sure you have to work there so long before the vacation time kicks in.... Right now I have over 90 hours of paid time off saved up at my current job. I had planned on using some of this for the honeymoon and to take off the day before the wedding. I really can't go a week without a paycheck......

Ahhh what to do what to do.

All of these are questions I will address at the interview. But of course I worry about all the angles upfront. I mean heck they may not even offer me the job! But what if they do?

Which path is the right one to take? Do I stay at the job I enjoy? Or do I take a job that would be best for our family?

The Perfectionist In Me Should Be Shot

I got an email this morning that pretty much fit me to a T and kinda helps explain why I have been M.I.A. lately.....

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22) Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word.. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy.. Often shy. Pessimistic... 


Ok well maybe not all of it. But the first part. "The Perfectionist" part. SO TRUE! I have spent the better part of a month working on a website job. I have made not 1 not 2 but seriously...... are you ready for it?......... 12! 12 layouts! I have made 12 layouts for this company!!! Do you know how many of these I actually like? Zero. 


You read that right, Zero. I mean I like them but not enough to call any of them the "finished project". It all boils back down to that perfectionist aspect. I have finally figured out my problem. Design can only take a website so far. I mean what's the main thing you look at when you view a website? The pictures!


Despite how beautiful the design and layout is the pictures just don't look good enough. I've tweaked them as much as I can but still they just lack pizazz. Now I have to think of a nice way to tell the company this....

So if I would stop being a "perfectionist" and "worrying" so much I could maybe get it done and lose some stress! lol

The other part of that horoscope summary that is true is that I have to have the last word. Not sure why its just like some twisted law of nature.

Not sure that I agree with the "hard to please" part...... but maybe it is true at times....

Also last week Marine and I planted a garden. Maybe I'm stretching that slightly...... Marine plowed and planted a garden. I hoed and planted a strawberry patch :)

I have never had a garden before. Yeah some southern girl I am. lol I grew up on a horse farm. Horse being stressed in that sentence.

Marine's parents and his grandparents do a garden together every year. This year Marine has volunteered us to be a part of it as well. He made the garden about twice the size as it was last year. Just to give you an idea my little overachiever planted 75 pounds of potatoes. lol He plans on taking any excess to the local farmers market. I'm telling ya he's an 80 year old man trapped in a 24 year old body. Bless his heart gotta love him.

Since Marine got home everyone has wanted to visit with him, friends and family. Everyone is so happy he is home. One night last week we had diner at Red's parents house. I think I have mentioned before that Red's brother is Marine's BFF and best man (small world I know - lets name him Ford). Marine and Ford & Red's family's go way back.

Diner was steaks grilled on a Green Egg. I had heard how great these were but had never experienced one myself. It was a wonderful! Think Marine has definitely added one to the "things we need list"! :)

It was a fun night all the way around. I loved sitting and listening to Marine and Ford talk about crazy things they did over the years. And Red would chimed in with different stories like the time they helped her move while in college. Apparently they decided she had to much stuff and started dropping non-breakable boxes off her 3rd floor balcony. Needless to say they were never asked to help move again.

Saturday night we went over to Giggles and her husband's house. Giggles and I addressed shower invitations while the guys cooked fajitas. Giggles husband and Marine hit it off big time. He is also an ex marine so they have a lot in common.

At 1 a.m. I had to remind Marine we had 45 minute drive home.... I think there may be a new bromance brewing! Which is fine by me! Always great to spend time with Giggles :)

I'm still Zumba-ing away to! Dance and feel the burn! I'm still waiting for them to kick me out of the class due to lack of coordination.

 Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?

(Rachel taps into view. She is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)

Rachel: What? You just click when they click. 

~Friends~

Labor Day Weekend 2010

Happy Labor Day!!

So its Labor Day and I'm sitting at work laboring away........ ok maybe labor is a strong word there..... in reality I chose to work today instead of taking off and going to play. 

Are you asking yourself if I'm crazy? 

I mean choose to work?!

Yeah I know. As I gaze out at the beautiful day I ask myself that question to. 

But like most things there is actually a method to my madness. 

Marine will be home shortly and by working today that just means I have an extra paid day I can take off later. And after 7 months, trust me, there is a lot of time to make up!

But let me tell you about my weekend. It was not all work and no play.

Friday night I went out to diner with the future in-law family. Marines family - parents, brother, sister and grandparents. Diner was delicious brick oven pizza. SO YUMMY! I am so blessed to have such wonderful future in-laws. It's funny thinking back how nervous I was to begin with when Marine and I first started dating and now I am truly part of the family. 

I hear so many stories about monster in-laws and these stories always make me thankful of the family I am to become a part of!

Saturday I loaded up Horse and accompanied my mom and one of her friends to a local state park that had special designated trails for horses. 

The weather was perfect!! Low 80's with a cool breeze blowing occasionally. 

The perfect day to go riding in the woods. 

Unfortunately our map was not quite good...... translation IT SUCKED! There were different trails you could take. All marked with signs, but some signs that were not present on our map. 

That was ok though. I was out to enjoy the day and didn't have a particular destination in mind. 

I wasn't worried about getting lost, my philosophy was - you can always go back the way you came. 

So Horse and I stopped to enjoy the coolness of the creek. A minute after this picture was taken she was sure to splash so that I could feel the coolness of the creek as well....... Horse is considerate like that, always making sure I don't feel left out. 

It was a wonderful afternoon and definitely a place Marine and I are going to have to visit when he's home. 

There is nothing like the hint of fall in the mountains. 

Ok enough break --- got to get back to work ;)

Happy Labor Day ~ Hope you are all having a great one!!

A Day Late & A Dollar Short

A day late and a dollar short.

For some reason that slogan has been playing through my mind today.

Ever have those days? No matter what happens you feel like you've missed the bus?

This month I have felt that way. Like I can't quite catch up.

Take my day today for example:

In the morning I don't just get myself ready for the day ahead. I have many furry children who must also be prepared for the newly dawning day.

• Feed two dogs and a rabbit
• Go to the barn grain, hay and water seven horses.
• Turn several of the horses out for the day (but not all - we must rotate because some do not play nice with others)
• Feed barn dog and two barn cats

So besides getting myself ready that makes 13 others I also got ready for the day -- all before 8:30 a.m. Now I'm not complaining I love my animals and there is nothing more peaceful than being at the barn first thing in the morning. It's truly therapeutic.

Then I went to Job #1. Here I did the dance of answering phones, working on websites, fighting with the copy machine -- you know the typical day.

Then I went to Job #2. Worked feverishly trying to turn the paperwork mountain into a paperwork molehill. I needed to be out of the office by 5:30. At 5:30 the mountain had become a smaller foothill. I saved some stuff on my hard-drive to take home and do. 

In a rush I left the office and headed home to change out of my work slacks into jeans, t-shirt and old shoes. I headed to the barn to feed the horses again. Brought some horses in - let others out into the back field. 

Left to attend the Saddle Club work day. Worked at the Saddle Club till about 8:45 preparing the upcoming Horse Show we are hosting this weekend.

Went back to the barn and got the rest of the horses inside and settled for the night.

Got to the house around 9:15 and made a beeline for the shower. Took a steaming hot shower and then switched on my laptop. Threw some clothes in the washing machine, fed the rabbit and other two dogs. Settled down to finish up the paperwork I brought home from the office. Then logged into Godaddy to upload a website I had finished for a local landscaping company (I dabble in websites on the side). My FTP account is not wanting to connect. Get that fixed get the site uploaded. Finish up with rest of paperwork.

Go to take clothes out of washing machine to put in the dryer. I open the washing machine, it is still full of water!!! And the knob is on the rinse cycle but the machine is doing nothing...... I turn the knob around and putt on rinse and pull the knob. The machine kicks to life. I let it go a minute and then realize the water is not draining. It's just sloshing around.. Hmmmm.... I'm not "Washing Machine Maintenance Pro" but it doesn't take a genius to see something is wrong. 

I play around with the settings to no avail. 

I have no clue what to do. So I take my laundry basket and start filling it full of soaking wet clothes. I head to the bathroom where I kneel over the tub and rinse the clothes out then hanging them in random places to dry some. 

The washing machine is still full of water. And I admit I have no clue. 

Charlie: "Okay, I can do this. I just turn it on and stick 'em in."

Alan: "It's a washing machine, not a cocktail waitress."

~ Two & A Half Men ~

The Playing Field

So before going to bed most normal people make sure that they have set the coffee pot or something. I make sure that I have a Dr. Pepper in the refrigerator so it will be cold the next morning.

That has no relevance to the rest of the post. Just a fun fact I thought I would toss out there - because that is what I did last night before going to bed.

Wednesday has become my favorite day of the week. For one it means the week is half over, but more importantly it is usually the day Marine gets to call.

This morning at 6 a.m. my phone goes off and I nearly fall out of the bed trying to answer it. I don't wake up gracefully.

From the other end comes Marine's voice and for 20 minutes life is wonderful.

Sappy right?

Hate to tell you, you've got 7 more months of sappy (or 6 hopefully *fingers crossed*).

It was great just to hear his voice. But so many things to say that 20 minutes a week is not nearly enough. But we make do as I recap things from here; only telling the positive things. No sense telling him the 4runner is making a new funny noise. No need for him to worry.

For anyone else going thru deployment that is reading this the number one piece of advice I would like to give is: stay positive.

Don't tell your loved one of problems at home that he can not solve. After you have solved the problem then you can tell him about it if you must. But don't send a letter telling him of the problem unless you are also telling him you have solved it.

Marine has enough going on, he doesn't need to worry about me also.

Have I mentioned how great he is?

Well I'm sure you've heard my bitch/moaning/venting about being broke? And that my hours were cut back at work? And that I've picked up a 2nd job that doesn't pay as much but hey every little bit helps?

If not.... well that pretty much sums it up.

Like everyone in America money is tight.

And Marine and I are trying to save for the Wedding.

Before he left we opened a joint checking account and set it up on auto-deposit so that we both transfer so much money into it a month.

About a month ago Roomie's wife (Marine's roommate on base's wife) invited me to Vegas for her birthday in July. I've never been to Vegas and would love to go. But last I checked round trip flight was $350. Which is embarrassingly almost more than I make in a week now with the cut hours.

Marine: "So are you flying out for Roomie's wifes birthday?"

Me: "Tickets are to expensive... I'm going to keep checking and if I can find a cheap flight I would like to go."

Marine: "You should go, you need to go do something fun. Take money out of the joint account and buy a ticket."

Me: "No I'm not going to do that!"

Marine: "Why not?"

Me: "Because you are putting more money than I am into that account and I'm not spending your money."

Marine: "It's our money. Besides I'm over here for 7 months. It's not like I'm spending any money. It's ok if you splurge. Besides I think it would be good for you and Roomie's wife to get together."

Me: "We'll see."

And I change the subject.

When in a relationship I like to be equals. On an equal playing field.

But what happens when your not? What happens when you are still haunted by the past that you can't seem to get rid of?

Marine is very money smart. Quite the little saver.

Yep, I used to be like that, and one day I plan on being so again. But I am still paying off debt from X. Now I can't blame my debt on him entirely but I can at least a good 85% of it.

Why am I responsible for the debt of the relationship and X left squeaky clean? Because sometimes its worth it to get rid of them.

Marine knows about my debt and I hope to have it paid off before we get married. But with baby showers, and four close friends getting married within the next 6 months (three of which I am in) - the debt pay off plan has taken a major hit.

So saying that I am tight when it comes to spending money is putting it a little mildly.

I appreciated Marine's offer to pay for the plane ticket. But at the same time I don't want him to pay for it - I want to be able to on my own.

What do you think?

Relationships and love are blind, so they say. I love Marine and I know he loves me despite my flaws and imperfections. But I don't want my past to affect my future. I want us to be on an equal field.

But then I guess in away you never really are. One partner will always make more money than the other (more than likely).

So now it's your turn to weigh in: Vegas or no Vegas?

Rachel: (Picking up the phone) Hello? Vegas? Yes, we would like some more alcohol, and you know, we would like some more beers too... hello? Oh wait... I forgot to dial. (There is a knock at the door)

Ross: That must be our alcohol and beers

~ Friends ~

I Wish I Could Make This Stuff Up

Friday was an interesting day.

To say the least.

The printer tore up at work and since I'm the youngest person in our office it is automatically assumed that I shall be the one to fix it. Even though let's face it I really have no clue. But I do give it some great effort and determine ~ and after a Google search and trying multiple things I diagnose that it's the printer. Even when unplugged from the computer it still prints strange symbols never stopping the insanity until the paper tray is empty.

By 1 o'clock I am ready to hit it with a baseball bat. Instead I take a deep breath and escape to go grab some lunch.

It is a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L day!!

On the way to pick up lunch I swing thru the ATM to take out some cash for the weekend. I recently received a new debit card, and I thought I knew the pin. [ Thought being the key word in this sentence. ] After two failed attempts I retrieve my debit card in fear that a third attempt will cause the machine to eat my card.

No biggie I will just write a check for Cash, go thru the drive-thru and cash it. Simple.

Have I mentioned I live in a small town?

Just making sure you remember.

And X's current Girlfriend, Physco-Bitch, works at this particular bank.

As luck would have it I pull into the drive-thru and there she is behind the window. Yep that fits right into the day I've been having.

She looks surprised to see me - maybe because I usually avoid the drive-thru by taking my banking needs inside.

I smile and say hello.

The drawer opens and I place my check inside. As the drawer slowly closes a nice spring breeze blows through and catches my check lifting it out of the drawer and thus begins it's flight across the parking lot.

Physco and I meet eyes both surprised by this turn of events. The difference being she has a glint in her eye pleased and the glint in my eye is panic as my signed check blows across the parking lot.

I jump out of the 4runner - leaving it running and still parked in the drive thru - and dash to catch the check that has now come to a landing.

As I near the wind catches it again and carries it further out of my grasp.

This really happened.

I dash and stomp on it before the next breeze comes through. I pick it up and make my way back to the window. I just laugh.

I mean really what else can you do?

Physco seems surprised at my laughter. As the drawer opens I say with laughter, "well that seems about right for the type of day I've had."

You would think she would laugh to. But no. She seems bummed that I wasn't upset by the event.

As she finishes my transaction and sends my cash back thru the drawer I smile, "Have a great weekend."

This is met with a smirk and stony silence.

Ah well can't please them all.

I pull away knowing that this story will be spread like wildfire and that the majority of the population will probably know about it before I get back to work.

I wish I could make this stuff up. Really.

Jules "When you act like you don't want to talk to me, it just makes me want to talk to you even more."

Grayson "That may be the world's most annoying personality trait."

~ Cougar Town ~

Never Stop Learning

You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.

This goes against my Virgo nature entirely! I want to please all the people all the time. I can't help it. Maybe it's a genetic defect or something.

So a few weeks ago an opportunity arose to make some extra money. And right now I'm sure we all could use a little extra money. Thru a connection I have I sometimes get the opportunity to clean houses that have gone into foreclosure but are in the process of being purchased. Hollywood and I have went in together and have done a few jobs. We go in and clean the best we can (in that some of these houses are trashed!) and do our part in making the place look it's best for the soon to be owners. WE never actually speak to the new owners, we go in clean and get paid. It normally works well.

This time was a little different. The house had already closed and the owners asked my contact if they knew of anybody to do a pre-move-in cleaning. Hollywood and I were recommended. We go with the contact to check out the house. The house is in excellent condition and appears to be a breeze compared to the past houses. No trash to haul off, no cabinets to clean out - just clean, polish and shine. Seemed easy enough. But something in my gut told me not to take the job.

Hollywood and I cover exactly what is expected of us and due to the size of the house we set a price.

Several days pass and my contact confirms to me that Hollywood and I have the job.

Still I am filled with a sense of foreboding. But foolishly I push the feelings aside.

This past Saturday Hollywood and I arrived at the house a little before 9 a.m. and begin to unload the car. Once inside Hollywood sorts thru the cleaning supplies and I plug in the radio. I mean got to have music to keep up beat, right?

Like an unspoken agreement we know which areas are ours and I immediately begin to fill my bucket with a mixture of Murphy's Oil and water. First I vacuum out the cabinets and drawers and then I begin to scrub..... all 26+ kitchen cabinets. We work silently every once in awhile humming to the music or verifying that something has already been done. We mop, clean windows, dust light fixtures, polish doors, wipe down iron staircase rods............. and the list goes on and on and on.

Shortly after 3 I am finishing vacuuming out the last air vent as Hollywood puts the finishing touches on the kitchen counter. We turn off the water, drain the water lines (per instructions) and do a final walk thru. Everything looks spotless.

The nagging feeling I get deep inside is still present. As Hollywood loads the car I go thru the house again trying to reassure myself everything looks good. I admit to myself that it does, yet the feeling remains.

Yesterday Hollywood calls me and says the people are dissatisfied, and were very rude to her over the phone. She apologized and said that we have never had a complaint and of course we would make it right. She asks the husband and wife what was wrong. They begin to list things that were not discussed previously, mainly exterior stuff when it was made very clear upfront that we cleaned interior only. The only exception we had made when we gave them the quote was that we would clean the 2 decks and front porch of all leaves and debris. Which we did.

Hollywood tells them this and despite their rudeness apologizes for any confusion on our part and says we will return and complete the things on their list. Because it's obvious at this point they are looking for an excuse not to have to pay us.

The woman snidely remarks, "and the garage doesn't even look as if it were touched."

According to Hollywood she kept her calm, and reminded the woman that when we did the pre-walk thru she said just to sweep the out the garage if we had time, that it was no big deal it would get dirty again soon anyway. As if it were no big deal. Thankfully I could tell this lady would be a bitch so I swept the garage out - clearing out the dirt, grim, and leaves. Hollywood explains to her that we did sweep out the garage but again we are sorry she is dissatisfied and we will be sure to go over it again.

I perhaps take all this to personal. Because:
A) I have never had a bad job review
B) I am an over achiever

and also of course I hate that my contact recommended us and this may now reflect on them.

Sometimes it really helps to just vent.

I think that it is important that we never stop learning. And despite, or inspite, of this situation I have learned a few lessons:

1. Next time get the expectations/instructions in writing beforehand

2. Take before and after pictures so that the "he said - she said" part is eliminated and we will have proof of what the place looked life before we cleaned.

3. Always listen to your gut instinct..... from the get go my gut was telling me not to take this job. I just knew it. Normally I go with my instincts, from here on out I will try to ALWAYS go with my instincts.


And for my Virgo, people pleaser, can't stand negative feedback, wants to please everybody - personality.... well I don't think there is much I can change about that.

Ross, (About Chandler cleaning the apartment) "Look, Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind of stuff. Believe me, I lived with her for sixteen years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you."

~ FRIENDS ~

There's Just Never Enough Time

So for the past few weeks I have attempted (attempted being the key word here) to write numerous posts. All of which had a specific subject, etc. I start the new post. Write a few witty sentences. And then something happens to: A) distract me B) cause me to return to work C) or the phone rings. Anyway the end result is all the posts are left unfinished and I am left with just not enough hours in the day!

So I never finished up the last of my trip. To sum it up it was amazing! I had a wonderful time.


Thanksgiving - went to my grandparents, and took Marine to his first family function. All was going good till my bitch of a cousin called Marine by X's name. I foresaw this coming. She is one of those type of people and I expected nothing less of her than some sort of embarrassment. Marine handled the situation well and didn't acknowledge the mistake out loud but it was apparent to me that he caught it. (discussion followed later when just the two of us, he takes things in stride well.) Other than that the day was smooth and I think the family really like him.

That evening we met Vixen, VB, and Marine's Best Friend and went and watched the lighting of the Macy's tree. It was beautiful and the concert before hand was quite good to. Fun times.



The weekend after Thanksgiving we went to Marine's family's Thanksgiving diner. I met the whole family and things went good.



Work has been busy which is great! And my secondary jobs have been very busy keeping me up till nearly midnight. Which is great, I need the money.



This past weekend was Christmas Party weekend! Vixen's office party was Friday night and I go with her every year. And every year her boss buys tons of alcohol and then we play a game. I ended up coming hope with a bottle of Grey Goose and Vixen a Crate Barrel wine glass set.



Saturday night was my office Christmas party. It to went smoothly. I went with Office Mom (not my real mom but I'm sure everyone has an office mom) and we snuck out early. I mean I like most of the people I work with but not enough to hang out with them all night. And the main people I love from work weren't there so I was eager to get home to my nice warm bed.

Sad. I know.

Sunday, now Sunday was a big day for me. It was Marine's family Christmas.

Marine was still on base mind you.



Marine's mom invited me to the family thing early last week. And we all know that I do not say no very well. So after much inner debate (and advice from friends) I decided to go. So my first Christmas with Marine's family I attended solo.

I'm not even going to lie..... I was a nervous wreck.

But I thought of it like Barrel Racing.... I'm always nervous when I'm sitting waiting for my turn, but once in the shoot it's like that part of your mind shuts down and you do what comes natural.

Like the comparison? So I knew I would be nervous before hand but sure that once I got there things would go good.

I was right. It went wonderful. Everyone was nice and treated me just like one of the family. Every year their tradition is that they all get gifts for the small kids but the adults play a game. Marine's grandma buys a bunch of random items (all the way from toilet paper and laundry detergent to bath body works items and tools). All of it is stuff you would actually use. Which is nice. I mean have you bought toilet paper lately? Not cheap.

All the items are spread around on the kitchen island and everyone gathers around. His Grandma then pulls out a stack of envelopes and you go around the circle and drawing one when it is your turn. Each envelope has a slip of paper in it saying: Pick 1, Pick 2, Oops! (you get passed), telling you to pick a present for someone else, or telling you do something silly. There were approximately 4, yes 4 silly cards. And it would be my luck that I would I draw one.

I promised myself before going that I would not do anything to embarrass myself at this first family Christmas. WRONG. After several rounds it is once again my turn. I pull open the envelope and pull out the paper seeing writing scribbled all over it. Before reading it I know its not going to be good. One uncle has already had to sing 'I'm to Sexy', Marine's step-dad has had to sing Blue Christmas while doing his best Elvis move, and the other Uncle has had to make race car noises. I read the card aloud.

Now I should once again reiterate that I live in the south where every man hunts (well any guys guy). My card says that Marine's Grandpa has to teach me how to do a hog call. After which we both can pick a present.

Everyone laughs and I'm not sure who looks more like a deer in the headlights; Grandpa or myself. As he tries to control his laughter Grandpa does a hog call. I am laughing so hard I am nearly in tears and my face is the darkest shade of red you can imagine. I AM SO EMBARRASSED! All eyes are on me now. And everyone is laughing along with me.

I try to catch my breath, I put my hands up to mouth in imitation and do it. Not quite like Grandpa did but taking in to factor the embarrassment and my hurry to get it over, it was ok.

Everyone continues to laugh (including me) as I reach in to pick a present. I go with bath salts figuring I will need to wind down after this. Grandma puts her arm around me and hugs me, laughing and teasing me about how red my face is as Grandpa and the Uncles all laugh saying I did well. Marine mom is still doubled over in laughter and I think is officially crying at this point.

After that round I was cautious when reaching for an envelope.

I had fun and was glad I went. Marine's family was very welcoming. And if that was some kind of initiation..... I think I passed.

Carrie, "It's just smooth sailing, nothing but calm seas and blue horizons, as far as the eye can see. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Miranda, "Absolutely! There's not a cloud in sight."

Carrie, "We adore each other, we have fun together, we mesh."

~ Sex and the City ~

Girls Diner

Monday night the girls (Vixen, Giggles, Nurse Betty) and I headed to meet Vivi. It was great to have diner with my girls and catch up. Vivi had brought along a friend from work, who I think we overwhelmed with our non-stop banter and naturally crazy selves. And I'm sure it's safe to say will probably never want to be seen with us again.

The absence of alcohol on the table was not the only change that has taken place. Vivi is now married to her job which seems to be an abusive lover but has its advantages so she sticks with it. Nurse Betty is pregnant and due this next month to deliver a girl that will be spoiled relentlessly by her numerous 'non-blood related' aunts. Giggles is blissfully happy with her unemployment/housewife status in which she swears she does not grow bored. Vixen well I'm still trying determine Vixen's transformation..... I think she is just stressed to the gill. And as for myself well somethings change and some remain the same.

Perhaps it has to do with the changing of seasons but it always seems that at this time of year I start to self-evaluate. And no matter what I always seem to score low. And once again I am overwhelmed with the feeling that I am not where I should be in life. Career wise mainly. I like my job ok.... but lets face the facts - it is a job that barely (barely) pays the bills and is not even remotely related to my field of interest/degree. I know that I am the only one that can change that aspect but in a small town the options are limited. I would love to move but just to many factors; lack of money, horse, my widowed mom, etc. To many strings.

Ok maybe I just needed to bitch a minute.

Monica, "Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages, and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision."

~ Friends ~

Will Power

I have no will power. No will power when it comes to chocolate, caffeine, donuts, or men ~ or really cute high heel shoes that I know I won't ever really wear but I get satisfaction out of seeing them in my closet. Anyway. Back to will power. So an associate my company does business with came by yesterday morning and brings us a box (fresh box I might add) of Krispy Kream Donuts. She places them in the kitchen. Like a moth to a flame I am drawn to the box. It smells wonderful!!

I curse her jokingly telling her she is ruining what little self control I have. Of course I give in to the temptation and eat the donut, all the while knowing that it is going straight to the back of my legs where just weeks ago I first discovered cellulite. Yeah, no will power.

This morning I come into work. Of course the donuts are still there. And even though they are not as fresh as they were yesterday they still look mighty inviting. Ah what the hell, the fat girl inside me just can't resist.

The Assistant

A few weeks ago my office decided to participate in a program thru the local high school where you hire a high school student to work part time during the summer break.



The young girl comes in and during the interview process I hear my boss tell her that she will my assistant.... My assistant? I have never had an assistant so I'll be honest I was a little excited. But then I was struck with the thought that some days I'm really not that busy..... Oh well heck I'll have an assistant for a few months. Cool.



At least that was my initial thought.



Weeks later I am ready to kill her! And I am not a violent person.



It started when I came in last week to find a virus on my computer. I had been at the other office and had given her a stack of work and told her she could use my computer versus the one that is back in the windowless office that I like to think of as the dungeon. I thought I was being nice.



I am semi-ok when it comes to computers and I am able to quarantine the virus, get it removed and then get things back to normal. I give her severe warning about using caution when accessing the internet - No Myspace, don't download anything, etc. But yet I am to nice and try to do this in a non-accusing nice manner.



So this past weekend... she works on Saturdays. All she has to do is answer the phone. NOT HARD!! I come into work Monday morning and my monitor has a blue sticky note on it...... that reads:

To E, I was listening to music on you tube and a virus poppped up.

I ball the sticky up and while biting my tounge toss it into the wastebasket as I press the power button. Now I have used You Tube a fair share and I have yet to get a virus from it, but ok say that is what happened.



The computer boots up and it may as well be a ship that is under fire and sinking fast. Viruses are everywhere and multipling it seems by the minute. Of course they have locked down my anti-virus program so I'm on my own in the battle.



Windows Security Suite.... is on the desk top. I have a feeling it is not what it appears to be. I go the dungeon and google it. Yep it's a parasite. I work on the computer for 2 hours before throwing up my hands and giving up. I unplug everything, put the computer tower in the 4runner and head cross town to the computer guy.



2 days and 75 dollars later I have the computer back. The assistant (I now use the term loosely) is still alive. I was as nice as I could be about the situation. I banished her to the dungeon and as punishment gave her stuff to keep her busy so that she could get no viruses on that computer as well. I STRESS to her no myspace!! Nothing but company related websites.



I leave her to work and head back to my desk. A short time later I head back to the dungeon to give her something I had forgotten about. When I enter I notice her hit the minimize button on the browser rather quickly. I approach the desk and review the items on the contract with her. She nods but I can tell she is not really listening. Curiously my eyes glance up to the screen. And there in the minimized tray.... Myspace.

Hello?? I point to and lightheartedly say "NO MYSPACE." She says sorry. I leave.

But really I understand she is young but total lack of respect here! And I mean if I knew I had done something that cost $75 to fix I would be extremely careful. Why are some younger generations just so lax? I need to get mean!

"Of course I believe in evil -- I work in real estate."

~ Edie, Desperate Housewives ~

We Went Out Last Night

Friday work seemed to drag by... I mean I was busy. My desk was overflowing with projects that needed to be finalized, I had a ribbon cutting to attend at 11 (wow sounded like Vivi right then), and literally a million and one things I had to get done before the weekend..... Which is why I came in early so that I could leave early!

With one eye on the clock all day the minutes seemed to drag by.

When 4:30 rolled around my computer was already off and I was half way out the door.

I met Hollywood thru my stuff in her Honda and we were off! Gotta love road trips and blasting out to the random stuff that can be found on my ipod. Every couple of hours Marine2 would call to check on our progress and make sure we were ok.

This small simple gesture meant so much to me. The fact that he wasn't out at a bar drinking while waiting on us spoke a lot to me.

After getting stuck in traffic and taking a slight detour (detour just sounds better than getting lost) we arrived at the hotel a little after 2 a.m. The guys had already checked in and were waiting on us. We sat up and chatted for about an hour then I was out.

The next morning after breakfast at Chick-fil-a (I mean who can resist those wonderful mini's!) we were off to visit the base. After a quick tour we headed to the beach.

Awe!! Toes in the sad = excellent!! The day was hot though and and it didn't take long for us to hit the water. The water was cold at first as I plunged in. But soon my body adapted and the warm sun helped to make it just right.

Before long Hollywood and Marine Buddy headed back for the sand and Marine2 and I remained letting the waves crash around us. He took my hand and pulled me close holding me in an embrace as we floated. There in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean the conversation came up. The one I knew would eventually but also one that I wasn't sure I was ready for..... What are we doing? And where is this going?

I laid it all on the line. I told him I liked him but that I wasn't sure I was really ready for anything serious. He to was honest and said that he had vowed not to have a relationship until he got out of the Marines. But then we both agreed that we could actually see this working. Mainly because I have my own life. On weekends I stay so busy with horse shows it won't be as hard not getting to see him. I mean it will be hard but not like I'm sitting at home mopping I guess.

He said he didn't want to date anyone else and I told him I haven't met anyone else I am interested in dating either. We said we were free to date other people but had to give the other a heads up first. But that neither one of us could really see that happening.

So when I stepped into the ocean I was a single girl with a huge crush and when I got out I had somehow found myself in........ a semi-relationship? Shake of head.

We sit in the sand for a bit but then hunger takes over so we head down the beach in search of food. A blue building with a large crab reading Crabby Mikes draws us in. The food was good but the company was better. Marine Buddy and Hollywood had decided to share a combination of shrimp and fried oysters. I admit I have never tried oysters before so the two encourage me to try them. Marine2 tells me I'm not going to like it. I refuse to admit he knows me well enough yet to know what I will like or dislike so almost wanting to prove him wrong I take it and put in my mouth. And chew. Ew Ew Ew!!! Squishy and...... Yuck! I swallow it..... apparently with a God awful look on my face. Which earned me an "I told you so". Damn ~ point to him, I guess.

After lunch we headed back to the hotel to shower and get ready for the evening ahead. But lets face it we had been out on the beach in the hot sun all day. After which a nap is always needed. So while one person showered the rest of us napped and revolved in shifts.

The game plan was to go to a sports bar right by the hotel and watch the UFC fight with a bunch of their marine friends. The fight didn't start till 10 so Marine2 suggest we return to base and watch a movie at the theater.

A quick call though tells us the movie started early and we have missed it....... ok so we pile in the Honda and head to the nearby theater at the mall. Now Marine2 has already warned me there isn't much to do in this military town. As we approached the theater I could tell this must be true. Every movie for 7:30 was sold out. Even the bad ones you know that no one really wants to see.

So we decide to go ahead and grab a bite to eat. We head to a Mexican restaurant that they claim to be good.

After we returned to the sports bar. Still a little over an hour before the fight is to start the place is packed with a line waiting out the door. We laugh and just turn around and Marine Buddy pulls out his phone. We had been invited to one of their friends house to watch the fight also. So the group that was going to the sports bar changed route and headed to the friends house.

There were about 10 marine guys total along with some girlfriends and significant others. All seemed so different and some perhaps would have not been friends given another time or place but the bond that these guys had awed me. All had went to Iraq together and had a deeper relationship than even I could have anticipated. They were all great guys and welcomed Hollywood and myself with open arms as if we were already friends, not strangers they had met only minutes before.

It was a great night and one of the funnest I have had in awhile. After the fight to much beer had been consumed to drive so we called a cab and headed back for the hotel. Someone had the great idea (not really sure who... but I suspect Hollywood) that we go to the sports bar, which was now clearing out, and have a shot. I was at the happy place. Not drunk, yet not sober. A good buzz. We approached the bar and Hollywood ordered a round of lemon drops, no, no, no! After lemon drop night no way!! Uh huh not doing one. So I tell the bartender I want a shot of Jack instead. Maybe not my brightest moment but definitely better than doing a lemon shot.

We hold our glasses in a cheers as we ask someone to take our picture. Then with a cheers its down the hatch. Been awhile since I've done Jack (ordered for Vivi who I miss and did a toast to before turning it up). As it hit my stomach I felt myself go over the edge. I waved goodbye to the buzzed me and crossed the bridge to tipsy-ville. And my stomach tells me the shot was not such a good idea.

< br />And right before I take the shot Vixen (my mood ring) calls and knows exactly what I'm doing. I swear we have esp sometimes. I missed her and wished she would have come but believe it or not she has actually met her own crush.

I'm tired, its been a long couple of weeks. As Marine Buddy and Hollywood order another shot Marine2 asks if I'm ready to go back to the hotel. I nod. So hand in hand we bid the other two ado (who really didn't seem to mind we were leaving) and headed back to the hotel.

We lay there in the dark talking and maybe it was the beer that gave us the courage. But next thing I know he's saying that he really does like me, etc. And the next thing I know we agree that we are definitely just going to date each other.

And for those wondering no we did not hook up. He is very much a gentleman. I think this really has the possibility of turning into something and I want to take it slow. But let's be honest Sunday I really was not ready to leave!!

Funny Quotes From The Weekend

After being in the car forever!! It is after 1am and we are still driving

E, "We're getting close I think I see a plam tree!!"

Driving closer and both of us looking up out the windshield.

Hollywood, "Nope sick pine tree."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vixen, "Ok your never allowed to go anywhere without me again! You leave, you get drunk, and you come home with a boyfriend."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hollywood on the way there, "So you nervous."

E, "No."

Hollywood, "Really?"
E, "Well I wasn't till you asked! Now you got me wondering if I should be."

moment of silence

E, "You nervous?"

Hollywood, "No why would I be?..... Ok maybe just a little bit."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marine2, "Just me and you."

Samantha, "He did something to me that was so perverse! Okay, I'm just going to say it. He tried to hold my hand."

Carrie, "You mean to tell me that Smith is a hand-holder? And to think he once served us food."

~ Sex & The City ~