TMI Thursday ~ Bedroom Edition

Welcome to another TMI Thursday, where I step out of my shy box and tell you information you'd probably rather not know.

So this past weekend Marine and I got in a little tiff..... more like debate.

It was silly. I don't even remember what it was about.

Ok, that's a lie. I'm like an elephant. I remember everything.

It was silly though.

We resolve the misunderstanding and are laying in bed watching American Pickers. Ever watched this show? It's GREAT!

Well its a little after 11 and I'm starting to drift off.

Marine leans over and kisses me. It's clear what his mind is on and where he see's these kisses going.

"I'm not in the mood."

He leans up and looks at me with an utter look of surprise on his face that can be seen from the light coming from the TV.

"I knew you were still mad!"

"I'm not mad. It's not like I have a switch that can just be flipped on and off."

"Seems I flipped it off awfully easy," he mutters laying back down beside me with his arm around me.

I laugh as I snuggle down beside him.

He rolls onto his side wrapping his other arm around me. "I thought women couldn't start withholding sex till after they were married......." He ponders.

Ross: Well, yeah. I can't... I can't stay here all night, and if I go in there she's... she's gonna wanna... do stuff.

Rachel: Can't you just tell her that you are not in the mood?

Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesn't work either, I can't tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
Rachel: Ooohhh...
Ross: Ooohhh, okay! Yeah, why am I telling you that?
Rachel: I don't know.

~ Friends ~

Pure Romance

Friday night I met Giggles after work and headed to Nurse-Betty's house for a Pure Romance party.

Ever been to one?

Over the years I have been to several but this was by far the best yet!

I sat crammed on the lush love-seat with Vixen and Giggles each of us inspecting the items being passed around.

Let me tell ya this party sure would have come in handy a few months back and would have perhaps aided me in making a wiser decision.

I wasn't as embarrassed as I had expected to be, perhaps 6 months of no sex will do that to ya.

The only thing that would have made the party more fun would have been cocktails  [no pun intended].

My at the selection! Oils, Lotions, Lip Glosses, Books, Games, Toys.... the list is endless.

Behind a closed door the orders were placed.

Like we really weren't going to tell each other what we ordered.

After placing our orders Giggles, Vixen and I left and went to our favorite Mexican restaurant for a late diner. We are barely seated when Vixen blurts out, "So what did ya'll order?!"

Giggles and I laugh and we wait as the waiter sets down the salsa and chips and takes our drink order.

Giggles tells us of her less than risqué purchase.

Vixen looks at me and without even blushing I tell them.

"OH MY GOSH!!! I can't believe you ordered that............ I was actually curious about that one." Vixen admits.

"Me to!" exclaims Giggles, "I can't believe you ordered it."

I shrug, "I think it'll be a good homecoming gift for Marine."

Vixen, "Uh yeah!" She munches on a chip, "when did you become the adventurous one of us?"

"I think around month four," I say with a laugh.

TMI Thursday ~ The Pink One

Ok..... I can't believe I'm about to do this.

Yes you read it right. I have chosen to participate in my first and probably last TMI Thursday.

Now like everybody, I have more of these stories than you would ever want to know. SO consider this your fair warning ~ if you don't want to know, stop reading now. Come back tomorrow. And those that continue to read; please don't judge me.

At 27 *ahem, ahem*, I mean 26 round 2, I have never owned a personal toy (PT)- my polite way of saying vibrator.

Let's face it, I'm an uptight bitch that:

1) would not have a clue what do it with it if I had one

and

2) I've never needed one

Well let's just focus on the first reason.

Marine being the loving fiancée that he is.... added to his list of things to do before he left - Buy E a PT.

So while up for deployment week we visited an adult store.

You think this would be an easy decision.

In and out.............. (maybe I should have went with a different choice of words).

OMG!! Row, after row of PT's. Different shapes, sizes, colors. You name it.

And Marine has to look at every single one of them determined, despite my embarrassment, to pick out the one that will be perfectly suited for me. Even though he is just as clueless as I am but I refuse to let him ask the salesgirl for help. Which I am nearly sure he would have.

Marine, "Which one do you like?"
Me not really looking, "I don't know..."

"How bout this one?"

A funny look.

"This one?" he tries again.

Another skeptical look...

"Well let's ask and see which one they sell the most of."

"NO!!! This one will work. This one is good."

You get the picture. See told you up tight bitch. That's me.

Finally I take a deep breath and realize that:

1) The lady behind the counter and the sales girl are not secretly taking our picture and posting it online for the world to see.

2) I am in a different state - the chances of running into someone I know is non-existent

3) I need to learn to not be so uptight

So with a deep breath I finally decide to act like the mature 26-round-2-year-old that I am and with my wonderful fiancée embrace this hopefully once in a life time moment.

He has narrowed it down to three. Me knowing nothing about this type of shopping pick the pink one.

Yes I based this decision solely on color.

The other choices were purple and silver. Neither one very eye appealing.

But at the time I told myself that it would never be used anyway -- it would be stashed in my underwear drawer from here to eternity, and it would make Marine happy to think that I would be taken care of during those lonely nights in his absence.

Curiosity however got the best of me. We will just leave it at that.

Like loosing your virginity, the first time is always awkward. Because you really don't know what your doing.

Let's just say I understand why the variety now.

Carrie, "I'm not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device."

Miranda, "You haven't met 'The Rabbit.' "

Samantha, "Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called 'The Horse.' ”

~ Sex and the City ~

{ This quote cracks me up!! Makes me think of Giggles less famous Quote }

Sex And Spanx

So before I tell you about this weekend, I still need to tell you about last weekend.

Last Saturday I received a nice surprise.

Vivi was in my neck of the woods for a random lunch date. So of course I pretty much demand she see me while over here and then I proceed to nag her, text her, and basically do anything I can to get her to meet up with me after the date. Can you tell I've missed her?

She caved perhaps in fear that if she didn't I would not leave her alone. And she was probably right. :)

So she met me. I was at a Saddle Club Trade Day, so I had to take Horse home first before we could go out.

After exchanging my Ariets for tennis shoes we head to a local pub for diner and a beer. We sip our beers laughing and enjoying the food and conversation as we catch up on each others lives.

We are sitting at the bar and another girl I know is sitting to my right. She mentions that X was at the pub earlier.

I dismiss her comment. Saying no big deal. We get along, I would say hi if I ran into him.

Girl, "Wow thats really great. I don't know if I could be like that to any of my ex's."

Me, "Awe I'm happy that he and Physco-Bitch (yes this should be her name) are happy and I'm sure he feels the same about Marine and I. We're still on good terms."

"That's good cause their right down there." She points to the other end of the bar.

I stop my beer half way to my mouth. "What? He's here?"

Vivi's starts dying laughing, "Where? Where?" She spots them, "So does all that still apply?"

I blush a little, "yes it does."

We continue to eat. And I ignore the end of the bar where they are seated.

"I haven't been here for almost two damn years, and I'm in town one night..." Vivi laughs.

"Yeah gee thanks, I haven't seen him in about that long," I laugh.

I mean what else can you do but laugh?

We get up to leave. I have convinced myself that I will be the bigger person and that when we pass them, which we have to as we head towards the door, I will say hi - be polite and keep on walking.

As I walk I have my head sideways saying bye to the others at the bar. My head is turned and I am walking. I run smack dab into someone. I mean head hits chest - full blown run in.

I say sorry as I look forward...... and stare directly in the face of my X (he was headed to the bathroom). I literally just ran into him. Not exactly how I expected this whole "we can be friends thing to go".

I apologize say hi, how are you, and keep on walking.

Vivi is trying not to laugh as she to greets him.

You would think we could flee freely now but oh no. A guy friend and his girlfriend have come in and joined X and Physco-Bitch for diner. This guy friend jumps up and meets us. He says hi and then quickly starts talking to Vivi because he also has not seen her in forever. I am left standing there. Physco-Bitch shooting me daggers with her eyes.

I do the only thing I know how to do. I smile, say hi and try to make polite conversation.

Then as soon as Vivi escapes Guy friend we leave. And soon as we are out of sight burst into fits of giggles.

I love Vivi.

We proceed to go to a benefit for Blondie's aunt. Here we meet up with other friends.

This is followed by a late night trip to Waffle House. With three of our other friends and one of the friends mother's. Nothing like a late night trip to Waffle House where friends mother advises said friend how to keep Spanx from getting in the way of sex.

Yes, it did happen.

Friend, "Thank god I had on spanx otherwise I might have been drunk enough to have slept with him!"

Friends mom, "So how did the spanx stop you?"

Friend (so not wanting to have this conversation but has been thrown under the bus by another friend), "Because mother do you really think I could just whip them off right there? I mean hello dad was there!!"

Friends mom, "So? It wasn't like he was right there at your shoulder!"

Friend, "MOM!!"

Completely ignoring her, "You know what you need to do? Just cut you a whole in 'em. That way next time you won't have to worry about it."

She says this dead seriously.

"Oh my gosh!!" I laugh hysterically!

Friend Mom, "What?"

Other friend, " I can't believe you just said that."

Vivi is laughing so hard I think she is going to cry. Friend's face is so red it looks like a stop sign and me and other friend are just laughing.

Friend Mom, "Well I'm just trying to help her get laid!!"

Yes this over hash-browns is quite interesting.

Finally Vivi and I made it back to the house. Yep, I even talked her into staying the night. We had a late night pow-wow. It was great to catch up.

Each of my friends I love for different reasons. They are all special to me in different ways.

Vivi is my all around friend. The one I can cry with, laugh with, and anything else in between. Plus we always have fun!

I hope this summer we can have some more fun times.

So yeah all this happened in about a 6 hour time span. Definitely an interesting night.

Miranda, "Okay, I'm definitely in the slow sexual group if even Charlotte is open to this."

~ Sex and the City ~

Don't forget to enter my Giveaway!!! Click HERE

I Don't Care About Your Band

I've always known that I'm naive. And I have faced the fact that I had a very sheltered childhood.

But wow.

I never realized how naive I really was till I started reading I Don't Care about Your Band, in which Julie Klausner tells: "What I've learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Felons, Faux Sensitive Hipsters, and other guys I've dated."

She talks about growing up and her first experiences with Adult magazines - I think she was in Middle School.

I was at least 18 when I saw my first Play Boy up close and personal. My best guy friend/ big brother figure was 22. Me and some girl friends were over at his house, as I was most summer days. Long story short; he was at work, we found it, flipped thru it and shared some giggles.

She goes on to tell about the guys from over the years; The lessons she learned and funny stories that relate.

Some stories make you laugh out loud, others made me question my own life and ponder again just how sheltered and innocent I possibly am. And I'll be honest some of the stories were so disgusting they made me want to gag. But for some reason no matter what happened I couldn't put the book down and walk away. I had to know what happened next.

She talks about the guys we all date or want to date. For example: The musician -" Crushing on musicians is a phase most straight girls go through, and some never get over."

Yep, been there done that.

Developed a crush on a guy just because he could play the guitar and sing. Without the guitar.... yeah not so much. But when he would pick up that guitar and begin to play I couldn't help but become memorized. It was just so darn sexy!

Needless to say we went on a date.

Without the guitar.

And the attraction just wasn't there. He was nice, said and did all the right things - but it was obvious to me he would always remain in the friend box. At the time I thought - what a shame. I mean who doesn't want a guy to write her love songs and play them before going to bed.

So now for the exciting part---- Are you ready?

I'm doing my first giveaway!!!!

One lucky reader will receive a free (FREE) copy of Julie Klausner's book. And the rest of you..... yeah your going to have to go out and buy it. But believe me, you'll be glad you did.

SO to enter the giveaway you must leave a comment on this post. Easy enough.

And if you so choose I would like you to tell me about someone you dated that fit into a stereotype category. You know what I mean everyones done it! - The jock, the musician, the guy who's questioning their sexuality..... you get the picture. This is not a requirement to enter, but I would love to hear your stories!!

I will run the contest till April 1st. (also if your an anonymous blogger and win thats ok! All information can be kept anonymous - contact me at lifeofasinglegirl@gmail.com for more details)

Thanks everybody! Good luck!

The Singe Girls Bible ~ Cosmo

In high school my friends and I would buy magazines with headlines that read like a how to guide for men. "How to turn him on", "How to read his signals", "How to make him want you", etc. All titles screamed Coloring (For new readers learn the definition).

And all were magazines I would hide from my parents.

As I moved into my early 20's magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and Marie Claire were the essentials of life. Sacred material that was the Bible for any young girl, not to mention your go to guide for just about anything.

As Marine and I stood in the Barnes & Noble magazine section Carrie Underwood caught my eye from the cover of the latest Cosmo. "How to touch a naked man" ~ reads the main headline in bold and under in a less eye catching font "16 naughty strokes that will send him over the edge".

Cosmo may be a women's magazine but it is all geared toward men. Or more specifically the things men want from women. From a woman's perspective of course.

Marine by this time has found the magazine he is looking for and turns to see what I've found.

"Oh la la," I flash the cover and grin.

He raises his eyebrows - either thinking I'm crazy or he may be in for some fun later - "Do we get to try that later?"

"Depends..... feeling lucky?"

He takes the magazine and makes his way to the check out where he puts it on the counter with his stuff and hands over his debit card.

Back at the lodge we are sitting on barstools at the tiny kitchen bar. Marine is surfing channels and I choose this as an appropriate time to flip open the magazine and study up.

He is engrossed in something on the History channel and I am mid-article when the silence is broken.

Marine, "What are you doing?"

Me, "Huh?"

He looks down at my hand.

I follow his eyes.

Down to where my index finger and thumb are in a position similar to what you would do if you're saying something is small.

"ummmm....." while reading the article I had been making the hand movements unconsciously.

My checks flush, "Nothing......." I reply in a sing song voice.

He scoots his stool closer. "So what does it say?"

As Marine peers over my shoulder I sum up each number: The T-Spot, The B-Spot, The F-Spot, and so on and so forth.

He laughs at a few, "Where do they come up with this stuff?"

I become slightly offended, I mean does he not know that Cosmo is the end all, know all of what men really want??!! How dare he question their accuracy.

I determined to show him that they know exactly what they are talking about memorize a few points to try on him later in the bedroom.

I won't give you the details but a few phrases that were mentioned to these new techniques:

• Whoa what are you doing?!
• No, no, no, no, no your going nowhere near there
• What is this supposed to make me feel again?

All intermixed with a lot (A LOT) of laughing.

My experiment was disheartening to say the least. How could Cosmo be wrong? It must be Marine. Maybe he's not normal. It could have been that I was doing it wrong, but let's face it I'm not going to take the blame. So it had to be him. Cosmo CANNOT be wrong.

**************************

Next morning picking up the magazine....

Marine, "What his text really mean..." he reads another cover head line. Turning to me, "You took advice from a magazine that tells you how to interpret text messages?"

I can't help but laugh. Maybe he has a point......

Open Mouth Insert Foot

I tend to stick my foot in my mouth.

A lot.

And sometimes that is putting it mildly.

Friday Marine picked me up from work and we went to eat Japanese with his parents. Chicken hibachi and fried rice, yum yum! After lunch Marine and I went on our way.

I won't tell you the sordid details, so let's just sum it up = open mouth insert foot.

We are in his truck. We are driving (well ok he's driving, I'm riding). We pull into the oil & lube place and I ask Marine what we are doing. "Picking up your 4Runner," He simply states.

The 'ol 4Runner has been in dire need of new rotors for........... well............. about the last 6 months. And yes I can be a tad bit of a procrastinator at times. He has had the oil changed, tires balanced and rotated, and had new rotors put on the 4Runner.

I didn't even have to ask.

Yep, at this point I officially started choking on my foot.

Marine has already paid for all of the work, we are just picking it up now that it is done. I try to pay him back. He won't let me. He tells me he doesn't want to have to worry about me breaking down while he's deployed and then adds something along the lines - "your daddy would never let you marry me if he knew I was letting you drive around with your car that bad." [for new readers my dad passed away several years ago from cancer - I will always be a daddy's girl.]

At this point I feel like a complete a-double-s.

Marine is always so considerate and so wonderful and very patient when it comes to me.

So when you know you've messed up (or stuck your foot in your mouth) and need to make amends there is no way to get your guy to forgive you sooner than by coloring [not familiar with the term ~ Check here]. Women know this - kinda like an unspoken rule. And it works every time.

That evening we went to went to diner with Giggles, Giggles Fiance, and then Married Couple friends.

After diner Giggles and her Fiance accompanied Marine and I to the bowling ally.We played one game, at which I pretty much sucked, and then said good night. It was still early. But I was still sick and Marine was tired from having drove all night so we returned home.

I took nasty medicine and was cornered and made to use Vick's Vapor Rub (which I hate) in hopes I would feel better this morning. Not sure if it worked or not. Either way I still have no voice.

Monica: [after bumping Ben's head on the ceiling, Monica & Rachel are thinking of ways to distract Ross from the bump on Ben's head] I've got it! The second that Ross walks in that door I want you to take him back to your bedroom and you do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, "Reee!"

Rachel: "Or... We could put a hat on his head."

~ FRIENDS ~

So, I thought it was going to be a date, little did I know I would be working.

Today's post comes to you from one of my best friends who you know as Vivi.

For more from Vivi check out her blog @ Mis(Adventures) Of A What If Girl.

So about a week ago I come into my office from a lunch meeting. Standing in the hall as I try to get to my office is Office Mom and this semi-cute guy. You all know Office Mom (OM), she is the one that has got your back no matter what. She is going to fight for what is right no matter what and is a ton of fun. In other words, you wish she was your mother. Now, this guy. He was tall, dusty blonde hair, kinda skinny with blue eyes. Oh, did I mention he had on a rival team's shirt? Yeah, great!

Well OM says that she's going to lunch since I had made it back and that she would see me later. I said okay, "I'll call you if the party gets too big here and we need more beer."

She being the fun one just laughs. I notice that the guy is staring at me with one of those, 'is she kidding?' looks. I don't care, I don't know him.

So I continue into my office and sit down then start checking the mass amounts of e-mails that I have collected since I have been out. Yay, the usual.

Well, I hear the end door open and shut and can tell that it is the guy leaving because I hear here still in her office trying to get everything together to go. Well, I hear the front door bell ring and don't even get up to see who it is. I figure if I don't hear anyone in a second I will. Well, I continue to check my e-mail and then I look up.

He is standing there, cute even. 'Ok, what does he want?' I think.

"Ms. (Insert last name), what are you doing for dinner tomorrow night?" he says as he smiles and steps about two steps inside my office.

I am thinking, 'what in the world is going on here? Is he asking me out? Okay... just do it. E always says that I don't take chances with my personal life so here we go.' I lie and state that I have nothing going on.

"Then dinner is tomorrow night at seven," he smiles.

By this point I am CONFUSED. I don't even know his name, never seen him before. He is in the rival team's t-shirt. I've seen his truck and what he is doing there. Does he have a real job or does he just do campaign stuff? What am I thinking?

So I am like, "Okay, what is your name?"

By this time OM is standing behind him laughing. He states to OM, "She thinks I just asked her out on a date."

"That's what it sounded like," OM says. "Not a bad idea either."

At this point I am sitting behind my desk wondering what in the HELL is going on. Should I have told him the truth and said I had another meeting I needed to attend the next night? I lied. No, I just sit there dumbfounded.

He turns back towards me, "Okay it is at seven tomorrow night at the event facility."

"Okay, what is this?" I asked, "And what is your name?"

He ignores the name part. "You will be sitting at the elected official's table. I am trying to fill the table so he will buy it."

"Okay," I say as I wish I could climb under my desk or even better, out the window that is directly behind me.

"Great," he smiles, "when you get there just tell them who's table you are sitting at and I'll hopefully see you. I'm sitting with another official."

By this time OM has walked away, laughing. And I, well I was ranshacked. I don't know what else to say. I thought I was getting a date out of the deal but apparently I was going to a work type function banquet for a company that I do business with on a regular basis. Agh!

So, I didn't know what to do. The elected official to whose table I was to be sitting works in the same building I do. He was out of town at the time--but I still didn't know what to do. So, being the person who does what I say I'm going to I agreed to do it. What else was there to do? He smiled, said he would see me the next evening and left.

Well, when the elected offical's assistant got back from lunch I told her what happened. Her words, "Was it the dark headed one or the light headed one?" What? LOL This is how we refer to campaign staff? Great. I tell her and she laughs and wishes me luck.

Well, on to the next day. I had a golf tournament that my company was putting on the day of the event, see my prior blog for info on that one, and so I was hot and tired by the time I got off. I hurry to the dealership, where my car is being fixed, and then come home to get ready to go. I curl my hair, put on a cute dress, hot high heels and run out the door. I'm running late as usual.

When I get the event facility I go in and wait to be seated. As I am in line I see one of my colleagues get in line behind me. Here goes business talk. This lasted for a moment then I was led to my seat by a friend. She was asking me about a Kenny Chesney concert I had attended, what had been going on, and much more. Not a big deal. Well, I go sit down next to a girl at the table.

"Is there anyone sitting here?" I ask.

She smiles, "No."

I notice that she is younger than me. Now, this doesn't happen often at these functions. It is very strange for me. "Great."

We make small talk for some time, "Who invited you?" I ask.

"Matt," she states.

"Matt?" I ask as the guy who asks me walks up to me in a waiters uniform.

"Yeah, that's his name." she laughs.

He comes over and says "hey" then has to keep going on about his business. I am thinking, "so now he's working the event?" I am growing even more confused by the moment.

She and I talk some more, she is also working on the campaign as a college student. Oh my, she's a student. I am getting old here!

Two couples come and sit down who are also in the political realm. I talk to them like I've known them forever. That is what I get paid to do at my real job as I like to call it. Great, I am working. The next thing I know a Pastor sits down. Okay, another element to the conversation So we have 1 Baptist Pastor, 1 couple who works for a elected official at another table, 1 couple who is corporate, myself who works with everyone above, and my newly made friend who works at Outback and goes to college. Interesting topics.

This turns out to be a working banquet, meaning that they talk while you are eating. 'Well, that saves me.' I think. I am tired of talking to people, I've done so all day by this point.

During dinner Matt, again this is his name, fills our drinks and chats occasionally. Well, after we eat and he has cleared our dishes he brings himself a plate out and sits down between the preacher and I. He has on an apron, removes it from around his neck and eats this course. I laugh to begin with because I am so lost. He smiled and laughed as well, "I was hungry." Quickly he gets up and goes back to the kitchen. We sit and watch more of the program which is concerning sex and safe sex practices. Yes, I am at a banquet that basically concerts reproduction. Great.

I get a little uncomfortable about the topics at one point as they have people come up and testify to their stories about abortion. This is not a dinner topic-just to let you know.

Everyone at the table finally decides to eat desert except for the pastor. Not a big deal. Right. Matt comes back and sits down. He begins to eat his cheese cake, I remind him to take the apron off. He laughs and I can tell the girl next to me is not liking our conversation, oh well--it's Innocent. I mean, they are talking about abortion in front of us. Do you honestly think this is a date? No. Anyways. He eats his cheese cake, looks over at me and winks then takes the pastors chocolate cake and eats it too! I was about to crack up at the faces he was giving. Oh well though, not a date. I'm sitting at a VIP's table... be good Vivi. I kept telling myself that anyways.

Well, Matt stays for the rest of the program. They ask for donations in which I am a sucker, so I gave them a check. (Tax deductible mind you.)

After the program is over I stand and talk to Matt, the girl, and the elected official's campaign manager. They were all really nice. As I get out my business card to hand it to someone coming up to me Matt takes them. He starts singing, "Make it rain, make it rain..." I am cracking up by this point. Well, until I see that the girl has NO CLUE what song he is talking about. He just laughed and we talked a bit more.

Now, so I talked to the Campaign Manager. He's hot. Politicians don't make the best boyfriend, so I am thinking talking long to this guy can't be good. He is really nice though... says he will come by my office one day. Sounds great to me. :)

So I am finally ready to go, Grey's Anatomy came on that night and I needed to get home for it! (I only miss that show for coloring, and I wasn't coloring so I didn't care!) We all said our goodbyes and Matt thanked me for our 'date.' The girl gave me a look and the Campaign Manager must have been in on what happened so he just laughed.

I said my goodbyes, went to the car and called E and Blondie.

So--what do you do when a date isn't a date? When you try to be brave but it almost backfires? I say almost because I did enjoy the funny parts of the evening. The food was good, seeing business associates can be great, and laughter. I didn't know what to do. I tried the brave thing and it was interesting but do I honestly think I'll hear from him again? Not unless he has a table to fill. Do I think I'll see the Campaign Manager? Not really--though I have thought about asking my friend about him. But, honestly he has a name I don't even remember! How sad is that! It is different. Oh well, if you can't remember his name should you even be interested? Now, last names are a different story--this is a first name!

The Book

It all started last year. Vivi and I were wandering around the Miami airport. We had a few hours to kill till our flight. It was in the airport Barnes and Noble that I first spotted a book that would catch my eye. I would pick it up contemplate on buying it but then return it when Vivi and I found a book with a slightly more interesting title. Mentally though I added it to my ‘must read list’. Several months later while ordering from Amazon I again pull the book up. It’s on the New York Times Bestseller list. I scroll down the item page scanning the reviews as I go. Some reviews are good saying that the book is witty and a must read, while other reviews say how awful the book is. In reality this only intrigues me more and my desire to read grows. The arrow lingers over “add to cart” yet I hesitate my cart already has three books in it and I just can’t bring myself to spend the extra money. So I save it for a later.

In all honesty I had nearly forgot about the book. Then one night Marine and I were talking and somehow the conversation turned to books we had read or wanted to read. The book comes up. Marine laughs saying that he has read it and asks if I’m sure I want to read it. I consider myself a pretty well rounded person and not really understanding what I am fully getting myself into I answer with an affirmative, “yes.”

Now fast forward a bit. It is the morning of my birthday. I sit on the bed smiling as Marine spreads my presents out before me. Excitedly I start opening. There it is, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.

With a laugh Marine says, “I knew you said you wanted to read and I figured you would never actually buy if for yourself,” he pauses then adds, “besides I figure you can read that while I’m deployed that way you’ll appreciate me more and not think about how hard it is me being gone.”

I shake my head at him and laugh and then jump across the bed tackling him a hug. At that time I thought I couldn’t possibly appreciate him anymore that I already do.

I was wrong.

So Marine is not deployed yet. But he is off on some training thing for a month. I just finished reading The Lost Symbol and with nothing else new on my bookcase I decide to go ahead and crack open the stories of Tucker Max.

Last night I sat upstairs I had been reading and the book now lay on the coffee table abandoned because Desperate Housewives was about to come on. Vixen isn’t home yet and it’s just me and VB (Vixen’s Boy).

He spots the book. “You’re reading this?” he asks with a look of surprise on his face.

“Yeah.” I answer.

He laughs, “Never would have pictured this would be a book you would read.”

I laugh to. I guess because I am the shy, easily embarrassed one of the group and honestly perhaps the most naive. But VB and I have been friends since middle school so we start into a discussion about the book. Apparently every guy, even the ones that don’t normally read, have read this book.

Bravo Tucker Max. Bravo.

Now with that being said, WOW!! I mean really, I was not fully prepared before starting this book. And yes when Marine got his weekly ten minute phone call and called me yesterday I admitted to him that the book did make me appreciate and love him even more (if possible) for being such a nice guy. And then I was quick to add that we were going to have a discussion once he was back about some of things in the book and if he thought even remotely like Tucker I was going to slap him. At which he laughs and says, “Hey I warned you it was pretty vulgar.”

Despite all that though I cannot put the book down. Yes, Tucker Max is degrading, repulsive, and self destructive to name just a few. He treats women as if they are expendable entities not even worthy of being thought of as people. The lack of respect oozes from him much like the booze smell that I am sure he reeked of for at least the majority of his early twenties. Yet in all honesty if more girls read this book I think perhaps it would open their eyes. I didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday……….. Whoa wait where did that come from? I never use that saying….. where did I even hear it from….. oh well anyway ---- I know a line when I hear it. That is perhaps why I don’t hook up. Ok well except that one time. But really everyone needs to experience at least one one-night-stand in their lifetime. I mean it’s a right of passage. Ok maybe not but it makes me feel better about mine. Back to point basic principle girls fall head over heals WAY to easily. I mean if a guy gives us a little attention and says just a few of the right things we are putty in his hands. You know I’m right. I blame Disney. We’ve all done it; fell for that bad boy when we know better. Well this book gives you a little insight to what that bad boy you think you love is really thinking. I mean I love my guy friends and that is perhaps why I really understand this book to an extent because some of the stories I have heard similar - well more rated - versions of from my guy friends. Trust me over the years I have heard more than I really would like to have. And yes guys really do think this way.

Now I have said all this to quote a part from the book {I warn you explicit, vulgar content to follow, I don’t want to offend anybody so stop reading now if you are easily offended – again this is a direct quote}:

“Ladies, let me give you some advice. You can throw all your stupid fucking chick-lit, self-help, why-doesn’t-he-love-me books out, because this is all you need to know: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no suck thing as ‘deserving’ respect; you get what you demand from people. Let a guy fuck you in the ass, cum on your back, drink all your beer and then leave, and he’ll do it. But if you demand respect, he will either respect you, or he won’t associate with you. It really is that simple.”

I have to say I agree with Tucker. As I read this part I paused and thought back on past failed relationships along with guys of the past that didn’t quite make it to that relationship status. And in each case I realized the more I liked the guy the more I would let him run over me. Or a better way to say it – if I was more into the guy than he was into me than I tended to demand less respect because I was blinded by God knows what and therefore thought he actually deserved to be in my life. At least that is how early twenties E was.

No guy is perfect just like no girl is perfect either. But when you are lucky enough to find one that is as close to perfect in your eyes as someone can be, well appreciate them. Yeah reading this book and thinking about my string of ex’s really makes me appreciate Marine more.

Also as I read the story of Tucker Max’s life and of the many, many women he meets and has relations with I can’t help but wonder; what will happen when he finally meets the “one”? Will he lose her because of his wild past? What will she think of his book and his many conquests? Could a girl ever move past that to have a serious relationship with him? Or has he pretty much shot himself in the foot and set the course of his life to remain a single boozing, sleeping with anything that moves bachelor who will never settle down?

"Look, I know how bad some of these stories are. I know that in return for my youthful behavior, fate will give me five daughters......"

~ Tucker Max, This'll Just Hurt A Little ~

When Did The Rules Change?

When did the rules change?


Ok I may have you confused. You really want to hear more about my weekend with Marine.... and that is coming.... promise. But while writing my last post the question came to mind: when did the rules change?

In our early twenties we stuck to Lauren Conrad's rule that if your a good girl you wait 6 months before you give it up (aka color ~ if I have you lost on the coloring to term please refer here). As we got a little older we thought we could cut that time in half..... so 3 months. Well apparently Vixen and I have both broken the rule both of us coloring after only a month.

At once this rule was so easy to stick to. Why is it that as we get older the rules change? The game is the same.... ok well not really...... I can honestly say Marine is different from any other guy I have ever dated (which if you knew the losers of my past you would see this as a good thing). But still I had at least planned to hold out till Labor Day.

Of course Vixen and I also said we did not want a relationship. Guess we broke that rule to. Eh oh well.

Samantha, "I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you."

~ Sex and the City ~

Keeps Getting Better

Marine arrived at the house shortly after midnight. I stood on the front porch with Blondie's BF and VB as I saw the car lights turning into the driveway. I mustered all the self control I had to not go running like the true idiot I can be. Instead I just walked rather quickly to the car. I reached the car as he was getting out. Like a cheesy romantic comedy (cause lets face it no matter what my life seems to always be part comedy) our eyes locked and the rest of the world seemed to disappear. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up into a hug and spun me around. I hugged him tight our cheeks pressed together, my chin resting lightly on his shoulder as he spoke into my hair.

I was aware of the presence of VB and Blondie's BF behind us finally having also made their way down the driveway. He lowered me but intertwined his fingers thru mine as he extended his other to shake hands with both guys. We made our way to the house where Blondie and Vixen greeted him (the others had left a few hours before, as we get older our get togethers seem to end earlier and earlier). VB mixed Marine a drink and we all sat on the porch visiting in the cool summer night. He was here! Actually here and I didn't want to let go of him for fear he would *poof* disappear. He must have felt the same way as he slipped an arm around my waist. We stayed on the porch visiting about 30 minutes before everyone said they were ready for bed.

Marine and I headed down the stairs to my new room. We brushed our teeth and he told me bout the 8 drive while I washed my face.

Things are just so comfortable. Blondie asked if I was nervous about him coming to spend the weekend with me and with all honesty I could tell her no. Like he said one night on the phone, since we are long distance all we can do is talk therefor we seem to know a lot more about each other. More so than if he was living close by and we were just going out on dates. Because yes we would talk but probably not as much as we have been.

Perfect! That is really the only way to describe the weekend.

Saturday morning we woke up about 7:30 (and I admit like a kid on Christmas morning I was to excited to go back to sleep) we laid in bed another hour then headed upstairs. I opened the fridge and retrieved the carton of eggs and there in the kitchen in our pajama's we cracked eggs in preparation of making breakfast for everyone. We talked and laughed as I placed the biscuits on the cookie sheet and he mixed salt and pepper into the eggs. Thirty minutes later the two of us were joined by Vixen and VB. The four of us sat on the front porch and enjoyed our simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and biscuits.

After breakfast Marine and I quickly got ready and left the house trying to fit in all that we had planned for the day. First we stopped and picked up his German Shepard and then headed to a near by state park. We live in such a beautiful area with so many natural wonders that don't take the time to enjoy. So Marine and I have decided each time he comes home we are going to try and visit a different place. For this weekend we decided to hike at the national park up to the waterfalls.

It was hot, humid, and let's try to pretend that I didn't sweat but instead glistened. Reality --> I was sweating like a whore in church it was so hot. Other than that though it was a blast!! So much fun and oh so beautiful! It was a beautiful summer day, the sun shinning overhead and an occasional cool breeze blowing thru just to tease us.

Upon leaving the park we stopped to grab a quick late lunch and headed to the house to shower and get ready for the evening. I had Punk-Rock-Chick's lingerie shower/brown bag party to attend at 6. Then after that diner with the family.

We ended up taking a little to much time for personal matters which left us running late and me applying makeup in the car (something I have surprisingly never done before I don't think). We pulled into the apartment complex right at 6 with a quick kiss I bail out of the car as he calls for me to have fun and he'll be back in an hour.

I walk in and quickly hug and greet Blondie, Punk-Rock-Chick, Alice, Hollywood, and Babbles.

"You colored!" Hollywood exclaims.

"What?" I look at her surprised.

"She so colored!" Blondie says as if I'm not standing there.

"You are glowing! I mean look at your smile. You are the worst liar ever!!" Babbles laughs.

Alice giggles getting to the point, "So did you color outside the lines?"

"Come on dish!" Punk-Rock-Chick plops down in a chair.

"She is so falling for this guy!"

"Yep she has that bitten by the love bug look."

The statements have all come at once, overlapping and now all eyes are on me. They all grow silent waiting for me to respond. But like lions playing with their food before they eat it. I can't deny it.. So I laugh. "ok ok maybe I colored!"

The room erupts in laughs and I knew it's. I'm hoping that I can be out of the spotlight but as the brown bag (aka adult toy) party starts I realize that I will be the brunt of the jokes for the night. Oh yes each product or item gets a comment and a laugh from the peanut gallery. My face turns red but I still laugh.

I had excused myself to go to the bathroom and I hear a knock on the door. Marine has arrived to pick me up and has probably called my phone which was abandoned on the kitchen table after being put on silent...... oh well he deserves to be embarrassed to. I come into the room to all my friends talking to him. The ones that know him introducing him to the ones that don't. I give Punk-Rock-Chick a hug and go to leave. He turns his back and all my friends start giving me signals (thumbs up, huge smiles, etc) to display their approval.

Once in the car:

Marine, "So have fun."

Me with a laugh, "Yeah."
Marine, "What do you have in your hand?"

Did I forget to mention I won the games? (I stress gamessss) Not one but two. Both games I won. And as the winner I received "prizes". At which all my friends shriek and jeer about saying that I can use them this weekend.

Oh yeah. Maybe one day I will not get embarrassed quite so easily.......... but I doubt that will be anytime soon.

Story to Be Continued

Robin, "I still say this is stupid. What happened to, "As we mature, the relationship matures with us?""

Marshall, "That's just something Lily read in Psychology Today. Alright, she read it in Cosmo. Alright, I read it in Cosmo. Alright, it was CosmoGirl!"

~ How I Met Your Mother ~

It's Just A Crush

This morning I am grinning from ear to ear and nothing can seem to burst the happy bubble I have wrapped myself in. Wow I forgot how nice it can be to have a crush. Now I don't want to jinx myself or get ahead of myself here, I mean it's just a crush. But let's get real here, it has been sssoooo long since I have had a genuine crush! With the holiday weekend Marine2 was able to take leave and come home. I had not spoken to him since the Memorial day confusion. Then Friday night I sat atop Horse and see a friends familiar truck and horse trailer pulling into the Saddle Club. I see two guys I had been expecting pile out along with one unfamiliar face and then the rear door opens and out climbs Marine2. Very unexpected. I slide off Horse and meet him half way as he wraps me in a friendly hug. Vixen and I talk with the new arrivals as they unload and saddle their horses. The unfamiliar face belongs to a Marine buddy of Marine2 who decided to come south instead of returning home for the long weekend.

The night goes on. We all ride around. As it comes my turn to run I can see them gathered around the end of the arena. As I approach the barrel I hear them cheering, my own personal cheering section. It's nice to have support. The arena was not up to par in my opinion so I eased Horse thru the motions never letting her reach maximum speed for fear of injury in the less than perfect conditions. We ran our slowest time to date..... and still placed 5th! I was happy. But with everyone there it would have been nice to have taken home the blue but my horse and her safety comes first. After the run I unsaddled her and Mom left en route to take her home. As previously planned I was camping out with Vixen and Hollywood (I have way to many friends up till now she has been referred to as girlfriend but since she keeps making appearances she deserves a name! lol She is the girlfriend I work at Sportsbar with).

Marine2 had talked with Mom as I had unsaddled Horse. Once done I climbed on behind him (on his horse) and we headed off to join the rest of the group and watch the rest of the show. The rest of the evening I rode around double with him laughing and having a great time

Fourth of July was good as well. Last night of the horse show. I think we were all tired as my Saddle Club members gathered around helping each other get everything ready.

Sunday we packed up the camper and the horses. The Gang and I went and stopped for a late lunch and then Vixen and I were on the way home. I was exhausted. After taking care of everything at the barn it was 5 o'clock. Having gone 8 days straight with long days and short nights my eyes instantly closed as I plopped down on my bed.

Shortly after 8 my eyes fluttered open, it was dusk out and I lay there debating on getting up and getting something to eat or on going back to sleep when my phone rang. My heart skipped a beat as Marine2's name flashed across the display.

Like a giggly teenager I answered the phone, a smile already on my face. He asks if I have plans for the evening. I tell him no (I mean sleep can wait). He asks if I want to maybe hang out and watch a movie. Of course I agree. Vixen is not home so it's just me (have I mentioned I'm moving in with her). We have been out of town for a week. I make a quick grocery store run before returning to the house.

Him and his Marine buddy arrive movie in hand. I knew the buddy would be with him so I had already called in Hollywood to play wingman. Marine Buddy was cute, Hollywood was single ----perfect!

We sat down to watch the movie. A little ways in he reaches over and takes my hand. I remain calm on the outside and hide the fact that the simple move had caused my heart to skip a beat.

The movie ends and the four of us dissect it reviewing what we just saw. Conversations start to vary as a TV program comes on. A short time goes by and Hollywood bids farewell, she has an early day of work to prepare for.

The three of us remain watching TV. I drift off for what seemed like only a moment but was perhaps slightly longer. I awoke to see Marine Buddy fast asleep and Marine2 awake watching the TV and softly rubbing my arm. We start talking. By now it is after 1 a.m. He tells me they need to go. I want to invite them to stay the night. But I hesitate. I mean I really like this guy and I don't want to give him the wrong impression. On the other hand I won't see him again till Labor day so the few short hours that remain I don't really want to give up.

We cover Marine buddy up with a blanket and quietly enter the bedroom. And no nothing happened for those of you that are wondering ~ The coloring drought continues. We laid awake talking for hours playing the 20 (more like 200) question game. We had so much in common! The alarm was set for 6:35 and the last time I looked at the clock it was a little after 5. I didn't want to close my eyes. I didn't want to lose a minute. He said it was nice just laying and talking to someone and I couldn't have agreed more!

He kissed me. Not one of those passionate gotta have you kisses that is fiery yet fleeting, but a soft and gentle first kiss that leaves you hoping it will be the first of many to come.

After about an hours worth of sleep the alarm sounded and he crawled out of bed to go wake his buddy. They were leaving in an hour to head back to base. I got out of bed and walked them to the door.

He leaned down and kissed me gently right there in front of his buddy (if a guy kisses you in front of his friends I always think it means they really do like you ~ so I took this as a good sign). He told me he would call.

And you know what? I really hope he does...... This is a wonderful, exciting, scary feeling. One I haven't felt for nearly 9 years. The last real crush I had was X.

And don't take this the wrong way but Marine2 is everything X was and more.

I can't stop smiling. Keep your fingers crossed!

Joey, (Thinking about Rachel) "I've got nothing to worry about, it's just a crush."

Rachel, "Hi."

Joey, (Thinking) "I love you!"

~ Friends ~

The V Card

If Vixen was in the know about my blog I would have her write this story for your enjoyment, but since she is not I will tell the story in the way it was told to me and will be writing it from her point of view..... and perhaps adding a bit of my own flair ~ enjoy.

First a little background ~~~ Vixen is one of those gorgeous girls that can have any guy she wants. I have been single now a little over a year and have only went on dates with 1 maybe 2 guys (?) while Vixen who has been single since December has went out with countless potential suitors - all seemingly wanting to have a relationship with her. Which they do not realize is the final nail in their coffin. Vixen is not looking for a relationship. If you think I have commitment issues.... well Vixen is right up there with me if not worse. She can be the ultimate bitch (I mean that in the nicest way) when it comes to guys. Each guy has a shelf life. Few dates. Tops. Then its adios. And the thing is she warns them off the bat. "I DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP!" She is very clear about this. Yet they don't listen. Can't say she didn't warn them......

~~~~~~~~

So I don't believe in happily ever after, I mean that apparently only happens in movies. In the meantime instead of continuing on the never ending search for Mr. Right I have decided to have fun with Mr. Right-Now (a revolving guy who can and does tend to change weekly). But imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon a different breed of guy. One I thought was long extinct. A guy that still holds his V Card clean and intact..... Mr. Virgin. Yes, you heard me right.

Now I guess I can't really talk I mean its been so long for me that I think my virginity is starting to grow back..... but my six month dry spell (which is self-chosen) does not compare to 27 years!

This is new territory for me. I mean this is a good looking, nice, successful and dare I say passionate kissing guy. Not someone I would picture to still be a V Card carrying member. Naturally I assume its just a line. But the more in depth our conversation goes I am stunned to realize he is telling the truth. He is waiting for marriage. Which is great don't get me wrong. But you gotta test drive the car before you buy it. Right? I mean what if you get married and the coloring is awful? A point that I do bring up, to which he says that he will have nothing to compare it to. Ok valid point but what about the woman what if its not good for her? I feel like a completely shallow idiot when he replies by saying that the woman will marry him because they love him and that coloring will not be that important.....

What planet is this foreign creature from?

Perhaps it is that fascination that has lead me to extend his shelf life.... in a completely friends only manner, of course. Because to state again: I DO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP!

So went out this past weekend and met Edward. Yes, Yes.... he was young. BUT HELLO this is Edward we're talking about here! Ok well the closest I will ever get to an Edward. Hey don't judge.

He calls and wants to hang out and I agree. I mean hell what do I have to lose? And really if my ex who is 32 can date a girl 11 years his junior why can I not date a guy 4 years younger than myself? See my point?! Besides this is Edward.

Fast-forward he comes up, we hang out....... and this morning at 7 am sharp I have to call E weather she is up or not to tell her he to is a V Card carrying member! Really?! Seriously?! Is this God's way of telling me to let the dry spell continue? Cause I am so not taking someones V Card. That is like purchasing a one way ticket straight to hell or something.

"The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor."

~ Carrie, SATC ~

Just What I Need On A Night Like This

I arrived at Giggles house loaded down with all the necessities: camera, rum, and chocolate. I mean really what more do you need. I hugged the few friends that had already arrived and mixed a drink and joined them on the back porch. It was a beautiful day! Us girls sat and caught up as the guys headed for the backyard to start a game of horseshoes. In a short time others started to arrive and before long the back yard was filled with laughter and chattering voices. There were about 20 or so people, some of which I have not seen in months.

Everything about the night was great ~ the kabobs, the smores, the conversations, and the gazillion pics we took. The night was beautiful and as I sat around the bonfire I leaned back in my chair to look up at the stars thankful for the night in itself.

Shortly after midnight I climbed the stairs and changed into PJ's and collapsed on the air mattress. The previous days and lack of sleep catching up with me. My phone goes off. Part of me wants to ignore it but the curiosity gets to me and I roll over to retrieve my phone. Marine1.

He has called me once already and sent numerous messages throughout the night. He is based about 7 hours from here so he decided to come home for the weekend. On his ride home Friday he had inquired about hanging out that night but I was working at Sports Bar and had to decline. Yesterday he asked about my plans and I had told him of the Engagement party/cookout. He acted interested but it was not my place to invite him. Besides he had other plans.

I reply and place the phone back down and then fall into a peaceful sleep. Several hours later my phone starts ringing. I quickly grab it press the button and go into the hall so not to wake up Vivi, Vixen and Girlfriend.

"Hello," I whisper still half asleep.
"Hey," comes the deep familiar voice of Marine1, "Where are you at?"
"Giggles and BF's."
"What are you doing?"
"I was sleeping," I stress.
"Oh sorry...... what time is it?"
I take the phone away from ear and glance at the display, "3:30." I reply frustrated.
"Oh...... I'm sorry didn't mean to wake you up. Didn't realize it was that late."
"What's up?" Usually I'm a little nicer but its 3:30 a.m. get to the point.
"Nothing. Just wondering what you were doing."
I sigh, "Ok well I'll call you in the morning."
"Ok. Good Night."

I hang up and head back to the comfort of the air mattress. In route my phone vibrates in my hand. I open the message.

Marine1: Let's go to your house and passout

You have got to be kidding me. I go out in the hall again and call him back. I now learn he wound up going with some people to a house party and now he is stranded there. He doesn't have his car and he is beyond ready to go. I tell him to go to sleep and I'll come get him in the morning. He then tells me there is nowhere for him to sleep and he proceeds to beg.

I've been there before. Being somewhere you didn't want to be and wanting to leave and being unable to. Anyone else who has been in this position can relate to how much it sucks. Sigh. "I'll be there in 3o minutes....... and by the way you so owe me big time!"

All my friends said I was stupid for going but if it would have been one of them I would have done the same.

I head outside in my pj's my stuff in hand. I climb in the 4runner and head to town. I have never been to this place before but it is 20 seconds if that from town and was easy to find. As I turn on the road I call Marine1 and tell him to be outside waiting that I'm not getting out of the car. I pull in the driveway and what should be the first car I see? Big's Jeep.... apparently things in couple-land are not going so good. I feel a moment of sympathy for him but it is quickly gone along with any other thoughts of him as Marine1 climbs in the car.

"Thank you." He says with a grin before I can say anything.
"Yeah, Yeah." I grumble and head toward home.

We arrive shortly and I enter the house and fall into bed as he heads towards the kitchen for a glass of water. Oh yes the bed beats the air mattress any day!

A moment later as I lie in the darkness I feel the bed shift as the weight of Marine1 climbs in. He scoots close and puts his arm around me. This is the main part I miss about being in a relationship, sleeping with someone (and I do mean just sleeping). I like being held while I sleep. Feeling someone beside you. As I snuggle up next to him I drift off.

This morning I awoke to the sun streaming thru the windows announcing the arrival of another beautiful day. I roll over buring my face in the pillow not yet ready to start the new day. I can't fall back asleep. I feel Marine1 from behind me start to stir as well. "Good morning," He mumbles buring his face in my hair.

"I'm not ready to get up," I admit.
"Then lets not."

I laugh at the simple reply as I reach for the remote and flip on the TV. We lay there in silence just enjoying the companionship as we watch I Am Legend. My phone starts ringing Vixen's tone and I sit up and reach over to answer it.

"Good morning."
"So have sex last night?"
My back is still to Marine1 but I know my cheeks are flaming, "No," I laugh.
"Yeah right. You had sex last night."
"No I really didn't." Not knowing how else to respond so that Marine1 doesn't know what I am talking about.

The conversation continues a moment longer then I tell her bye. As I hang up and go to set the phone down Marine1 is laughing. "So we had sex last night?"

I laugh to realizing he heard the entire conversation, "Apparently."

He shakes his head and reaches up for me pulling me back down beside him. We watched a little more of the movie and then got up to start the day. I had things to do and he needed to get home and get ready to head back to base.

I dropped him off at his car and like always he says he will call and tells me when he next plans on coming home again. As he goes to get out of the car he pauses and thanks me again for coming to get him.

"That's what friends are for." I reply with a half-smile.

As I drive I think about the situation. I'm not ready for a relationship. I have stated that over, over, and over again. I mean I spent over 7 years trying to make someone else happy. It's my turn. And the thing about going on dates is the internal fear of the feeling that it might actually start "going somewhere". Yeah that scares the crap out of me. But lets face it there are somethings I do miss about being in a relationship; ie cuddling. The great thing about Marine1 is we hang out, we laugh, we have fun, we kiss occasionally, we cuddle, and then he goes back to base. If he calls great. If he doesn't that's ok to. The fact is he is not around all the time and there is no pressure. Even though neither of us says it we both know it will go nowhere. We live in the moment. Not thinking about the last nor even considering the fact there may be another in the future. No pressure. He can date, I can date. No ties. I've never experienced anything like this. Being so emotionally unattached to a situation. I think the helpless romantic in me may have finally given up or at least taken a much needed vacation.

My friends may not understand it. But right now I think it's just what I need.

Aleksandr, "Is this really how one finds love?"

Carrie, "No, it's just what we do to distract ourselves until the real thing comes along."

~ Sex And The City ~

Rule number 1: Never Tell Your Girlfriends

When having a 'hook up' be smart. Tell no one. Yeah that was where I messed up.... If you tell no one it is never talked about therefor you can pretend it never happened. At least that is the way things go in my little bubble.

But nnnooo I had to open my big mouth. Shake of head. That was not my only mistake but really we don't have all night for me to point out the many mistakes I have made when it comes to men, relationships, hook ups, and screw ups. So for the time being we will focus on this one.

So now anytime Marine1 is brought up I get the look. You know the look I'm referring to. Its almost a smirk. And Vixen has that know all smirk that only she can give. I admit she knows me at times better than I know myself but really. Its as if they think I secretly have a crush on him. Which I do not. Perhaps its because I don't hook up.

But the thing is after awhile they start to mess with your physcee. Make you think, well should I have a crush on him? It makes you second guess yourself --- something I am not a big fan of.

I have to shake my head to clear it of the thoughts they put there with their looks and remind myself it was what it was. Nothing more. And I want to leave it at that. I don't want anything more than a friendship with him now or ever. I mean he really isn't a guy I would ever want to date. Expect he can be an ass at times which tends to be my normal type. But no. I'm really only into him as a friend.

I want the bubble back.

Miranda, (The man Miranda had just met at the gym asked her out) "Nah, it's too quick. I think maybe that kick in his head scrambled his brains."

Carrie, "No. Too quick is sleeping with him on the first date. That's too quick."

Miranda, "You both got excited, and you went for it. Stop blaming yourself."

Carrie, "Oh, I don't blame myself. I blame the dress. The dress!"

~ SATC ~

Sent via BlackBerry

One Night

I will stop coming to work hungover.

I will stop coming to work hungover.

I will try to stop coming to work hungover......

Lately life has been spontaneous and exciting ~ a nice mix from the mundane day to day pattern I have fallen into during the winter months. Last night I headed south to meet up with Blondie, her BF and a group of his friends. Marine1 and JC joined us at the restaurant and completed the group. After dinner we arrive back at BF's house and drinks are poured and the cards are dealt. I hold my Dr. Pepper bottle tightly knowing that I have to work the next day (today) and need to go home at a reasonable hour...... I always start out with good intentions..... Then shots are poured. Marine1 hands me one. I shake my head and try to decline. But he is persistent. I fall for the "I'm only home a for a few more days" crap and I cave saying just one. And so it begins, with a laugh we cheers and bottoms up. The crown burns as it makes its way down and I am told again how much of a trooper I am because I am the only girl that will do shots with them. Where's Vivi when I need backup? lol

When I decline another drink JC asks, "why are you leaving?"

Me, "I have to work tomorrow."

JC, "So doesn't matter if you get home at 1 or 6 you'll still make it to work. Your staying," He hands me the drink.

In my post shot mind set his logic makes sense. So I take the drink and head up the stairs with him to blow up the air mattress so it will be ready later. I return down stairs and Marine1 is grinning from ear to ear as he hands us both a shot glass. I know better, really I do. But I do it anyway.

And that would be the beginning of the end.

Now here is the part where I debate the content of my blog. Do I keep my secrets and use discretion? Or do I be bluntly honest as I so admire other bloggers for being without fear of being judged?

So Blondie has been telling me that Marine1 and I will hook up eventually. I deny this, telling her no that some roads aren't meant to be traveled back down; i.e. Marine1 and I have hooked up before. It was right before he left for Iraq. And as last night there was to much booze involved and... well.... you know how it goes. That made Marine1 go down in my book as my only one night stand ever.

So the past few months Vivi, Vixen and myself have had a no-coloring pact going on. Which we have all resisted temptation and stuck to. Until last night.

Can someone be a repeat one night stand? This morning I felt slightly embarrassed. Ok there is no slightly to it. I feel downright embarrassed. And a little disappointed in myself.

So I leave this morning and arrive home around 5 a.m. I crawl in bed and I am out before my head hits the pillow. The alarm sounded all to soon at 7:15. As I crawled out of my bed, my head spinning, all I could tell myself was one more week. One more week and Marine1 will be gone and I can go back to my 8 hours of sleep per night.

He calls this morning to name off all the stuff I left behind last night in my haste to get the hell out of dodge. Things between us are fine, as I knew they would be but am glad for the confirmation. No awkwardness.

So here I am at work. Suffering from a slight case of the self-inflicted flu. And after work, I will head to SportsBar where I will work till close. Perhaps it's a good thing Marine1 is leaving in a week. I will miss the random nights and the never-knowing-what-is-going-to-happen-next- excitement.

One more week. A week including St. Patty's day. The planning started last night. And I will be off work Tuesday and Wednesday. Let the games begin.

"Low rise jeans are just so impractical when comes to flying by the seat of your pants."