Transition

Hyper Update: I am anxiously waiting to hear from the vet in the morning and hope that I will be able to bring Hyper home. I miss her so much!!

Last night, despite the cold, I slipped on a cute cluby outfit and headed out with Giggles. We met up with Punk-Rock-Chick and some other friends and headed for the club. As we searched for parking I was surprised to see the clothes some of the girls waiting to get into the club were wearing, or should I say lack there of. I mean its 40 degrees (give or take) out and some of the girls are in tank tops and short, barely there skirts. Yeah that is just not me! We stand outside huddled closely together as we wait to get in. Apparently we are being held up by a guy who is kindly being told by the girl at the door that his name is not on the list. None of us had ever been to this club before and all of a sudden I felt quite special knowing our names were on the list. I shiver from the cold as we move forward. The girl at the door greets Punk-Rock-Chick with a smile and a hug and with a "have fun" we are sent thru the door.

It's smaller on the inside than most clubs I have been in, but like most clubs/bars the lights are low and the music is loud. The night is spent drinking and dancing. A guy comes up and asks me to dance. With a smile I say sure. And after dancing a moment I notice Punk-Rock-Chick's boyfriend approach me, he grabs my hands pulling me away from the cute stranger and starts dancing with me as he pulls me toward the bar. Punk-Rock-Chick quickly appears to punch him in the arm asking what he is doing. He replies he was saving me. The group gathers around us, at this point I am slightly embarrassed. But I have to laugh Puck-Rock-Chick said to look at me and he thought she said for him to save me. With a laugh I grab Punk-Rock-Chick and Giggles and go back to dancing.

Finally Giggles and I decide to head home, which is a good hour forty-five minute drive. Overall it was a fun night but I felt as if I was wearing a mask. Plastering on a smile while on the inside I wanted to cry. My heart is still in a million pieces.

Today was not any easier. I'm so tired of feeling down. But I know time will heal my wounds.

I am in this transition period as well. I don't know where to call home.... the house I shared with X or my parents. I can no longer bear to stay at the house, our house. Boxes litter the floor waiting to be moved. I have not stayed the night at the house since last Monday night. I have been staying at my moms. Without Hyper the house is just to empty. So for the past week I have been living out of a bag. Tomorrow I plan on moving all my clothes to mom's and hopefully in the next week I can get everything out. I guess I had been putting it off with the hopes X would come back home.

And mom's well my old room may as well be titled "the life of E and X". There are pictures everywhere! And mom still has our wedding pics and such throughout the house. So this week will be a cleansing week as I remove the pictures and try to tuck the memories away in my mental file cabinet to which I plan on throwing away or at least hiding the key!

Some times the best theory is: out with the old, in with the new. But how long will it take before my heart will mend and I will truly get over X?

Miranda: "Just when exactly do you think you're gonna be getting out of this hostage situation?"

Charlotte: "Miranda..."

Miranda: "What? Am I wrong?"

Charlotte: "Don't listen to her, Carrie, it's only been a month. It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them."

Carrie: "I always like a good math solution to any love problem.Charlotte: It's the break-up rule -- you and Big only went out for a year so that means that she's got five more months to get over him."

~ Sex and the City ~